For the men: would you take your bride's last name instead of vice versa?

[BrianD]

I coach a youth sports team (wrestling), and I ran into one of the parents the other day. His son was playing baseball, and the boy's last name had changed. His father told me that since his wife was the last one in her family to carry on the family name (no males), he decided to change his name to her family name, and also changed the last names of their children (2 boys, I think).

I was pretty shocked. I might see it when they first got married, but to decide to do this now seems to ignore the affect on the boys of having their names changed.

Maybe it is just the chauvinist in me.

[JazzMan]

Originally posted by BrianD
Maybe it is just the chauvinist in me.

I don't think so, I thinks it's kinda strange as well.

This will have some impact on the kids.

[Aquaman]

actually I think thats kind of cool! that should not be that much of a problem for kids if you sit down and explain it to them, Its not like the family is divorcing!

We have a tradition in our family that the males initals are JCW my sister after getting married named their first child a girl Jacie Lorali Severance which was cool, her first name sounds like JC and her middle name makes here a JL like her mother.

[dc]

Different for sure. I don't think it really matters, but it's usually the man that is so intent on carrying on the name. Wonder how his family feels about it?

[BrianD]

I wondered the same thing, Debi.

[dc]

OOPS, I timed out an double posted!

I know we have one son, and he will probably never get married. Dan's the only one in his family, but he's not that hung up on it.

[Newreeflady]

I think it's odd. I'm very traditional in some ways, tho.

(Bri, don't knock my "tho" )

Angela.

[JMsAquarium]

Many countries allow that, such as Japan. France just passed a law on that recently, as too many names were dissapearing. but the choice has to be made at the time of the marriage.,not after. I believe it's fair to be allowed to choose either name. Although my wife decided to carry mine as she likes it more than her own.

[leykis1o1]

[edited]

[leykis1o1]

sorry about that...i mean id dump that chick!!

[Kengar]

i give the guy credit, but no way for me.

[dc]

It's got to be weird for the kids. My 2 nephews have the same parents, but different last names. The first, they weren't married so she gave him her last name, then they got married and had another. She never changed tho. Sometimes it really bothers him, he's 11 now.

[pnosko]

Originally posted by BrianD
Maybe it is just the chauvinist in me.

I think so.

My wife kept her last name, as is the tradition in her culture. I seriously considered changing my last name to her family name, since I occasionally answer the phone and folks are looking for a Peter Chang. I thought it would be a cool, rude awakening to some that don't like things "outside their box."

But I figured my dad would not understand nor appreciate my appeal for pooh-poohing traditions, so I didn't go though with it.

Maybe someday I will.

[Tahoe Ocean]

My husband is from a huge portuguese family and when his great grandfather died, his great grandmother married a close friend who was willing to change his name to theirs for the sake of the children from the man who'd died, and they raised two more kids under that name. That was in the depression. He has been thought of as gallant for changing his name.

[leykis1o1]

Ummm......no..nada ..not happening

[lllosingit]

Its Only a name, My mom has 11 brothers and sisters and after all my cousins have married and had kids, the list of names in the family looks like a phone book but we all have the same Grand Parents.
If I were asked to change my name, I would compromise and add her name on to mine.

[leykis1o1]

well we all have our own personal laws and regulations mine say ....NO

[Tersname]

In my hometown my last name is sort of a dynasty. 11 family members have their own business and the family name has been in the same city since 1907, when the first train tracks were put down there.
Many people I dont even know ask if Im related to ______ and most of the time I have to say yes.
I believe my children will have a sort of advantage to grow up in a city of 100,000 where it seems 25% of the locals know your last name and associate good business with it.
Otherwise, if my fiance had no brothers I would consider it seeing as I have two brothers.

By the way I have over 30 first cousins, 21 in my hometown.

[slipknottin]

The way I see it... If you plan on havings kids then you should stick with the males name. Tradition, keeping your name going, whatever the reason, its just easier and more common.

If you dont plan on having kids, then I see no reason to go with the man's name.

[seaofdunes]

i'm a teen can you tell...

depends what she looks like. I might even bark like a dog...

[leykis1o1]

does anyone here know the story behind the tradition why the woman changes her last name?

[dc]

lol, probably in the olden days, she bacame his property.

[lilbuddy]

For the men: would you take your bride's last name instead of vice versa?

No I wouldn't.....I feel the male must carry on the family name. I know a family where all the females don't have middle names this way when they marry their maiden name becomes their middle name.

[leykis1o1]

thats right in the olden days she became his property and because she became his property and in respect she took his last name......

[oz]

When we first got married, my wife reluctantly began using my last name. But she ran into so many problems (she says ), with employer's benefits, with insurance, etc. So she gave up and went back to using her mainden name.

I didn't mind.

But now, whenever like I take the dogs to the vet, its a problem.
Everyone always get confused as to which last name the files are under, etc.

And I always has to explain, yes she's my wife but she's usind her mainden name, etc.

Our kids use my last name (ofcourse) and wife's mainden name as middle name.