How to simulate the life of a teenager

[Putawaywet]

- Stand with refrigerator door wide open starring aimlessly inside for several minutes. Look disgusted that you can't find anything to eat.

- When asked to take out the trash be sure to grab only the bag and not the pizza boxes propped up against it. Act annoyed when parents ask you to make 2nd trip to get rid of boxes.

- Yell "I got it" really loud when phone rings while racing thru the house at a full sprint. Be sure to yell equally loud "it's not for me" while standing next to unanswered phone after you discover the caller I.D. is not one of your friends.

- Argue that wearing the same pants to school for five straight days is no big deal. Act disappointed when you discover that your favorite shirt hasn't been laundered yet.

- When asked if you have homework always explain that you got it done in school. Act confused and surprised when the warning notice comes in the mail advising of failing grades. Get angry and explain that your teacher has it "in" for you.

- Walk thru the house with your eyes closed. Be sure to kick or trip over everything that isn't nailed down. Step on cat several times just for the fun of it. Blame cat.

- Be sure to wait until Sunday evening to tell parents about the special supplies you need for your class on Monday.

- Make sure when the milk carton is empty you put it back in the fridge instead of the trash. Set empty milk glass on counter top instead of with the rest of the dirty dishes in the sink.

- Wait until parents get home from store and are unloading groceries to remind them you are out of cereal.

- Commit all phone messages to memory instead of paper. Be prepared to recite only half of message for parents when they get home.

- Train your bladder to need a bathroon only when someone else is in it. Knock firmly on door and yell "hurry up" with the urgency of the house being on fire.

- Complain for weeks that you can't wait for school break. Complain on first day of break that you are bored and there is nothing to do.

- Pretend you are listening to a foreign language tape when confronted with questions by your parents. "Why did you leave your dirty clothes on the floor?" "I left dirty clothes on the floor?" "Did you leave the mess on the bathroom counter?" "There's a mess on the bathroom counter?"

- When told you can have 1 hour on the internet act surprised when parents discover timer is not running. Earn extra points by shaking timer as if it's malfunctioning.

- When member of opposite sex calls on phone declare repeatedly that they are "just a friend from school." Make sure you become irritated when parents get within earshot while you are talking to your "friend" on the phone. Act like your parents are clueless about your social life when you suddenly turn up going to school dance with your "friend."

- When asked how the dance was be sure to reply "it was OK" When asked if you actually danced be sure to look at parents like they just asked you to donate a kidney.

- Explain that re-using a bath towel is gross. Argue that putting on the same t-shirt you were wearing befor you showered is perfectly normal.

- Be sure to leave the light on in every room you exit. But make sure you always turn off lights in any room currently occupied by another family member. Act surprised and explain you didn't see them when they yell at you.

[BigSkyBart]

so many truths

[crp]

Originally posted by Putawaywet
-- When asked to take out the trash be sure to grab only the bag and not the pizza boxes propped up against it. Act annoyed when parents ask you to make 2nd trip to get rid of boxes.

AND make sure you don't replace the bag in the trash can until you are told to every single time. Man, parents think you are a mind reader.


My teenage boy has done every single one of these. Why is it against the law to kill them?

[marie]

Originally posted by crp



My teenage boy has done every single one of these. Why is it against the law to kill them?

Yea, whatever happened to the "I brought you into this world and I can take you out again" saying

[dinoman]

Originally posted by crp
AND make sure you don't replace the bag in the trash can until you are told to every single time. Man, parents think you are a mind reader.

Isn't that your job?!

Way it works in our house, I pack out the kitchen garbage because it's heavy and mom brings the rest, and while I'm burning it all she replaces the bags. You people sure are picky!

[BrianD]

"pack out"?

[crp]

Hey Brian, is it raining?

[dinoman]

Originally posted by BrianD
"pack out"?

Saying I talk funny?

[heyfredyourhat]

Those are awesome. I can still remember the good old days like it was yesterday! I am pretty fresh out of the teenage years so those hit home pretty good. So true, so funny.

[BrianD]

Originally posted by crp
Hey Brian, is it raining?

Pouring. It is a torrential downpour, and the wind is very strong. We are trying to decide what to do today, since Maui is out.

[pnosko]

If it was snow, you could at least have fun. Sorry.

[Toddrtrex]

Wow, those all would pretty much fit for my Ex wife.