Wedding gift-giving etiquette

AdidaKev · #1 06/22/2006, 08:29 AM

My friend is getting married on Saturday. I went to her bridal shower a few weeks ago and got her a few gifts from her registry. Do I still have to bring another gift to the wedding, or should that be enough? I was thinking about writing the couple a check or something, but I don't know if it would be necessary since I got her a gift at the shower.

Anyone have any ideas on what I should do?

crzy4reefs · #2 06/22/2006, 08:30 AM

In my cases i always just wrote a check for the wedding. i think that's what most people do, they usually give a gift at the wedding only if they didn't attend the bridal shower

crp · #3 06/22/2006, 08:44 AM

In our area, a gift is usually given at the bridal shower and then a check at the wedding.

dc · #4 06/22/2006, 08:46 AM

I've always gave a gift at both. Usually a personal gift at the bridal shower and a joint gift at the wedding.

witfull · #5 06/22/2006, 08:49 AM

a check is fine if a gift is given at the shower. Italian weddings that is the norm. in chinese weddings also.

but, at the housewarming, its best to give a gift both will use or as ive seen it best, 2 separate gifts (of lesser monetary value, but appropriate for home usage) for him and her. example (i always forget if its E.G. or I.E.,,,lol) a small kitchen appliance for her and garage stuff for him.

andycook · #6 06/22/2006, 09:28 AM

Do you get all of that stuff back if the couple splits within a year?

oz · #7 06/22/2006, 09:29 AM

IMO, a wedding invitation carries with it an obligation to send a gift, even if you cannot attend the actual wedding.

And a shower gift does not satisfy your wedding gift requirement. You have to give both, unless the bride says otherwise.

dc · #8 06/22/2006, 09:40 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by andycook
Do you get all of that stuff back if the couple splits within a year?

You should. You notice everything at a registry is usually for the bride?

Wonder how many guys actually go and pick out all that junk? Now if they registered at a hardware store.

emilye2 · #9 06/22/2006, 09:44 AM

Huh. See I'm the exact opposite. I always figured wedding gifts were for those not invited to the shower. I would go with a nice card and a thoughtful note for the wedding if I gave a gift at the shower. My best friend is getting married in Sept. I went to her shower and got a gift off the registry and I'm in her wedding party. So that would be a shower gift, the cost of the dress, cost of various wedding dinners etc, AND a wedding gift? I've known this girl since before third grade but I'm not made out of money. She'll get a nice card or maybe a nice framed picture of them for the actual wedding gift.

witfull · #10 06/22/2006, 09:47 AM

wedding shower=her

bachelor party=drunken orgy

wedding=gift/cash

housewarning=the last thing you will ever get from me

DHyslop · #11 06/22/2006, 09:52 AM

Holy cow.

I'm getting married this summer, and if all this is true I'm really gonna clean up!

Dan

crp · #12 06/22/2006, 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by DHyslop
Holy cow.

I'm getting married this summer, and if all this is true I'm really gonna clean up!

Dan

Dan you get nothing

It's all for the bride!

dc · #13 06/22/2006, 09:58 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by DHyslop
Holy cow.

I'm getting married this summer, and if all this is true I'm really gonna clean up!

Dan

Dream on buddy!!

Personally with what you spend on a wedding you could buy all the crap you get and just throw a party. That's what we did.

AdidaKev · #14 06/22/2006, 10:20 AM

Thanks everyone! Looks like a check it is.

TheBimbo · #15 06/22/2006, 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by crp
Dan you get nothing It's all for the bride!

Ya took the words right outta my fingers

... If you're lucky she'll let you borrow something...

Christy...

dc · #16 06/22/2006, 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by TheBimbo
Ya took the words right outta my fingers ... If you're lucky she'll let you borrow something...

Christy...

Only if he can cook or clean the house!

asphaltpilot · #17 06/22/2006, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by oz
IMO, a wedding invitation carries with it an obligation to send a gift, even if you cannot attend the actual wedding.

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but since when is someone obligated to send a gift, under any circumstance? We as a society are way too spoiled and assume too much.

Passing out invites with any intention of getting gifts is no better than looting.

Just my 2 cents.

eckrynock · #18 06/22/2006, 11:29 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by dc
Only if he can cook or clean the house!

Isn't that what the sword is for?

TheBimbo · #19 06/22/2006, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by eckrynock
Isn't that what the sword is for?

ouch!!!

Christy...

Minuteman · #20 06/22/2006, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by dc
I've always gave a gift at both. Usually a personal gift at the bridal shower and a joint gift at the wedding.

Isn't that illegal... doper?

Minuteman · #21 06/22/2006, 11:41 AM

eckrynock · #22 06/22/2006, 11:44 AM

dc · #23 06/22/2006, 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by asphaltpilot
I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but since when is someone obligated to send a gift, under any circumstance? We as a society are way too spoiled and assume too much.

Passing out invites with any intention of getting gifts is no better than looting.

Just my 2 cents.

I agree. Of course there are those few that are happy just to see you show up.

dc · #24 06/22/2006, 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by lbrty9
Isn't that illegal... doper?

You obviously don't know the kind of weddings I go to!

dc · #25 06/22/2006, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by eckrynock
Isn't that what the sword is for?

Must be why Dan can't cook. I don't have a sword. We'll have to work on that!