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#1
03/23/2007, 05:10 PM
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Man i love telemarketers.
I need to figure out how to tape these idiots.
In a stong Indian accent, "Hello, may i speak with Theresa?" Who? "Theresa" I'm sorry, who? "theresa" Can you spell that for me? "i'm calling from (insert BS financial institution here)." I'm sorry, where? "BS financial institution..." where's that? "I'm sorry?" I said, where is that? "um....it's...(don't tell him you're in india....) it's in california." Really? California? "yes" Wow, i've always wanted to go to California. How's the weather? "I'm sorry?" I said, how's the weather there? "um...ha ha (litterally said ha ha.) It's fine, i guess." Is it raining there? "I'm sorry?" I said, is it raining there? It's been raining here all day.. "I'm calling about your mortgage rate." My what? "Your mortgage rate. I show here you have a mortgage." No, i have student loans though. "no, i'm calling about your mortgage rate. I show that it's 5%." 5%? That's pretty good. I really got a good deal. I think my student loans are just a little better than that.... Jerked this twit around for about 20 minutes before she finally hung up on me.
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You haven't got time to make them all yourself. |
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#2
03/23/2007, 05:18 PM
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That's classic, I should pull something like that. I've noticed that whenever a telemarketer calls there's a 3-4 second delay before they pick up. So I just wait until they pick-up and then I hang up.
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#3
03/23/2007, 05:26 PM
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This may be a repost (or not), but -- I don't care!!! Long, but worth it.
Conan's take on outsourcing
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"The moment we want to believe something, we suddenly see all the arguments for it, and become blind to the arguments against it." -- George Bernard Shaw |
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#4
03/23/2007, 05:31 PM
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Here's some more ideas. You choose the method depending on your mood. Sometimes you just want to let them know what you think of them, other times you just want to mess with them as long as you can. My record is (i kid you not) 45 minutes.
http://telemarketing-system.blogspot...marketers.html **** is for urinate, micturate, or pass water....
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You haven't got time to make them all yourself. Last edited by hubris007; 03/23/2007 at 05:46 PM. |
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#5
03/23/2007, 05:33 PM
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Quote:
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Travis Stevens |
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#6
03/23/2007, 05:49 PM
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lmao... good ones... I had one today that I just tried to be really nice to, but NOOO he just had to keep on going and going on and on...Finally I laid the phone down and turned the sweeper on... Hey I had told him that I was busy cleaning
 ...i do try to be polite, but then there are the ones that just won't Stop!!! But the ones that are the worst are the Betty's and Bob's from California, yeah right... Christy... 
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i look damn good in it too, i'll have you know- Nina... Look at all those forced smiles. They probably all hate each other!- Debi... She can kick all their butts and can write her name in the snow in cursive!- CRP... so...what are you wearing...? panties...? lace panties...? that's what I'm wearing - ScubaDave and the telemarketer... Life can be short, just like me... Live it to the fullest!!! Family is always there for you NO matter what, just like a "true friend" would be... A cheat is a cheat, and are always busted... |
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#7
03/23/2007, 05:55 PM
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I usually just keep saying Hello like I can't hear them
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#8
03/23/2007, 05:55 PM
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i like the bit in ''boiler room" when the kid answers the phone, a guy trying to sell newspapaer subscriptions... "thats it, thats your pitch?" or nearly that..
personally, iv told the door to door security system sales people,... something to the effect that; your system is worth how much? and all i have to do is pay x per year for monitoring? so your basically givimg me x dollars in stuff? well, how bout you give me 10 bucks cash and you can put your sign in my yard and keep your expensive equipment.... heh, no takers yet... otherwise , on unsolicited sales calls,, cold calls. i politly interupt the pitch and tell them that we have a fee for unsolicited sales calls , and if they can take a minute to provide some billing information i would be glad to listen to the pitch for a nominal fee of a dollar a minute... , no takers on that either, but one guy did have the next cubicle over call me right back so he could hear ... |
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#9
03/23/2007, 05:56 PM
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Simply awesome.
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Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapeños. What you do today might burn your (behind) tomorrow. |
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#10
03/23/2007, 06:05 PM
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this one's good. I'm definately in a bad mood. Actually hope another one calls me tonight.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blim0...elated&search=
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Learn from the mistakes of others. You haven't got time to make them all yourself. |
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#11
03/23/2007, 06:13 PM
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AHHHHAAAAHHHHHAAAA
Christy...
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i look damn good in it too, i'll have you know- Nina... Look at all those forced smiles. They probably all hate each other!- Debi... She can kick all their butts and can write her name in the snow in cursive!- CRP... so...what are you wearing...? panties...? lace panties...? that's what I'm wearing - ScubaDave and the telemarketer... Life can be short, just like me... Live it to the fullest!!! Family is always there for you NO matter what, just like a "true friend" would be... A cheat is a cheat, and are always busted... |
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#12
03/23/2007, 11:39 PM
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Before I got on the DO NOT CALL LIST, I used to breathe heavy and make lewd, sexually suggestive remarks with the telemarketer,,, they usually hung up after asking if they wore a thong.
Worked even quicker to get rid of male telemarketers. 
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A wise man never has all the answers... just more questions. This above all else... the true warrior prays for peace. AMERICAN by birth... SOUTHERN by the Grace Of God! |
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#13
03/24/2007, 12:53 AM
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When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. |
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#14
03/24/2007, 04:51 AM
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Quote:
even though i'm on the do not call list, occasionally one slips through. when they ask for me, i just say "sorry, she's deceased." usually they just hang up but once i had a guy who was almost in tears by the time i explained the horrible death nina endured. 
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of all the things i've lost, i miss my gary the most. |
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#15
03/24/2007, 05:04 AM
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awwwwww poor nina I've asked for newspapers and or magazines in braille for "blind bart" when a print product sales call would make it's way in... once someone said they could provide the braille print material... oops, I had to tell them the same explosion that caused my blindness took off both hands, I needed stumpy braille... that "stumped" them
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as scary as it may be, bart and i are very similar in our opinions of this topic ~jpfelix HEY! I lost it first ~CRP There is no "Brain" in "Brian." ~Beerguy |
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#17
03/24/2007, 12:02 PM
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I love telemarketers too! This happened a couple months ago.
These people just don't know how to quit. the phone rings... Hello "Hello sir I am representing .... travel company and was wondering if you would like me to send you some brocheres. Would you and your wife be interested in taking a vacation?" my wife? "yes sir" Na I caught my wife in bed with another man about 6 weeks ago. I don't have a wife anymore. "sir I am so sorry. Could I interest you in a vacation for you and your girlfriend?" My Girlfriend? After walking in on my wife and her boyfriend do you think I am in any shape to have a girlfriend? "well sir, we are offering very low fares to hawaii. Would you be interested?" well, my wife and her lawyer got together and gave me the wrong end of the stick. I not only have to pay her alimony but I also have to pay child support for our 3 kids, whom I just found out today aren't even mine. Now all I can do is work and barely scrape by living in a motel while she and her rich banker boyfriend are on vactation. Come to think of it they are in Hawaii now. "sorry sir for your troubles" -end of conversation Come to think of it, her
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Just when I thought you couldn't be any dumber you go and do something like this....And totally redeem yourself! |
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#18
03/24/2007, 12:52 PM
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This is by far the best prank I have ever heard played on a telemarketer. NOTE: some mild language if you would be offended by that then be warnedhttp://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=30501525&blogID=184862433&MyToken=b0c1af11-f9ad-4602-994a-55ffd4023b74
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#19
03/24/2007, 07:58 PM
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When they call asking for someone and I know its a telemarketer from callerID I tell them that "Soandso has died" whether its me, my husband, or a wrong number and try to play the "can you remove them from your list" routine
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You lookin' at my wrasse? |
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