My wife poured teriyaki sauce into my tank

[jbeltmann]

VIrginiadiver, the divorce rate is 50% if not maybe a little higher, but definately not 5%. Even if you remarry you have a 75% for a second divorce! Thats why I am in no hurry.

On a serious note though I would definitely involve the police in some sort of complaint that way you can start a paper trail that will be beneficial for you down the road if you do pursue a divorce. I hope your tank pulls through, I know it takes a lot a devotion to have a successful tank. Best of luck with both outcomes.

[pink panther]

WHOA!
I don't even know what to say.....thats is horrible!
I am a female, and cant even believe that! Girls like that give us other good ones bad names.........

[virginiadiver69]

Originally posted by jbeltmann
VIrginiadiver, the divorce rate is 50% if not maybe a little higher, but definately not 5%. Even if you remarry you have a 75% for a second divorce! Thats why I am in no hurry.

Just because a lie is repeated over and over with nothing to back it up with does not make it true.
The divorce rate in the U.S. topped at just over 5% in the early 80's and has fallen since then down to just over 3%(3.6% to be exact). This is the lowest it has been since the late 50's. I am aware that these "studies" are often skewed but the 50% number was a red herring that stemmed from this statement; The Americans for Divorce Reform estimates that "Probably, 40 or possibly even 50 percent of marriages will end in divorce if current trends continue. However, that is only a projection and a prediction."

[PrivateJoker64]

Originally posted by virginiadiver69
Just because a lie is repeated over and over with nothing to back it up with does not make it true.
The divorce rate in the U.S. topped at just over 5% in the early 80's and has fallen since then down to just over 3%(3.6% to be exact). This is the lowest it has been since the late 50's. I am aware that these "studies" are often skewed but the 50% number was a red herring that stemmed from this statement; The Americans for Divorce Reform estimates that "Probably, 40 or possibly even 50 percent of marriages will end in divorce if current trends continue. However, that is only a projection and a prediction."

Virginiadiver69, you are comparing apples to oranges. You are describing the ANNUAL divorce rate, i.e, the rate PER YEAR at which divorces occur.
The overall percentage of marriages which end in divorce is what everyone else is refering to.
Here's a quote-
"50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce, according to Jennifer Baker of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri.”
That said - dude, run for the hills before she decides to poison YOU! Get out while you can!

[virginiadiver69]

Well I guess if Jennifer Baker says so it must be true. Yes, I guess I was referring to the annual vs overall. Overall you are looking at a # ESTIMATED to be 17%-20%. Like I said the 50% ESTIMATE was a projection based on current trends. If you stop getting your opinions from headlines and dig a little you may find out things are not as dire as you may think.

[Tang Salad]

It's common to see threads where people overreact, but this one definitely takes the cake.

Sue her? Arrest her? Hit her? Chop her up and feed her to the pigs? Get a grip, folks!

It's hard to tell here who thinks they're being funny and who is actually serious.

[jman77]

if you have no kids...cut and run.... She crazy enough to do this now...well, this is a teaser of whats to come

[davidryder]

http://www.divorcemag.com/statistics/statsUS.shtml

[Tang Salad]

Is it at all possible that this woman perhaps maybe didn't know everything most of us know about reef tank chemistry?

Perhaps it was just a knee-jerk empassioned response, and she didn't have the knowledge or foresight to imagine the consequences.

I think everyone just needs to take a deeeeeep breath now.

[reefermike1]

personally id cancel her. although its probably alot your fault, im thinking u must be somewhat of a pushover for her to feel like she could do something like that and get away with it. my wife would know better. no offense to u but u gotta keep them in check or they will try to completely run your life

[davidryder]

Originally posted by reefermike1
personally id cancel her. although its probably alot your fault, im thinking u must be somewhat of a pushover for her to feel like she could do something like that and get away with it. my wife would know better. no offense to u but u gotta keep them in check or they will try to completely run your life

This exemplifies the term teamwork

Cancel her? hahahaha

[Reefer Steve]

nail her favorite shoes to the floor
replace birthcontrol with sweettarts if aplicable

[Aquaticman74]

Originally posted by Tang Salad
Is it at all possible that this woman perhaps maybe didn't know everything most of us know about reef tank chemistry?

Perhaps it was just a knee-jerk empassioned response, and she didn't have the knowledge or foresight to imagine the consequences.

I think everyone just needs to take a deeeeeep breath now.

Are you a female?

[Reefer Steve]

oh yeh
is she greek or italian?

[Sk8r]

Sorry. Divorce. An abusive spouse is an abusive spouse, and that's right up there with the guy who out and out belts his wife one---you wouldn't be saying 'patch it up' if it was some woman with a black eye; and this is just way over the line of domestic argument. When you take overt action and commit mayhem and destruction, be it against the spouse's person, or against a pet or cherished possession, that's beyond a little domestic tiff, burned bacon and door-slamming, and that hands-on hatefulness factor is not tolerable in a marriage.

[tangy2]

Originally posted by Reefer Steve
nail her favorite shoes to the floor
replace birthcontrol with sweettarts if aplicable

Don't mess up the birth control!!! You shouldn't have any kids with this girl!

[dragonforce]

Originally posted by HBtank
If you do not have kids, cut and run.

x2 dont look back

[ihopss]

Try spending a little more time with her, let her add a few things to the tank and she would not be so to destroy it .

[SethSPST]

I just told my wife about this and she was shocked. She can get fed up w/ all my tank talk sometimes, but she stills enjoys the tank and understands how sensitive saltwater life is.

[kathainbowen]

Ok, let's look at this realistically.

Do you still have feelings for her and a desire to continue to be in a relationship with your wife, despite an argument and potential tank KATO at the hands of a jealous woman?

If so, seek either professional counseling or mediation. It sounds very much like your wife doesn't understand the amount of attention and dedicated care a reef tank needs, seeing the care that a tank demands as loving it more than her. That's not uncommon for someone to have no idea what it takes to maintain a reef tank, particularly if you have a smaller one (often misconstued as being easier!) By bringing to light the demands of a reef tank, perhaps you could show her not necessarily that you don't love her as much as the tank, but more that the tank demands attention.

Now, I know many people are saying that she attempted to hurt your fish, and I don't believe in hurting fish. I do agree that what she did was wrong.... really wrong. I'm not saying that in your shoes I would necessarily want to forgive a spouse who tried to hurt any of my pets. If that's the case, then do not pass go, do not collect $200, go directly to a reputable divorce lawyer to begin motions.

Either way, I wish you the best of luck. Just do some really good water changes to get things back to ship shape... and always use any excuse possible to get a bigger tank!

[Theexp]

Padlock on the hood, and cabinets...if you try to start a new tank with her.
Hope it all works out for you and good luck with everything.

[Der_Iron_Chef]

I think it's irrational to pass judgment when none of us know what the argument was about, or what precipitated it. Or maybe it was talked about and I just missed it?

If anyone here has been in a heated argument with a spouse or partner, we can probably all agree that things are said that we don't mean and fully regret later, when the blood goes from boiling to simmer. To divorce your wife (much less chop her up or throw her out the window) for pouring terriyaki sauce in your aquarium is absurd.

If my spouse did the same, you can be DAMN sure there would be repercussions! But you can also be damn sure it wouldn't be divorce or dismemberment.

It's my humble opinion that relationships have become so disposable in our society, and we often bolt at the first sign of trouble, ignoring elements of the relationship that make it valuable and worth working hard to save.

Now, having said that, the superglue in the butt cheeks suggestions REALLY made me laugh!

[virginiadiver69]

Originally posted by Der_Iron_Chef
Now, having said that, the superglue in the butt cheeks suggestions REALLY made me laugh!

Could this be considered cutting of your own nose to spite your face?

[old95er]

That is not a good sign.

Counseling starting tomorrow would be a start. . .

beyond the emotional damage, she has done your family a financial diservice. You are obviously going to restock, so she has cost you money.

Divorce is a pathetic suggestion. You made a commitment "until you are parted by death" That should not be taken lightly.

You two clearly have some major communication issues that must be resolved, or you will be miserable.

I am very sorry to hear about this tragedy. If you work through it, you will endure.

[Der_Iron_Chef]

Originally posted by virginiadiver69
Could this be considered cutting of your own nose to spite your face?

Naw. I just think the concept of gluing someone's butt cheeks together to be very funny. Ridiculous, but funny. :-)