Just got bad news about 10 min ago

[lilbuddy]

I debated posting this, its kind of personal but about 99% of you guys wouldn't know me if you saw me on the street.

My wife and I were expecting our new addition to the family latter this summer. We just got a call from the doctor and found out she had a miscarriage. Of course we are both devastated and asked why us, what god would do this to us..... Well its the same god that gave me my beautiful son that we have now. I guess Im posting this to find out who else has gone through this. She was 3 months along. We will try again...and again till we can add our new addition. This is just a real slap in the face. I dont think I have ever felt so .... just disappointed.... Im still at work and am going to wrap it up for the day so I can be with my wife. I just dont know how to deal with this..... Is there really a right way to feel. Im confused, angry, hurt, curious....Trying not to cry at work.

Im sorry if this post has made some of you feel uncomfortable but I just had to express what im feeling now. If the mods or admins feel this in a inappropriate thread please delete it, I will fully understand.

I was really looking forward to posting " look at my new frag".....

Mike

[thefushman]

Sorry to here that lillbuddy
It must be very difficult

[MiddletonMark]

I wish you were posting `look at my new frag' too

Never know what to say when bad things happen to good people, but thanks for sharing it with us. I appreciate it when people are `real' ... and hope that we can send some of the positivity you always give out here back to you.

Take care, Mike [and your wife, too]

[DiLLy]

Really sorry to hear about that Mike.. Ya'll have my condolences. My mom went through something similar.. I was the first child, and my brother was a still birth.. Although I never really went through any difficult times, since I was so young.. It was still hard for my mother. She said it took some time, but like you said.. this was God's choice.. he obviously has some other plans for you all. I guess what I'm trying to get at... if that brother would've been born.. I would've probably not had the brother I have to this day. Take care.. its a hard thing to deal with at first.. as is every situation dealing with life/death.. There's no right or wrong way to handle it.. only time will heal.

-Dylan

[REEFnR6]

The Lord called me before my birth; from within the womb He called me by name.
Isaiah 49:1

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Matthew 5:4

We all mourn with you Mike. PM me if you need to talk.

[c_lou]

I can sympathize with your situation. Earlier this year my wife and I went through the same thing. It was hard to get through. But at that time, I thanked god for the little one we had. Be thankful for your son. Give him a big hug and kiss and tell him you love him.

[Mariner]

My wife and I went through this in 1985. She could still tell you the exact date. It is really a blow...difficult to handle. We went on to have two more beautiful daughters -- the oldest is a senior in high school now.
I've found that the reasons God allows certain things to happen maybe difficult for mere mortals to grasp, but His wisdom and goodness are beyond question. We never know what might have happened to a child or a mother had the miscarriage not occurred. We never know what impact, for good or ill, an unlived life might have had. But I think there is Someone who does know. My prayer is that His comfort and healing will be with you and your wife.
God bless,
Mariner

[Q-ball]

Some believe there's a reason for everything in life...I'm still deciding on that one myself. Regardless, you've got my sympathies Mike. Good positive thoughts headed your way,

Q!!!

[jun_celis]

lilbuddy,

I'm so sorry to hear about what happened. A little bit over 2 years ago my wife had a miscarriage too. She was about 2 1/2 mos far. We have a 4 yr old boy then when this happened. I think it's okay to feel that way because if I can remember, I felt that way too. I didn't know what to do but pray for his/her soul. Anyway, so much for the sad story, the happy ending is, HE(God) gave us another chance(a baby girl, now 21 mos) and another one coming up in May 2004. Just believe in HIM. HE works in misterious ways.

[Jamesurq]

Sorry to hear that lilbuddy. I can imagine how you're feeling now - as Qball said - there's a reason for everything. Not sure that makes anything better - but it's an excuse to go on in life and to pick yourself up and try again.

God bless

[Melody]

So very sorry to hear that Lilbuddy. Please give your wife plenty of TLC and you guys hang tight. I had a miscarriage August 11th and it was one of the most devastating things to go through. I have to believe that God had other plans for our little angel. My prayers are with you and your family.

[pi]

Sorry man! We lost a baby several years ago. We were on vacation and my wife started hemoraging. We called the HMO to get permission to go to the hospital, but they said "no" that it is normal. Over the next 5 days the bleeding got heavier and heavier until one morning I heard a scream from the bathroom.... Wow, I cannot begin to describe how devastating it was.

A HMO that would not allow a out of service hospital visit, a house full of 17 people - some complete strangers, a strange town, a mad dash to the hospital, a 911 call to get help. (Thank God for the firemen who came to our rescue!)

We had just started to share the wonderful news with friends and family.

Your days will get better and I wish you all the hope and happiness in this bad time.

Paul

[drtherc]

God be with you, Mike. Some day, the reason will become clear.
Take care of your wife, she'll still go through the hormonal changes, and that'll be rough. Be the strong one, my friend.

[Markk96]

Mike,

I am very sorry to hear this news. Be strong for your wife and you both will get past this.

[BrianD]

[wizardgus®]

So sorry to hear this Mike. Take care of your family and yourself and good thoughts and wishes sent your way. FWIW, we're always happy to share your good news, no reason for us not to share in the bad.

[TheBimbo]

I have also been down this road, 6 years ago. It was a terrible thing to go through. Thankfully my husband, my son and daughter were there to be my support. It was horrible, and you always heard the same " I'm so sorry, I know how you must feel". I now know that you get only what you can handle in life. You go and be with your wife and comfort her. I know this is hard but it will get easier. We tried again, now we have a 5 year old daughter.

[Habib]

Mike:

I'm very sorry to hear that.

We had the same thing exept that it would have been out first child.

The only comfort, and was only a minor comfort, we had was that there is often a very good natural reason for a miscarriage. Something might have been very wrong and results in a natural miscarriage.

I wish you and your family a lot of strength in this very difficult and highly emotional period.

[lilbuddy]

I have to believe that God had other plans for our little angel

I just told this to my wife about an hour ago at the doctors office. I think he/she takes the little ones for his angels.


Thanks everyone for all the kind words. I know Im not alone and in time this will not seem as bad. Im at home now and my little boy is with me, he is almost 2. I look at him and am thankful that god gave him to me.

Again I thank all of you so much for your words...they mean more than you guys know. This board is just amazing....well I mean the members are amazing....Please keep my wife in your prayers as she will go in for the full removal Thursday a.m. I cant imagine the pain she is going trough.

Mike

[grostanzo]

lilbuddy,

So sorry to hear of your loss. I have no personal experience of it but, my mother had 2 miscarriages before I was born.
Our thoughts are with you and your family.

Sincerely,
Gina and Mark

[dc]

Life seems cruel sometimes, so sorry to hear this.

[Wee Man]

sorry man.

howard stern gives good insights to this experience in his movie private parts.

he says that something wasnt right and that it was natural for the body to reject what was going wrong. he says that it just means your wifes body is healthy.(i hope you dont find this offensive coming out of howard stern though).but im no gynochologist and i dont think stern is but it sounds accurate to me.

[lilbuddy]

i hope you dont find this offensive coming out of howard stern though

no offense taken. I actually thought about that movie today. At least my wife is going to get the procedure done to have the fetus removed. Some people have this happen to them on the toilet like Howards wife did. I couldn't imagine the pain and disbelief his family went through.

and to all that have responded... your kind words are extremely appreciated. Good news is this has not discouraged us from trying again. My wife just told me she wants to try again as soon as the doctor says its ok.

[TheBimbo]

Having gone through the exact same thing, my husband and I really became a lot closer. I believe that a man can be in as much pain from such a terrible loss. I bet we are all going to give our little ones an extra kiss tonight.

[Nanook]

Mike, I am very sorry to hear about your loss. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Hang in there.

Dave