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#1
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Holiday Rules
1. About carrot sticks. Avoid them. Anyone who puts carrots on a
holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls. 2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an egg-nogaholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas! 3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat. 4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission. 5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello? Remember college? 6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Years. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog. 7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. You can't leave them behind. You're not going to see them again. 8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day? 9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards, mate. 10. And one final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips. Start over. But hurry! Cookieless January is just around the corner
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-- Carrie -- Oh shut up, and kiss my fairy wrasse. ~Gawain1974~ silly girls make stuff hard ~drauka99~ |
#2
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We made rum balls yesterday. I got a good laugh out of the recipe. It said "3 tbsp rum". Yeah right.
Oh, and has anyone tried that Evan Williams egg nog. Sounds gross, and I don't like egg nog, but that stuff is good. |
#3
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Quote:
Steve |
#4
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1. What the heck is a rum ball? I don't eat carrots, they're under that label of "lizard food" for me.
2. I've never had eggnog - heck, I'm not even sure what egg nog exactly looks like. Not something my family does, and from what I've heard of it, not missing a whole lot . 3. I don't like gravy.....or mashed potatoes (you can even ask Hattie ). 4. Again...the more mashed taters everybody else takes...the more good food is left for me.
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Support the National Bone Marrow Registry "And who could have ever guess that Dino is apparently the smartest man on the planet?" - jgoodrich71 |
#5
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Dino is weird
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Does the search engine make Carrie's butt look big? - BrianD “The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything.” - Friedrich Nietzsche |
#6
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I don't have one for rum balls but I have one for fruit cake:
Fruitcake Recipe > >1 cup water >1 cup sugar >4 large eggs >2 cups dried fruit >1 teaspoon baking soda >1 teaspoon salt >1 cup brown sugar >lemon juice >nuts >1 gallon whiskey > >Sample the whiskey to check for quality. >Take a large bowl. >Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality. >Pour one level cup and drink. >Repeat. >Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large, fluffy bowl. >Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again. >Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry >another tup. >Turn off mixer. >Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. >Mix on the turner. >If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a >drewscriver. >Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity. >Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? >Check the whiskey. >Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. >Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. >Whatever you can find. >Grease the oven. >Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. >Don't forget to beat off the turner. >Throw the bowl out of the window. >Check the whiskey again. >Go to bed. >Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway?
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-- Carrie -- Oh shut up, and kiss my fairy wrasse. ~Gawain1974~ silly girls make stuff hard ~drauka99~ |
#7
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and Rum Cake
RECIPE FOR A RUM CAKE 1 or 2 quarts of Rum 1 c. butter 1 tsp sugar 2 lg eggs 1 c dried fruit 1 tsp soda lemon juice brown sugar nuts baking powder Before you start, sample the rum to check for quality. Now go ahead. Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. Check rum again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup of rum into glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat. With electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add on seaspoon of thugar and beat again. Meanwhhile, make sure thata the rum is still of the finest quality. Try another cup. Open the second quarat if necessary. Add 1 arge leggs, 2 cups fired druit and beat til high. If druit get stuck in beater, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the rum again, check for tonscicticity. Next, shift 3 cusps of peppar or salt (it really doesn't matter which). Sample the rum again. Sift 1/2 pint lemon juice. Fold in chipped butter and strained nuts. Add 1 babblespoon of brown thrgar, or whatever color you can find. Wix mel. Grease the oven and turn cake pan to 350 gredees. Now pour into coven and bake. Check the rum again and go to bed!
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-- Carrie -- Oh shut up, and kiss my fairy wrasse. ~Gawain1974~ silly girls make stuff hard ~drauka99~ |
#8
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My kid lives for egg nog. He gets giddy when it shows up in the stores every fall and just about cries when they stop selling it in January. I can't stand the stuff but he goes through a half gallon every 2 days.
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Doug - v2.0.4 Nuclear winter solves global warming. |
#9
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1. & 2.
swap carrots w/ eggnog. cant stand egg nog, like carrots... 5. the snack is not to keep from over eating , its an excuse to not eat if the food is terrible... this way your not starving... you cant say, "i already ate, not hungry" if your belly is gurgling loudly... |
#10
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Hungarian Rum Balls
7 squares of chocolate (7oz) 1 2/3 c pecans 2/3 c sugar 2 eggs beaten 3 tbsp rum (more if needed)* Melt chocolate over boiling water. Grind pecans. Mix all ingredients in a medium-sized bowl. Refrigerate until hard enough to work with. Form balls. Roll in sprinkles. (I use powdered sugar.) Eat. Keep extras in fridge. *definitely needed |
#11
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What type of chocolate? Bakers or some other type?
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Hermits don't have peer pressure. - Steven Wright |
#12
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We used bakers chocolate. Turned out pretty good - and they were easy to make.
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