Need some advice, especially from MaxxII

Chelsey · #1 02/13/2007, 08:09 PM

I live in a duplex and my neighbors moved in around October 1st or thereabouts. They are probably ~25 and she has a daughter. They fight constantly (well, she yells, I guess it's not fighting if it's one sided). It doesn't matter what time it is, 2:30 am or 11 pm. Sometimes she yells so loud that she wakes me up (I wear earplugs because of her but sometimes I can still hear her). On more than one occassion I have heard her daughter screaming at the top of her lungs and this past weekend she was beating on the wall for about 30 minutes straight. That night her mom started screaming and threw something at him I'm assuming...it hit the wall that I share with them. There have been times where I've heard the kid get hit...the smack has been so loud it comes through my wall.

It should seem easy enough to walk over there or call the landlord or the cops, but since I live in a duplex they'd know it's me. I live by myself and I would not put it past her to make my life a living hell, poison my dog while she's outside going potty, or do something to my house while I'm gone.

What do you guys suggest? They've been going at it for about an hour now and I'm really starting to get aggravated, but I am seriously scared of the girlfriend...she sounds like a force to be reckoned with and the one time I've met her she's been less than friendly. Thanks for any help you can give, and please remember that I'm a girl and I live by myself.

zt444a · #2 02/13/2007, 08:18 PM

IF you are not scared of them, and I am not kidding about that, I'd knocjk and ask her to try and be a bit more quiet.

If that doesn't work, I'd call the landlord and the cops. I'd also make sure my auto and renter's insurance was paid in full. Sounds like you have some real winners for neighbors.

Chelsey · #3 02/13/2007, 08:20 PM

I AM scared of her....he is obviously a chicken (or else I'd hear him yelling back) but she seems like a force to be reckoned with. The problem with doing anything about it is that they would know for sure that it was me.

latazyo · #4 02/13/2007, 08:25 PM

maybe call the kids school and ask them to look into it...they probably have no problem looking into possible abuse case

then they wouldnt know it was you, theyd think it was the school

of course then they'd probably think the kid told and the kid would probalby have it coming

chadfarmer · #5 02/13/2007, 08:27 PM

no comment

Chelsey · #6 02/13/2007, 08:29 PM

Kid is like 3 or 4.

pewter_jean · #7 02/13/2007, 08:30 PM

Chelsey let me tell you, you already know what you need to do.
But I will confirm it. Call the Landlord and let them know what is going on, and the next time they are going at it, call the cops. You would never forgive yourself if something happened to that little girl, and if this lady is that high strung, it is a matter of time. She will get out of control and hurt that child. For your protection, I would make sure my renters insurance is paid up. I would look into some vidio coverage of your car and back yard area, If you does do something to your property, you will have it on tape. Then you will be able to prossecute her. Just make sure to let your landlord know what is going on. You have a right as a renter to live in peace and safty. I know your dog means the world to you. But at this point, in reality, that child living in those conditions is very wrong, and that child should come first.

Letmegrow · #8 02/13/2007, 08:30 PM

Simply call the cops, they will leave it anonymous.
Or leave your house and make the call, or email your mom and have her call Columbias police for you and explain the situation.

I did it 3 days ago on my mexican neighbors, turns out 4 of them had warrants and got arrested.

Letmegrow · #9 02/13/2007, 08:31 PM

The lanlord has nothing to do with it.

Call the cops.

pewter_jean · #10 02/13/2007, 08:40 PM

The reason to let the landlord know is, she more than likely has a lease with them. If nothing is done about this neighbor, and chelsey end up wanting to move to get away from this person, for her safety, and her property that give her the legal loop hole to void her lease. The land lord can do nothing about it. But the landlord need to be informed first, so they have an oportunity to correct the problem.

zt444a · #11 02/13/2007, 08:46 PM

Froma renter's aspect, Rena is spot on.... Chelsey, if there is anyway you could do some video on your car and back yard, I might try that too.

It still sucks to wake up and find your car's tires flattened. You should probably call the cops and the landlord, but in any event, I might try to find a local cop and explain the situation. Maybe they could come around, hear the fighting and knock on the door... might be enough to just shut them up anyhow.

Is the gu next door a drunk? Why is the woman tearing him a new one? Kid shouldn't be around that stuff anyhow.

Kathy55g · #12 02/13/2007, 08:46 PM

I agree. The police are trained to handle situations such as these, and someone needs to protect that child.

Chelsey · #13 02/13/2007, 08:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Letmegrow
Simply call the cops, they will leave it anonymous.
Or leave your house and make the call, or email your mom and have her call Columbias police for you and explain the situation.

I did it 3 days ago on my mexican neighbors, turns out 4 of them had warrants and got arrested.

This lady may be insane but she's not stupid...I share a wall with these people, I'm the only one that could hear them. Regardless, if I do anything these guys will know it's me.

Nanook · #14 02/13/2007, 08:48 PM

I would let her know that she can be very loud at times and it is causing you grief. If she persists after you ask her to "try" to be more respectful, then I would notify the landlord in writing and expect that they will address the situation. If the landlord does not correct the problem, I would look for another place.

I would only involve the police if there was a severe domestic problem that you were worried about the safety of the family living there. The police will not want to get in the middle of a squabble between tenants and unless there is something they can actually take action on, they will not help much.

Just my opinion though.

chadfarmer · #15 02/13/2007, 08:49 PM

when i was there last weekend they fought for over an hour

i was going to walk over there and chelsey didnt want me too.

i heard something bounce off the wall. if you dont do anything dont complain about it.

StupidsReef · #16 02/13/2007, 09:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pewter_jean
The reason to let the landlord know is, she more than likely has a lease with them. If nothing is done about this neighbor, and chelsey end up wanting to move to get away from this person, for her safety, and her property that give her the legal loop hole to void her lease. The land lord can do nothing about it. But the landlord need to be informed first, so they have an oportunity to correct the problem.

Sorry Steve but Rena is dead on point here. I've rented all my life but the last 2 years. If the landlord can not fix the issue Chelsey has the right to void the contract do to her safety.

Chelsey, I understand what your going through. It's not fun and you don't want/need the drama, But their's no real way to avoid all of it. Rena's right with her first post, think about the innocent child in the case here. The child is a lot like your dog, you wouldn't want to see either one hurt. I would first call the landlord, Inform him of the situation and you are calling the police. You have to call the police, But do it when this woman is on her rampage. She will most likely be running off at the mouth when the officer's arrive and towards them. This helps the officer's see how deep the issue is and there more apt to do what they can. Child abuse is NOT taken so lightly, If you are sure the child is be harmed (not just being a spoiled brat) you need to tell the police what you heard going on and trust me they'll take action right away.

Bottom line, Call the landlord & the police and inform both of them.

stlouisguy · #17 02/13/2007, 09:04 PM

Chelsey, I am going to be brutally honest with you here. A problem like this must be dealt with immediately. You should notify, in this order:

1. Division of Family Services
2. Law Enforcement
3. Landlord
4. Lawyer if you feel neccesary fro restraining order

If it was just fighting between two adults, I would say move or live with it as they are not breaking any laws. But when you state that a child has been hurt, hit and possibly in danger of worse, it is not only your responsibility, it is your duty to stop that from happening. As others have said, how could you live with yourself if something happened to her. Do you take a chance at retaliation? Yes. Are there very large people on your side who wouldnt mind a drive out to Columbia if things go bad for you? You bet your *** there is

This is gut check time. This is when you make a turn from child or teenager to adult. It isnt easy doing the right thing. But I know you will.

There isnt an easy answer to this one, only a right answer.

pewter_jean · #18 02/13/2007, 09:06 PM

Instead of Chelsey talking to the lady, who seem to be unpredictable. Chelsey should talk to the guy, and explain to him that their behavior is causing her grief. Let the guy handle his girlfriend. Let them know that, this isn't going to be tolerated any longer. And next time she will have to call the cops. But that child should not be exposed to this. Too many times in the past we hear about this crap going on. But by the time we hear about it, it is way too late. If that girlfriend is bad enough to throw something at the wall where her child was beating the wall, Next time she may throw something at that child. I am speaking from experience. The one thing to consider is maybe that child was banging on the wall hoping to get Chelsey attention. Don't ever underestamate kids, They are smarter and more resoursfull than givin credit for. That is how mine helped me in the past. Not to get in to my past. But I am just saying, Maybe the child was trying to get Chelsey to call for help.

StupidsReef · #19 02/13/2007, 09:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Nanook

I would only involve the police if there was a severe domestic problem that you were worried about the safety of the family living there. The police will not want to get in the middle of a squabble between tenants and unless there is something they can actually take action on, they will not help much.
Just my opinion though.

It's there JOB to get in the middle of it, and they will. I lived in an apartment with an older lonely woman who love to call the police everyday on us. Music & TV to loud to her, Vacuuming in the middle of the day to loud for her My then 2 1/2 years old son laughing to loud. They came out and would say HI to us and then leave. After enough they told her if she called again they would arrest her. She never called on us again.

Nanook · #20 02/13/2007, 09:31 PM

Well, you guys are a bit younger than me

I think if she suspects child abuse, then by all means call the police...they will get the ball rolling. If it is just squabbling between the couple that live there, I would still talk to them first.

If she is not comfortable talking with them, then calling the landlord and police is best and they can help from there.

inwall75 · #21 02/13/2007, 10:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pewter_jean
The one thing to consider is maybe that child was banging on the wall hoping to get Chelsey attention. Don't ever underestamate kids, They are smarter and more resoursfull than givin credit for. That is how mine helped me in the past. Not to get in to my past. But I am just saying, Maybe the child was trying to get Chelsey to call for help.

Rena,

This was exactly my first thought as well.

zt444a · #22 02/13/2007, 11:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by inwall75
Rena,

This was exactly my first thought as well.

She did say the child was 3 or 4 and at that age, scared S*&Tless definately, resourceful, maybe not so much. Doubt the child was banging on the wall out of resourcefulness. More likely it was either boredom or just plain trying to get attention from two people that completely ignore him except when they need someone to blame life's troubles on...

bkh24 · #23 02/13/2007, 11:39 PM

Maybe she is not angry with someone in her duplex but instead is actually throwing things at you for letting FARMER in the neighborhood. I could see here frustration with that. JK. That is a tough situation. Some people are just yellers. If she is hitting a 3-4 year old hard enough for you to hear it though, I would probably notify the police or DFS.No easy solution though.

Reggae Fish · #24 02/14/2007, 12:04 AM

This is not a joke. Call the cops. You're talking about kids!
I don't know what else more to say. Steve's right though. Landlord means nothing. Cops, dfs, cops, dfs

If you're that concerned about your wellbeing, prepare yourself.
However, as I said, there are kids!

inwall75 · #25 02/14/2007, 12:16 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by zt444a
resourceful, maybe not so much.

I really wasn't clear.

I agree with you on the resourcefulness comment. Little kids don't have the ability to process some situations they unfortunately find themselves in. I've seen kids bite, I've seen them throw tantrums, I've seen them throw things, scream, etc. Banging on a wall doesn't seem too far from that IMO.

All of the above are a call for help even though the child cannot mentally explain what they need. They need adults to figure out their needs and fix it for them.