RockTheCasbah!
09/05/2006, 10:48 PM
Everyone, I hope you don't mind a fellow reefer asking you to please pass this message on to as many on your mailing list as possible. It is not a chain letter, nor a joke, but a warning and a way to educate the public about a huge problem in this country that is completely preventable through public education. If it prevents one instance of this devastating brain damage in one child, it is well worth the effort. Please help us spread the word.
Over the years we've experienced many problems with our son Matt (learning disorders, behavior problems, diagnosis of ADD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Bi-Polar, Depression to name a few). We also had to have him hospitalized 2 years ago for threatening to kill me and our family pet. It's been a very frightening roller coaster of a ride raising him, but what's more frightening is that there are at least 40,000 babies born each year in the US with the same disorder our son has.
Matt was diagnosed last month with Alcohol Related Neurodevelopmental Disorder (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome - without the telltale facial features). We knew his birthmother drank alcohol sometimes during the pregnancy but thought what everyone else did about the subject, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome babies are born only to alcoholic women - This is an absolute lie, as we found out the hard way that there is no safe amount of alcohol for a woman to consume while pregnant - even a couple of drinks can be damaging. The March of Dimes website will verify this.
http://www.marchofdimes.com/professionals/14332_1170.asp
In the alcohol exposed children, many don't show real signs of the damage done to their brains until they start school. Most if not all are diagnosed with ADD or ADHD early on, from there, the problems grow, they have learning disorders, behavioral disorders, etc. Some exposed babies are born seemingly fine, others suffer irreversible brain damage (as our son Matt did). Damage can range from slight learning disabilities, all the way to severe mental retardation and even death. Alcohol not only damages the brain (which is the most vulnerable) but can also cause congenital heart defects, and other organ defects. How much damage alcohol in pregnancy can do is varied depending on genetics, how much alcohol was drunk at one time, what time in the pregnancy the alcohol was drunk and so on, it's a roll of the dice and the horrific outcome is not worth the risk - alot like playing Russian Roulette with a baby's life.
Had our son been diagnosed years ago, his chances for emotional healing and adjusting might have been alot better as there are some interventions that can help these kids if it's caught early enough. The doctors and specialists we took him to over the years were not educated about fetal alcohol damage, because no one knew what the problem was, we weren't able to help him. Matt has no concept of handling money, doesn't know what day of the week it is, he doesn't even remember our address and has lived here for almost 10 years, Our daughter is 11 years old, and she's known our address for years.
Our son can learn things and store them in his brain, BUT the pathway (Corpus Collosum) to get to that stored information is damaged, so he quickly "forgets" whatever he learned, if you've ever seen the movie "50 first dates" you'll know what I mean, except he does remember who people are. The only way he can learn simple things is by repeating and repeating the same thing over and over again.
Because our son's thinking is skewed by brain damage, he would get angry when we tried to guide him or give him advice now, so we have to bite our tongues and let whatever's going to happen - happen. It's a horrible situation, but there are thousands of parents going through the same thing. A very large percentage of these kids are adopted children. We found out that is because the birthmothers are usually teenagers who are not only starting to experiment with sex, but also alcohol and sometimes drugs. They drink for months not knowing they're pregnant and are usually in denial about the possibilty of being pregnant. Some will drink all the more excessively to try to abort a child they're not ready for, rarely does that work, more often it just creates a severely brain damaged child. We also learned that alcohol is much more damaging to a developing fetus than street drugs - can you believe that? It is also an issue in non-adopted children as well because many doctors who graduated med school years ago are not even aware of how damaging prenatal exposure can be, and shockingly, some still tell their pregnant patients that it's ok to have one alcoholic drink per day!
Our son is like a 10 to 12 year old inside a 17 year old's body. He has an IQ of 87, almost no impulse control, frustration, rage and anger problems, and seemingly no conscience, all because his birthmother drank while pregnant. Prenatal exposure to alcohol is the leading known preventable cause of mental retardation and birth defects, and there are at least 40,000 babies born each
year with various degrees of brain damage from prenatal consumption of alcohol in this country alone.
Many of these affected kids leave home around the same age as Matt did because they don't have the capacity to think about the future, are impulsive and cannot live with rules and do not learn from consequences they get from breaking the rules. Very many of these kids will end up in the prison system, in psychiatric wards, on the streets (homeless), on drugs, in gangs, or dead. Most of those affected lead miserable lives, and cost our society billions of dollars in Special Education, Prisons, Psychiatric Hospitalization, Rehabilitation Facilities, drug enforcement, homeless shelters and such.
Our local police detective told me that at least 80% of the juveniles who've been incarcerated are fetal alcohol exposed. When you're watching the news at night, you may not have realized that you are seeing story after story about fetal alcohol exposed people everyday, as they are much more likely to be in trouble with the law and commit crimes that do not make sense to us "normal" people. Those 80% of juveniles in the justice system will likely grow up to be adults in our justice system.
Our son left home on his 17th birthday - Aug 3rd (that's when the police told him he could legally move out-after we had him arrested for domestic violence on us-his parents). All we know is that he drained his bank account, and is likely somewhere in town as last we knew he still had a girlfriend here. I did hear from the girlfriend's parents that our son told them he was "Kicked Out" which I'm sure was a mechanism he and his girlfriend were using to her parents to feel sorry for him and let him live there, but now that they're on to him, we're not sure where he went. I had to go to the police and file a report
stating that we did not kick him out, so that when some well meaning adult inevitably calls the authorities to report us for neglect, we have some kind of defense. This type of behavior is common for kids with fetal alcohol damage. He has also been spotted driving around town, even though he has no Driver's License, Insurance, or even a permit. I have called the police to alert them to this, however they cannot do anything unless they catch him in the act.
This is not just our life story, but the story of many raising prenatally alcohol exposed children. Many people see those little warning signs in bars or on beer cans stating it is not recommended to consume alcohol while pregnant - but most people don't know how serious alcohol damage to a baby can be.
It is also very likely that the alcoholic beverage industry does not want to tarnish their image or lose sales, and our government who are raking in the tax proceeds from such sales are all too happy to oblige by not making an issue out of this. This is not an anti-republican or anti-democratic issue, as this has been a known problem for over 25 years. Additionally through our own media, we are led to believe that Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is only something to worry about for people adopting from Russia, believe me, as you can see, we have a major problem with this right here in the US.
So for right now, it's up to us parents of these effected children to spread the word in hopes of preventing more cases of this devastating damage. Please share this with everyone you know, the more the public knows, the more likely we can
all save babies (and society) from this fate. If you know of anyone who is pregnant or trying to get pregnant, you are welcome to share our story with them so they will know the dangers of alcohol consumption during pregnancy before it is too late.
If you'd like to learn more go to: http://www.nofas.org/
I'm asking for your help in honor of FASDAY September 9th a day set aside to promote awareness and education about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS). Some towns/cities have participated, and if you hear bells ringing at 9:09am Sept. 9th, it is for that reason. The ninth month, ninth date, at 9:09am signifies the 9 months of pregnancy and is a reminder to stay alcohol free during that critical time.
Thanks,
Karen (RockTheCasbah)
Over the years we've experienced many problems with our son Matt (learning disorders, behavior problems, diagnosis of ADD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Bi-Polar, Depression to name a few). We also had to have him hospitalized 2 years ago for threatening to kill me and our family pet. It's been a very frightening roller coaster of a ride raising him, but what's more frightening is that there are at least 40,000 babies born each year in the US with the same disorder our son has.
Matt was diagnosed last month with Alcohol Related Neurodevelopmental Disorder (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome - without the telltale facial features). We knew his birthmother drank alcohol sometimes during the pregnancy but thought what everyone else did about the subject, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome babies are born only to alcoholic women - This is an absolute lie, as we found out the hard way that there is no safe amount of alcohol for a woman to consume while pregnant - even a couple of drinks can be damaging. The March of Dimes website will verify this.
http://www.marchofdimes.com/professionals/14332_1170.asp
In the alcohol exposed children, many don't show real signs of the damage done to their brains until they start school. Most if not all are diagnosed with ADD or ADHD early on, from there, the problems grow, they have learning disorders, behavioral disorders, etc. Some exposed babies are born seemingly fine, others suffer irreversible brain damage (as our son Matt did). Damage can range from slight learning disabilities, all the way to severe mental retardation and even death. Alcohol not only damages the brain (which is the most vulnerable) but can also cause congenital heart defects, and other organ defects. How much damage alcohol in pregnancy can do is varied depending on genetics, how much alcohol was drunk at one time, what time in the pregnancy the alcohol was drunk and so on, it's a roll of the dice and the horrific outcome is not worth the risk - alot like playing Russian Roulette with a baby's life.
Had our son been diagnosed years ago, his chances for emotional healing and adjusting might have been alot better as there are some interventions that can help these kids if it's caught early enough. The doctors and specialists we took him to over the years were not educated about fetal alcohol damage, because no one knew what the problem was, we weren't able to help him. Matt has no concept of handling money, doesn't know what day of the week it is, he doesn't even remember our address and has lived here for almost 10 years, Our daughter is 11 years old, and she's known our address for years.
Our son can learn things and store them in his brain, BUT the pathway (Corpus Collosum) to get to that stored information is damaged, so he quickly "forgets" whatever he learned, if you've ever seen the movie "50 first dates" you'll know what I mean, except he does remember who people are. The only way he can learn simple things is by repeating and repeating the same thing over and over again.
Because our son's thinking is skewed by brain damage, he would get angry when we tried to guide him or give him advice now, so we have to bite our tongues and let whatever's going to happen - happen. It's a horrible situation, but there are thousands of parents going through the same thing. A very large percentage of these kids are adopted children. We found out that is because the birthmothers are usually teenagers who are not only starting to experiment with sex, but also alcohol and sometimes drugs. They drink for months not knowing they're pregnant and are usually in denial about the possibilty of being pregnant. Some will drink all the more excessively to try to abort a child they're not ready for, rarely does that work, more often it just creates a severely brain damaged child. We also learned that alcohol is much more damaging to a developing fetus than street drugs - can you believe that? It is also an issue in non-adopted children as well because many doctors who graduated med school years ago are not even aware of how damaging prenatal exposure can be, and shockingly, some still tell their pregnant patients that it's ok to have one alcoholic drink per day!
Our son is like a 10 to 12 year old inside a 17 year old's body. He has an IQ of 87, almost no impulse control, frustration, rage and anger problems, and seemingly no conscience, all because his birthmother drank while pregnant. Prenatal exposure to alcohol is the leading known preventable cause of mental retardation and birth defects, and there are at least 40,000 babies born each
year with various degrees of brain damage from prenatal consumption of alcohol in this country alone.
Many of these affected kids leave home around the same age as Matt did because they don't have the capacity to think about the future, are impulsive and cannot live with rules and do not learn from consequences they get from breaking the rules. Very many of these kids will end up in the prison system, in psychiatric wards, on the streets (homeless), on drugs, in gangs, or dead. Most of those affected lead miserable lives, and cost our society billions of dollars in Special Education, Prisons, Psychiatric Hospitalization, Rehabilitation Facilities, drug enforcement, homeless shelters and such.
Our local police detective told me that at least 80% of the juveniles who've been incarcerated are fetal alcohol exposed. When you're watching the news at night, you may not have realized that you are seeing story after story about fetal alcohol exposed people everyday, as they are much more likely to be in trouble with the law and commit crimes that do not make sense to us "normal" people. Those 80% of juveniles in the justice system will likely grow up to be adults in our justice system.
Our son left home on his 17th birthday - Aug 3rd (that's when the police told him he could legally move out-after we had him arrested for domestic violence on us-his parents). All we know is that he drained his bank account, and is likely somewhere in town as last we knew he still had a girlfriend here. I did hear from the girlfriend's parents that our son told them he was "Kicked Out" which I'm sure was a mechanism he and his girlfriend were using to her parents to feel sorry for him and let him live there, but now that they're on to him, we're not sure where he went. I had to go to the police and file a report
stating that we did not kick him out, so that when some well meaning adult inevitably calls the authorities to report us for neglect, we have some kind of defense. This type of behavior is common for kids with fetal alcohol damage. He has also been spotted driving around town, even though he has no Driver's License, Insurance, or even a permit. I have called the police to alert them to this, however they cannot do anything unless they catch him in the act.
This is not just our life story, but the story of many raising prenatally alcohol exposed children. Many people see those little warning signs in bars or on beer cans stating it is not recommended to consume alcohol while pregnant - but most people don't know how serious alcohol damage to a baby can be.
It is also very likely that the alcoholic beverage industry does not want to tarnish their image or lose sales, and our government who are raking in the tax proceeds from such sales are all too happy to oblige by not making an issue out of this. This is not an anti-republican or anti-democratic issue, as this has been a known problem for over 25 years. Additionally through our own media, we are led to believe that Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is only something to worry about for people adopting from Russia, believe me, as you can see, we have a major problem with this right here in the US.
So for right now, it's up to us parents of these effected children to spread the word in hopes of preventing more cases of this devastating damage. Please share this with everyone you know, the more the public knows, the more likely we can
all save babies (and society) from this fate. If you know of anyone who is pregnant or trying to get pregnant, you are welcome to share our story with them so they will know the dangers of alcohol consumption during pregnancy before it is too late.
If you'd like to learn more go to: http://www.nofas.org/
I'm asking for your help in honor of FASDAY September 9th a day set aside to promote awareness and education about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS). Some towns/cities have participated, and if you hear bells ringing at 9:09am Sept. 9th, it is for that reason. The ninth month, ninth date, at 9:09am signifies the 9 months of pregnancy and is a reminder to stay alcohol free during that critical time.
Thanks,
Karen (RockTheCasbah)