Just got bad news about 10 min ago

[lilbuddy]

I debated posting this, its kind of personal but about 99% of you guys wouldn't know me if you saw me on the street.

My wife and I were expecting our new addition to the family latter this summer. We just got a call from the doctor and found out she had a miscarriage. Of course we are both devastated and asked why us, what god would do this to us..... Well its the same god that gave me my beautiful son that we have now. I guess Im posting this to find out who else has gone through this. She was 3 months along. We will try again...and again till we can add our new addition. This is just a real slap in the face. I dont think I have ever felt so .... just disappointed.... Im still at work and am going to wrap it up for the day so I can be with my wife. I just dont know how to deal with this..... Is there really a right way to feel. Im confused, angry, hurt, curious....Trying not to cry at work.

Im sorry if this post has made some of you feel uncomfortable but I just had to express what im feeling now. If the mods or admins feel this in a inappropriate thread please delete it, I will fully understand.

I was really looking forward to posting " look at my new frag".....

Mike:(

[thefushman]

Sorry to here that lillbuddy
It must be very difficult

[MiddletonMark]

I wish you were posting `look at my new frag' too :(

Never know what to say when bad things happen to good people, but thanks for sharing it with us. I appreciate it when people are `real' ... and hope that we can send some of the positivity you always give out here back to you.

Take care, Mike [and your wife, too]

[DiLLy]

Really sorry to hear about that Mike.. Ya'll have my condolences. My mom went through something similar.. I was the first child, and my brother was a still birth.. :( Although I never really went through any difficult times, since I was so young.. It was still hard for my mother. She said it took some time, but like you said.. this was God's choice.. he obviously has some other plans for you all. I guess what I'm trying to get at... if that brother would've been born.. I would've probably not had the brother I have to this day. Take care.. its a hard thing to deal with at first.. as is every situation dealing with life/death.. There's no right or wrong way to handle it.. only time will heal.

-Dylan

[REEFnR6]

The Lord called me before my birth; from within the womb He called me by name.
Isaiah 49:1

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Matthew 5:4

We all mourn with you Mike. PM me if you need to talk.

[c_lou]

I can sympathize with your situation. Earlier this year my wife and I went through the same thing. It was hard to get through. But at that time, I thanked god for the little one we had. Be thankful for your son. Give him a big hug and kiss and tell him you love him.

[Mariner]

My wife and I went through this in 1985. She could still tell you the exact date. It is really a blow...difficult to handle. We went on to have two more beautiful daughters -- the oldest is a senior in high school now.
I've found that the reasons God allows certain things to happen maybe difficult for mere mortals to grasp, but His wisdom and goodness are beyond question. We never know what might have happened to a child or a mother had the miscarriage not occurred. We never know what impact, for good or ill, an unlived life might have had. But I think there is Someone who does know. My prayer is that His comfort and healing will be with you and your wife.
God bless,
Mariner

[Q-ball]

Some believe there's a reason for everything in life...I'm still deciding on that one myself. Regardless, you've got my sympathies Mike. Good positive thoughts headed your way,

Q!!!

[jun_celis]

lilbuddy,

I'm so sorry to hear about what happened. A little bit over 2 years ago my wife had a miscarriage too. She was about 2 1/2 mos far. We have a 4 yr old boy then when this happened. I think it's okay to feel that way because if I can remember, I felt that way too. I didn't know what to do but pray for his/her soul. Anyway, so much for the sad story, the happy ending is, HE(God) gave us another chance(a baby girl, now 21 mos) and another one coming up in May 2004. Just believe in HIM. HE works in misterious ways.

[Jamesurq]

Sorry to hear that lilbuddy. :( :( I can imagine how you're feeling now - as Qball said - there's a reason for everything. Not sure that makes anything better - but it's an excuse to go on in life and to pick yourself up and try again.

God bless

[Melody]

So very sorry to hear that Lilbuddy. :( Please give your wife plenty of TLC and you guys hang tight. I had a miscarriage August 11th and it was one of the most devastating things to go through. I have to believe that God had other plans for our little angel. My prayers are with you and your family.

[pi]

Sorry man! We lost a baby several years ago. We were on vacation and my wife started hemoraging. We called the HMO to get permission to go to the hospital, but they said "no" that it is normal. Over the next 5 days the bleeding got heavier and heavier until one morning I heard a scream from the bathroom.... Wow, I cannot begin to describe how devastating it was.

A HMO that would not allow a out of service hospital visit, a house full of 17 people - some complete strangers, a strange town, a mad dash to the hospital, a 911 call to get help. (Thank God for the firemen who came to our rescue!)

We had just started to share the wonderful news with friends and family.

Your days will get better and I wish you all the hope and happiness in this bad time.

Paul

[drtherc]

God be with you, Mike. Some day, the reason will become clear.
Take care of your wife, she'll still go through the hormonal changes, and that'll be rough. Be the strong one, my friend.

[Markk96]

Mike,

I am very sorry to hear this news. Be strong for your wife and you both will get past this.

[BrianD]

:(

[wizardgus®]

So sorry to hear this Mike. Take care of your family and yourself and good thoughts and wishes sent your way. FWIW, we're always happy to share your good news, no reason for us not to share in the bad.

[TheBimbo]

I have also been down this road, 6 years ago. It was a terrible thing to go through. Thankfully my husband, my son and daughter were there to be my support. It was horrible, and you always heard the same " I'm so sorry, I know how you must feel". I now know that you get only what you can handle in life. You go and be with your wife and comfort her. I know this is hard but it will get easier. We tried again, now we have a 5 year old daughter. :(

[Habib]

Mike:

I'm very sorry to hear that.

We had the same thing exept that it would have been out first child.

The only comfort, and was only a minor comfort, we had was that there is often a very good natural reason for a miscarriage. Something might have been very wrong and results in a natural miscarriage.

I wish you and your family a lot of strength in this very difficult and highly emotional period.

[lilbuddy]

I have to believe that God had other plans for our little angel

I just told this to my wife about an hour ago at the doctors office. I think he/she takes the little ones for his angels.


Thanks everyone for all the kind words. I know Im not alone and in time this will not seem as bad. Im at home now and my little boy is with me, he is almost 2. I look at him and am thankful that god gave him to me.

Again I thank all of you so much for your words...they mean more than you guys know. This board is just amazing....well I mean the members are amazing....Please keep my wife in your prayers as she will go in for the full removal Thursday a.m. I cant imagine the pain she is going trough.

Mike

[grostanzo]

lilbuddy,

So sorry to hear of your loss. I have no personal experience of it but, my mother had 2 miscarriages before I was born.
Our thoughts are with you and your family.

Sincerely,
Gina and Mark

[dc]

Life seems cruel sometimes, so sorry to hear this. :(

[Wee Man]

sorry man.

howard stern gives good insights to this experience in his movie private parts.

he says that something wasnt right and that it was natural for the body to reject what was going wrong. he says that it just means your wifes body is healthy.(i hope you dont find this offensive coming out of howard stern though).but im no gynochologist and i dont think stern is but it sounds accurate to me.

[lilbuddy]

i hope you dont find this offensive coming out of howard stern though

no offense taken. I actually thought about that movie today. At least my wife is going to get the procedure done to have the fetus removed. Some people have this happen to them on the toilet like Howards wife did. I couldn't imagine the pain and disbelief his family went through.

and to all that have responded... your kind words are extremely appreciated. Good news is this has not discouraged us from trying again. My wife just told me she wants to try again as soon as the doctor says its ok.

[TheBimbo]

Having gone through the exact same thing, my husband and I really became a lot closer. I believe that a man can be in as much pain from such a terrible loss. I bet we are all going to give our little ones an extra kiss tonight. :(

[Nanook]

Mike, I am very sorry to hear about your loss. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Hang in there.

Dave:(

[otolith]

Originally posted by Habib
The only comfort, and was only a minor comfort, we had was that there is often a very good natural reason for a miscarriage. Something might have been very wrong and results in a natural miscarriage.

Mike, sorry to hear about your loss. Habib sums it up pretty well, in that something wasn't right. My wife and I had a little "scare" when she was early in her pregnancy, and can empathize with what you two are going through. It really puts life and everything with it into perspective.

I wish you and your wife well...and be sure to give your little boy a big hug!

Derek

[Aquaman]

Sorry to hear about this. I've never been through anything like that, but my brothers wife miscarried her first pregnancy at 7 months. She was pregnant with twins which that in its self was something of a miracle. My brother was one of those kids who at childbirth had almost no immune system Boy in the bubble for those old enough to remember that movie. He was on so many meds to boost his immune system that during college he had the Doc do a sperm count and found that he was 98% sterile. He was devistated by the miscarriage.

He and his wife went on to have a boy, then a girl a few years after.

[Wind]

i just want to say... sorry about it, and that to take cares.... life brings many things for us, good and bad, and it seems to darn unfair that bad things happen to good people.. especially when something like this is involved.. i can't help but feel .... i can relate with personal experience and i ponder about the what ifs and what not..... i guess the most important thing is to rekindle the family and what not, try talk to eachother , ur friends, family and what not... perhaps with time it will be better.. sorry about it, its nice to see people here offering to help and lend an ear..

but take cares, im speechless... prayers and thoughts are with u...

[lilbuddy]

Hey guys and gals....thanks so much for all the kind words you guys have been great!!!!

If I could ask one small favor and that is to keep please keep my wife in your prayers tonight as she is going in for the DNC tomorrow to have the fetus removed. It seems like a simple procedure but there is always some risk involved.

thanks again
mike and Christy!!

[rcmike]

Mike,

I know what you two are going through. My wife had that happen a little over a year ago. When she first became pregnant we told everybody and were very exited. She went in after 6 weeks I think and the baby had no heartbeat. She had a DNC also. It was very hard on us emotionally. She got pregnant again a few months later. We now have a very healthy 2 mo. old. Just be as supportive as you can for her. Take care.

[Jamesurq]

will do buddy - hang in there

[ReefDent]

I'm also very sorry to hear about this. My sister-in-law had a miscarriage several months back (my wife was pregnant at the same time) so I can almost sympathize with what you're going through. My sister-in-law also had a D and C. The strange thing with her was that she was in for a check-up on a Friday (everything was fine, heartbeat, etc...), went to ER on Saturday because of bleeding, had the D and C on Monday only to find that the baby had died probably two weeks prior...

There's not a whole lot I can say other than you and your wife will be in our thoughts and prayers!

James

[Crusty Old Shellback]

Mike,
SOOOOO sorry to hear the bad news. Just be glad that you still have your healthy son and your wife. God will help you work things out and I'm sure it's still in his master plan for you to have more kids, just this was not the right time for one. Stay close to your wife and comfort her. Take care of the family and always look for the good in things. Keep a positive attitude. Good luck.
Ray

[lilbuddy]

thanks guys we are home now after the dnc....it went well...I went to blockbuster on the way home so she is just going to hang out and watch movies.

[DiLLy]

You gotta stop renting movies Mike!!! If it's come out in the last 2 years.. theres a good chance I have it..I'm usually at Wal-Mart every tuesday getting whatever just came out. Next time let me know before you want to rent a movie.. I have a spreadsheet with everything...

Best part is, I don't charge late fees!!! ;)

[lilbuddy]

lol, yep we are watching pirates of the carriaben now.....pretty good so far....

[DiLLy]

just got that yesterday!!

[otolith]

Mike, glad to hear things went well. I think I may have to place an order with you soon. :)

AKADiLLyDiLL, out of curiosity, how many times do you watch every movie that you buy?

[DiLLy]

Originally posted by otolith
Mike, glad to hear things went well. I think I may have to place an order with you soon. :)

AKADiLLyDiLL, out of curiosity, how many times do you watch every movie that you buy?

To tell you the truth.. out of all my DVD's.. (@ 200) I have probably watched 50.. maybe 75% in their entirety.. of those.. I've watched a handful numerous times.. I finally got sick of paying late fees one day.. and since DVD's are so cheap the week they come out, I just grab them.. If nothing else, my kids will get to see all the weird movies "my old *** dad" used to watch ;)

[DiLLy]

btw.. roseville.. good area..I grew up in Minneapolis. My old girlfriend used to live in Shoreview

[michael951972]

:eek: maybe you feel better now that you shared the pain.
i just hope for the best on you next try.
i'm a father of a 4 years old and expecting an addition this month.
i'm honestly don't know if i could handle it as well as you do on your lost.

[lilbuddy]

Michael951972
I wish you the best of luck. I had a bump in the road and got knocked off my horse but the important thing for me and my wife to do is to get back on our horses. Im sure I will never forget what happen but I keep on reminding myself that god did this for a reason. Either this baby was going to have some major problems or god just needed another angel by his side. My wife was telling me a story about a lady who was having a problem with her pregnancy and the doctor advised her to abort the baby that it was going to have major......major birth defect. Well she didnt abort the baby and it was born with out a skull. Lived about 48 hrs. I rather not go through that...

[grostanzo]

Michael951972,
Cool pic!! Nice x-mas gift too.