O'Man
05/22/2001, 10:02 PM
Friend of mine sent me this...... couple of laughs:)
> > In case you needed further proof that the
> > human race is doomed through stupidity,
> > here are some actual label instructions on
> > consumer goods.
> >
> > On a Sear's hairdryer:
> > "Do not use while sleeping."
> > (Gee that's the only time I have to work on
> > my hair.)
> >
> > On a bag of Fritos:
> > "You could be a winner! No purchase
> > necessary. Details inside."
> > (The shoplifter special)
> >
> > On a bar of Dial soap:
> > "Directions: Use like regular soap."
> > (And that would be how ...?)
> >
> > On some Swanson frozen dinners:
> > "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
> > (But its "just" a suggestion)
> >
> > On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on
> > bottom):
> > "Do not turn upside down."
> > (Too late!)
> >
> > On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
> > "Product will be hot after heating."
> > (As night follows day . . .)
> >
> > On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
> > "Do not iron clothes on body."
> > (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
> >
> > On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
> > "Do not drive a car or operate machinery
> > after taking this medication."
> > (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of
> > construction accidents if we could just
> > get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off
> > those forklifts.)
> >
> > On Nytol Sleep Aid:
> > "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
> >
> > (One would hope.)
> >
> > On most brands of Christmas lights:
> > "For indoor or outdoor use only."
> > (As opposed to what?)
> >
> > On a Japanese food processor:
> > "Not to be used for the other use."
> > (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
> >
> > On Sainsbury's peanuts:
> > "Warning: contains nuts."
> > (Talk about a news flash.)
> >
> > On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
> > "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
> > ( Step 3: Fly Delta.)
> >
> > On a child's superman costume:
> > "Wearing of this garment does not enable
> > you to fly."
> > (I don't blame the company. I blame parents
> > for this one.)
> >
> > On a Swedish chainsaw:
> > "Do not attempt to stop chain with your
> > hands or genitals."
> > (Was there a lot of this happening
> > somewhere? My God!)
> > In case you needed further proof that the
> > human race is doomed through stupidity,
> > here are some actual label instructions on
> > consumer goods.
> >
> > On a Sear's hairdryer:
> > "Do not use while sleeping."
> > (Gee that's the only time I have to work on
> > my hair.)
> >
> > On a bag of Fritos:
> > "You could be a winner! No purchase
> > necessary. Details inside."
> > (The shoplifter special)
> >
> > On a bar of Dial soap:
> > "Directions: Use like regular soap."
> > (And that would be how ...?)
> >
> > On some Swanson frozen dinners:
> > "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
> > (But its "just" a suggestion)
> >
> > On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on
> > bottom):
> > "Do not turn upside down."
> > (Too late!)
> >
> > On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
> > "Product will be hot after heating."
> > (As night follows day . . .)
> >
> > On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
> > "Do not iron clothes on body."
> > (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
> >
> > On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
> > "Do not drive a car or operate machinery
> > after taking this medication."
> > (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of
> > construction accidents if we could just
> > get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off
> > those forklifts.)
> >
> > On Nytol Sleep Aid:
> > "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
> >
> > (One would hope.)
> >
> > On most brands of Christmas lights:
> > "For indoor or outdoor use only."
> > (As opposed to what?)
> >
> > On a Japanese food processor:
> > "Not to be used for the other use."
> > (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
> >
> > On Sainsbury's peanuts:
> > "Warning: contains nuts."
> > (Talk about a news flash.)
> >
> > On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
> > "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
> > ( Step 3: Fly Delta.)
> >
> > On a child's superman costume:
> > "Wearing of this garment does not enable
> > you to fly."
> > (I don't blame the company. I blame parents
> > for this one.)
> >
> > On a Swedish chainsaw:
> > "Do not attempt to stop chain with your
> > hands or genitals."
> > (Was there a lot of this happening
> > somewhere? My God!)