Sunday morning funny

[Jeffrey Porter]

5 presidents are on a plane

Five presidents are on a plane: George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, and George W. Bush.

George Washington says, "I will make someone happy!" and throws a dollar bill off the plane.

Then Abraham Lincoln says, "I will make five people happy!" and throws 5 one dollar bills off the plane.

Then John Adams says, "I will make 500 people happy!" and throws 500 one dollar bills off the plane.

Then Thomas Jefferson says, "I will make the whole world happy!" and throws George W. Bush off the plane.











Doctor Demented

A British doctor, a German doctor and an American doctor were chatting.
The British doctor said, "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man put it in another and have him looking for work in six weeks."

Then the German doctor bragged, "That''s nothing, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another and have him looking for work in four weeks."

The American doctor, not to be outdone, says, "You guys are way behind. We took a man with no brain out of Texas, put him in the White House, and almost immediately afterwards half the country was looking for work."

[Aliie]

** tsk tsk** You know better!

[Jeffrey Porter]

what.... me and my coworkers were looking at them yesterday, it's funny.....

[Aliie]

It's not funny and you know it's good for a lock as soon as a MOD finds it.

[BigSkyBart]

http://img133.imageshack.us/img133/6493/inbeforethelock3zd.jpg

[BigSkyBart]

can I add a bad joke too?

[Tarkus70]

That's funny every time I read it.


Than again it's about a 100 years old but funny anyway

[BigSkyBart]

THE POPE AND HILLARY

The Pope and Hillary Rodham Clinton (HRC) are on the same stage in front
of a huge crowd.

'Her Majesty' and His Holiness, however, have seen it all before, so to
make it a little more interesting, the senator says to the Pope, "Did you
know that with just one little wave of my hand I can make every Democrat
in the crowd go wild?"

He doubts it, so she shows him. Sure enough, the wave elicits rapture and
cheering from every democrat in the crowd. Gradually, the cheering
subsides.

The Pope, not wanting to be out done by such a level of arrogance,
considers what he could do. "That was impressive. But did you know that
with just one little wave of MY hand I can make EVERY person in the crowd
go crazy with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display like that of
your subjects, but will go deep into their hearts, and they will forever
speak of this day and rejoice."

The senator seriously doubts this, and says so. "One little wave of your
hand and all people will rejoice forever? Show me."

So the Pope slapped her.

[crzy4reefs]

IBTL

but funny has heck thanks for the laugh :lol:

[Tarkus70]

<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=11443082#post11443082 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by BigSkyBart
THE POPE AND HILLARY

The Pope and Hillary Rodham Clinton (HRC) are on the same stage in front
of a huge crowd.

'Her Majesty' and His Holiness, however, have seen it all before, so to
make it a little more interesting, the senator says to the Pope, "Did you
know that with just one little wave of my hand I can make every Democrat
in the crowd go wild?"

He doubts it, so she shows him. Sure enough, the wave elicits rapture and
cheering from every democrat in the crowd. Gradually, the cheering
subsides.

The Pope, not wanting to be out done by such a level of arrogance,
considers what he could do. "That was impressive. But did you know that
with just one little wave of MY hand I can make EVERY person in the crowd
go crazy with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display like that of
your subjects, but will go deep into their hearts, and they will forever
speak of this day and rejoice."

The senator seriously doubts this, and says so. "One little wave of your
hand and all people will rejoice forever? Show me."

So the Pope slapped her.

Can I use this?

[Satori]

Forget IBTL. I say IBTD. :lol:

[dkh0331]

http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b317/dkh0331/oldman.gif


http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b317/dkh0331/IBTL.gif

[BigSkyBart]

sure, be sure to send me the 7 cent royalty fee per use

[wizardgus®]

Cool! For once I don't have to make the call! And finally I get an...

IBTL

:lol:

[shouldabenacowboy]

IBTL



http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f19/shouldabenacowboy/Lock.gif

SBC

[BigSkyBart]

rut ro...

http://www.bellflower.org/images/scooby-doo_web.jpg

I should never attempt sarcasm before my 2nd cup of coffee

[Tarkus70]

You take paypal?

[wizardgus®]

<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=11443131#post11443131 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by Tarkus70
You take papal?

Fixed!

Now that there is funny~! :lol:

[Tarkus70]

<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=11443138#post11443138 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by wizardgus®
Fixed!

Now that there is funny~! :lol:


Thanks:lol:

[BigSkyBart]

<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=11443138#post11443138 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by wizardgus®
Fixed!

Now that there is funny~! :lol:

yes, yes it is

[BigSkyBart]

Apologies to all for my lapse in judgement above

funny or not, isn't the issue, I shouldn't have posted it on the board.





































I guess this means I don't get to ride in the miata handing out beer to the neighborhood children in the christmas day parade this year either :lol:

[FloatingFish]

http://i193.photobucket.com/albums/z67/FloatingFish123/ibtl1bush2.jpg

[Jeffrey Porter]

hey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! don't you people go and get my thread closed.

[Satori]

<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=11443413#post11443413 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by Jeffrey Porter
hey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! don't you people go and get my thread closed.

I think it was on it's way after the very first post. :lol:

[dkh0331]

<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=11443420#post11443420 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by Satori
I think it was on it's way after the very first post. :lol:

X2

:lol:



If the always controversial Bermuda politics gets closed, what did you think was going to happen?

[clavery]

Thanks!:D

[BigSkyBart]

<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=11443420#post11443420 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by Satori
I think it was on it's way after the very first post. :lol:
X3 :D

[Jeffrey Porter]

well it made it to the second page.

[FloatingFish]

Soon you will be able to post in this thread!

X4

http://archive.reefcentral.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=1277493

[dkh0331]

2008 Democratic National Convention
Schedule of Events

7:00 pm ~ Opening flag burning
7:15 pm ~ Pledge of Allegiance to the U. N.
7:20 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
7:25 pm ~ Nonreligious prayer and worship with Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton
7:45 pm ~ Ceremonial tree hugging
7:55 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:00 pm ~ How I Invented the Internet - Al Gore
8:15 pm ~ Gay Wedding Planning - Barney Frank presiding
8:35 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:40 pm ~ Our Troops are War Criminals - John Kerry
9.00 pm ~ Memorial service for Saddam and his sons - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon
10:00 pm ~ "Answering Machine Etiquette" - Alec Baldwin
11:00 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:05 pm ~ Collection for the Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund - Barbra Streisand
11:15 pm ~ Free the Freedom Fighters from Guantanamo Bay - Sean Penn
11:30 pm ~ Oval Office Affairs - William Jefferson Clinton
11:45 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:50 pm ~ How George Bush Brought Down the World Trade Towers - Howard Dean
12:15 am ~ "Truth in Broadcasting Award" - Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore
12:25 am ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
12:30 am ~ Satellite address by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
12:45 am ~ Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Nancy Pelosi
1:00 am ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
1:05 am ~ Coronation of Hillary Rodham Clinton
1:30 am ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
1:35 am ~ Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home

[Satori]

<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=11443497#post11443497 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by dkh0331
2008 Democratic National Convention
Schedule of Events

7:00 pm ~ Opening flag burning
7:15 pm ~ Pledge of Allegiance to the U. N.
7:20 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
7:25 pm ~ Nonreligious prayer and worship with Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton
7:45 pm ~ Ceremonial tree hugging
7:55 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:00 pm ~ How I Invented the Internet - Al Gore
8:15 pm ~ Gay Wedding Planning - Barney Frank presiding
8:35 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:40 pm ~ Our Troops are War Criminals - John Kerry
9.00 pm ~ Memorial service for Saddam and his sons - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon
10:00 pm ~ "Answering Machine Etiquette" - Alec Baldwin
11:00 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:05 pm ~ Collection for the Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund - Barbra Streisand
11:15 pm ~ Free the Freedom Fighters from Guantanamo Bay - Sean Penn
11:30 pm ~ Oval Office Affairs - William Jefferson Clinton
11:45 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:50 pm ~ How George Bush Brought Down the World Trade Towers - Howard Dean
12:15 am ~ "Truth in Broadcasting Award" - Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore
12:25 am ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
12:30 am ~ Satellite address by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
12:45 am ~ Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Nancy Pelosi
1:00 am ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
1:05 am ~ Coronation of Hillary Rodham Clinton
1:30 am ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
1:35 am ~ Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home

:lol: I have to laugh at this one! :lol:

[FloatingFish]

11:30 pm ~ Oral Office Affairs - William Jefferson Clinton

Sorry had to fix that one!:celeb1:

[dkh0331]

<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=11443522#post11443522 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by FloatingFish
11:30 pm ~ Oral Office Affairs - William Jefferson Clinton

Sorry had to fix that one!:celeb1:

:thumbsup:

:lmao:

[BigSkyBart]

YA' ALL are gonna be in trouble :D




im innocent, I swear ;)

[FloatingFish]

<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=11443535#post11443535 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by BigSkyBart
YA' ALL are gonna be in trouble :D




im innocent, I swear ;)

Jeffrey started it!

[dkh0331]

its all highlighted bermuda boy's fault!!

[wizardgus®]

Two Irishmen are digging a ditch in Dublin right across the street from a brothel. Paddy looks up just in time to see a Lutheran minister stop at the door, look both ways, then duck into the brothel.

"Oh Shawn, a shame upon the Lutheran faith! There goes a man of the cloth into a house of ill repute."

Shawn agrees, "Ah, a shame it tis."

After a bit he sees a Jewish rabbi do the same thing and go inside.

"Oh Shawn, a shame upon the Jewish faith, there goes one of their men of the cloth into that den of sin!"

"Yes, a shame it tis."

A little later Paddy spots a Catholic Priest who stops, looks both ways, and the goes into the brothel.

"Oh no Shawn! There is a real shame...one of the girls must have died!"

There we have it, religion, politics and sex. And probably pass the test too?

:lol:

[dkh0331]

:lmao:

[BigSkyBart]

<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=11443551#post11443551 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by dkh0331
its all highlighted bermuda boy's fault!!

paging batguano, paging batguano

can the "highlight" defense be used in the same manner the "twinkie" defense?

if so, jeffe may have a chance :D

[wizardgus®]

I just want to go where ever my friends on this thread will be going. :lol:

[Jeffrey Porter]

oh heck with it, if yous wanna mess with me, you has to go through Aliie first.

[BigSkyBart]

going down with the sinking ship!
how admirable!

[BigSkyBart]

<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=11443611#post11443611 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by Jeffrey Porter
oh heck with it, if yous wanna mess with me, you has to go through Aliie first.

aliie said she'd hold ya still so we can redo your hair & highlights!

neeners, get the horse clippers!

who's bringing the spray paint?

[wizardgus®]

<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=11443613#post11443613 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by BigSkyBart
going down with the sinking ship!
how admirable!
I'm not an admiral anymore, just a swabby.

HTH

[Misled]

Thanks guys!!!!!



:lol:


IBTL or IBTD





And Ted Kennedy gets 2 for the road!!!!!

[BigSkyBart]

chap......?


aww, umm, nevermind :lol:






































I was gonna saychapstick I swear!

[Jeffrey Porter]

now i really don't like where this thread is going.

[FloatingFish]

Where did you think it was going to go?

[Jeffrey Porter]

assist

[Jeffrey Porter]

didn't think singling me out and not by the mods.

[Jeffrey Porter]

meeee!!!!!

[dkh0331]

Finally, a new bumper sticker for BOTH political parties.

This hottest selling political bumper sticker comes from New York State:

"RUN HILARY RUN'

Democrats put it on the rear bumper.

Republicans put it on the front bumper.

[Jeffrey Porter]

i've seen that somewhere before.

[Tarkus70]

Someone say Twinkies?

Can I say Twinkies in here?

How about Twinkies at th......... oh never mind