Funniest Bumper Sticker ?

[Siddroww]

Whats the funniest one you have or have seen ?

I pulled up behind a very small car leaning towards the drivers side with a very large man behind the wheel . His bumper sticker read ,


" I may be fat but your ugly and I can lose fat "


Another fav. was " My Reality Check Bounced "


Any More ?

[hiddendragonet]

My favorite is:

"Jerry's dead. Phish sucks. Get a job."

:D

(I love both Dead and Phish, BTW) (Oh, and I do have a job)

[tiger roach]

My all-time favorite:

"I haven't gotten laid in so long, I forget who gets tied up"

[gcvt]

"I want to die in my sleep like my Grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car"

"Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That"

"My kid had sex with your honor student"

[Jerry W]

"Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks your an ***$hole"
"Life is short. Don't be a dick."

[budhaboy]

"NECROPHILIA: That uncontrollable urge to crack open a cold one"

"honk if you've never seen an Uzi fired from a car window"

"If walking is so good for you, then why does my mailman look like Jabba the Hutt?"

"The gene pool needs a little chlorine"

"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder"

"People are more passionately opposed to wearing fur than leather because its safer to harass rich women than bikers"

[beerguy]

"Jesus loves you, but I'm his favorite"

"Accordians don't play Lady of Spain; people do"

"I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings." -- (funny but seems to scream PULL ME OVER")

[Kevomac]

"Don't mess with Texas Women" (If anyone knows where to get one of these let me know. My wife wants one.)

"Keep honking, I'm reloading."

"Smile, Cthulu hates you." (Have to be a Lovecraft fan to get that one).

"Think honk if you're a telepath"

"Re-elect Gore in 2004"

"Not all men are stupid. Some are bachelors."

"One good turn...usually gets the whole blanket."

The preceding bumper sticker slogans do njot reflect my actual views or opinions. I just think they're funny.

[Siddroww]

Originally posted by beerguy
[B

"I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings." -- (funny but seems to scream PULL ME OVER") [/B]

Not as much as " Bad cop - No donut "

[SBGRAD24]

Not so much funny but very true:
"I work so people on welfare don't have to"

[jarhead]

You'd drive better with that phone up your *****

[Siddroww]

Originally posted by Kevomac

"Not all men are stupid. Some are bachelors."





Been married for 16 years now , So far this one has got to be my favorite .

[pnosko]

"I want to die in my sleep like my Grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car" Now THAT is funny! :lolspin:

"EAT BERTHA'S MUSSELS" (Bertha's restaurant in Fells Point (Baltimore). MD)


Notable, but probably off-topic

"I'm Mad Too, Eddie" (Not really funny, but I'd love an explanation if anyone has one)

"Pro-Life by Choice" (Irony that will make you cry)

[Kevomac]

As for the "I'm mad too, Eddie" it refers to a person from the Dallas Metro area who used to always be on the radio saying "Hello, I'm Eddie Chiles, and I'm mad". He went on from there, but I can't remember for the life of me what he was mad about. The bumper sticker came later. That ad campaign must have run 20 years ago or more, as I was a mere fry when I used to hear it. He later ran an ad campaign in which he stated he wasn't mad anymore. Think it had something to do with local politics. :rolleyes:

[budhaboy]

kevomac- Eddie Chiles was the owner of the Texas Rangers(not to mention a big oil tycoon) during his ad campaigns during the 80s I believe.

[budhaboy]

double post.

[mst_RoadRash]

"Nice people swallow."

"Just a little bit closer, then I can slam on my breaks"

In big letters "Women belong in the House."
In MUCH smaller letters under that "and the Senate too."

"You're car may be really fast, but you're behind me. Deal with it."

[ajwaters]

"Eve Was Framed"

"If your close enough to read this bumper stick I can slam on my brakes and sue your @$$." something like that

[alde]

"Nuke a gay whale for Jesus"

"Born Again Pagan"

[tyoberg]

"My guns have killed fewer people than Edward Kennedy's car"

[Q-ball]

Originally posted by tyoberg
"My guns have killed fewer people than Edward Kennedy's car"


LMAO!!! :thumbsup:

[gas4544]

Curiosity didn't kill your cat, I did.

I'm a cat lover, but its still funny.

[alde]

:beer: Beer, it's not just for breakfast anymore":beer:

[Kevomac]

Budhaboy

That's it! Do you remember what he was mad about? If I don't find out soon, I might be forced to call my father. He's one of the few people who remembers as much ridiculous crud like this as I do.

[pnosko]

"My Karma ran over your Dogma"

[mst_RoadRash]

One I saw at lunch: "My hands are full with talking on the phone and putting on my make up. Just imagine I'm flipping you off."

Another one I like "Your horn, my finger. It's a Pavlovian thing."

[NanoReefer53]

Honk if your horney
heheh, i always write this on the back of people's car if they're dirty, and it works :p

My kid beat up your honor roll student at _ _ _ _ school

Crash me, I need the money

Will work for food
Will beg for sex

those are the best i've seen :D

[dollarz81]

Jacksonville, NC.....Not the end of the world, but you can see it from here!

[Newreeflady]

I just got one that says:

MY POMERANIAN IS SMARTER THAN YOUR HONOUR STUDENT!

:D

Angela. ( I really need one that says "i'm too lazy to even put a bumper sticker on!!" I've had the above one for 4 weeks now and it hasn't made it onto the bumper yet, lol!! )

[csanchez77]

Nanoreef, that is one of my favorite's too!

My kid beat up your honor roll student at _ _ _ _ school

Some others I like:

Don't Like My Driving...
Dial 1-800-EAT-SH*T A little old but still a favorite

YOU CANT BEAT
WAGNER'S MEAT Yes, Wagner's is really a local meat shop.

[Kahuna Tuna]

Live better/work union

WWJD-for a klondike bar

DNC 2002- Working hard for the sons and especially the daughters os America (pictures of bill clinton, teddy kennedy, and gary condit on the sticker)

I f*#@ on the first date!

Caution: Show chicken on board

It shouldn't hurt to be a husband

Got poop? (on the back of a septic tank truck)

[cavediver]

I Brake for Tailgaters.

[mtellin]

Originally posted by Kahuna Tuna


Got poop? (on the back of a septic tank truck)

Ours around here says "We're number 1 in the number 2 business", at least they have a sense of humor about it :)

[Nano-Neophyte]

Stop Continental Drift

[jimroth]

<B>Pass quietly, driver sleeping!
Pass Carefully, Driver Chews SKOAL!
Horn Broken, Watch for Finger!
Warning, I Brake for Hallucinations.
This IS my other car!
GO away NAVY!</B>

I know it's serious, but i really like

<B>I'm Following JESUS!</B>
I mean, is he really in that red Honda in front of you?

[seasquirt]

My car had a sticker that said "Have you flogged your crew today?" Everyone on my school's sailing team loved it.

[64Ivy]

"IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU SURE AS HELL DIDN'T GO TO SCHOOL IN LOUISIANA". You'll have to guess where.

Also an fan of:"DRIVER MARRIED. CARRIES NO CASH".

[pnosko]

Not a bumper sticker, but I see an ice cream delivery truck now and then that has written across the side;

"Notice: Driver does not carry spoons!"

I love it.

[csanchez77]

HEY 64IVY: I RESEMBLE THAT REMARK!

[Dragonlady]

"Some people are born leaders. You are following one."

"If you tailgate me, I will flick a booger on your windshield."

[ToddinAtl]

Just a few really funny ones:


"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."
"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."
"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."
"Cover me. I'm changing lanes."
"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public
schools"
"Happiness is a belt-fed weapon"
"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot."
"Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep."
"The gene pool could use a little chlorine."
"I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a
vegetarian."
"It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you."
"When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the
IRS."
"Wink, I'll do the rest!"
"I took an IQ test and the results were negative."
"Where there's a will, I want to be in it!"
"Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?"
"If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?"
"Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its
students!"
"It's lonely at the top, but you eat better."
"Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!"
"Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!"
"Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear."
"Give me ambiguity or give me something else."
"We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse."
"Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot."
"He who laughs last thinks slowest."
"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math."
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
"Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be
happy."
"Consciousness: that annoying time between naps."
"i souport publik edekasion"
"We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated."
"3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't."
"Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"
"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'...till you can find
a rock."
"I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic
particles."
"Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home."

Todd

[Wazzel]

64IVY be nice! I would say that sticker was from Mississippi.

"I owe, I owe so off to work I go"

"Be kind to animals... eat a PETA member"

"Drive has teenagers carries no cash"

[god_of_wolves]

"Driver carries only $20...

In Ammunition!!!"

[biomanjcs72]

Two recent favorites:


Gun control is being able to hit your target.

Gun control is using both hands.


I'm not a member of the NRA , I just thought these were funny, I am, however, an advocate of our second amendment rights.

[cuc]

I love this one

If you value your life
as much as I value this car
don't F*@# with it.

Smith&Wesson


I was following a bread truck that said,

If you can smell my buns then your to close.
Back Off!

David

[ToddinAtl]

I just thought of another funny one

"If you don't like the way I drive...GET OFF THE SIDEWALK!!"

hehe
Todd

[Strumpling]

I had one for a long time that said:

"Yoda is our psychic friend"

Somebody stole the bumper-sticker... :(

[KASESQ]

Visualize whirled peas (usually coupled with small,flying green vegetables)
At ___ years old I'm still tarp as a shack.
Crouching Homer, Dunking doughnut (soon to be a major motion picture...d'oh!)

[Siddroww]

well we cant post a poll , way too many .

I think that although its not the funniest its one of the best is one of todds .

" Make it idiot proof and they'll make a better idiot "


" Curiosity didnt kill your cat I did " also gets honerable mention .



Too many good ones to pick a # 1 though

[tiger roach]

I just saw one that killed me on the way home:

"Buck Fin Laden"

[64Ivy]

Just to clarify, guys: The "If you can read this..." sticker was not mine. I mean, coming from a family of educators myself...well, not educators really, my father was a trucker. But he taught me how to drive so that's like being an educator, right? Anyway, it's never my intention to maliciously make fun of ANY state or profession in that state. I merely thought the sticker was funny. And so did Mr. DuPlessis here, one of the reps for the New Orleans Board of Education. So there!

[J-Bomber]

I've only seen this once, a few years ago, but it's stuck with me as totally irreverent -- and I love irreverence.

God was my copilot, but we crash-landed on a remote mountain and I was forced to eat him.

[laguna]

Beauty is just a light switch away

[Wazzel]

64Ivy

No offense actuallty taken. just picking. I thought it was funny also.

[Kevomac]

How about:

"Don't make me get my flying monkeys!"

"One by one, the penguins steal my sanity"

[Sardonic Wit]

Originally posted by Kevomac
"One by one, the penguins steal my sanity"


Geeze, not the penguins again...anything but the penguins...the penguins are not real...oh dear, not the penguins again...

[Sardonic Wit]

The "honeydip wagon" around here has "a good flush beats a full house" written on it.

Had a bumper sticker that came on my old Chevette that read "when I grow up I'll be a Camero".

Sadly the car never grew up. It just disintegrated into rust...

[MarkS]

Originally posted by alde
"Nuke a gay whale for Jesus"

My favorite one so far! Where can I get it?

[TheJ]

Some recent good ones:

"i read your email."

"my kid reads your honor student's email."

"what logs?"

and of course,

"god is just pretend."

[Niven]

Jesus SAVES!
Gretzky steals, he SCORES!!!!!

[hesaias]

My other car is a peice of junk too

The closer you get, the slower I go

Bass players do it deeper

[Kevomac]

Just saw this one,

"Honk if parts fall off"

[Pomacanthus1]

www.idiot-ink.com/discinbreed.jpg
www.idiot-ink.com/beersex.jpg (wouldn't let me show those)

And some others i like:
"Bring Back Capitalism"
"I'm Against Abortion Because I'm A Former Fetus"
"Keep Working, Millions On Welfare Depend On You!"

Hey, do you know where i can get that "I work so people on welfare don't have to" sticker online?

[Mushroom Boy]

What Would Ozzy Do?

Driving A Gas Guzzler Is Un-American.

Eschew Obfuscation

I'm changing the climate, ask me how.

[jayo]

My fav:

FOLLOW ME TO CERTAIN DEATH!

dunno if it was meant to be serious but it made me laugh.

jayo

[Sea Wraith]

Cats...... the OTHER white meat!
Protected by Smith and Wesson!
Carpenters always have WOOD!
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
If we aren't supposed to eat amimals, why are they made with meat?
I LIKE CATS! They taste like chicken.
National Atheist's Day April 1
I hear you lost your cat? Check under my tire.
i souport publik edekasion
Don't steal. The government hates competition.
I still miss my ex-wife. But my aim is improving.
I can't go to work today. The voices told me to stay home and clean the guns.
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!
You are depriving some poor village of its idiot!
So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Allow me to introduce my selves
I'm just working here until a good fast food job opens up....
And your crybaby, whiny opinion would be ... ?
Is it time for your medication or mine?
Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

and last but not least


Does your train of thought have a caboose?

[reptilicus]

I haven't participated in one of these lounge discussions for a while....
Save a cow, eat a vegetarian!
Help the Police, beat yourself up!

I'm sure there's heaps more I can think of but it's too late to think right now!
Tom

[mst_RoadRash]

This thread has got me checking out bumper stickers now...

I saw one this morning and remembered one.

On a Jeep Wrangler was a sticker that was written upside down that said "If you can read this, roll me back over."

Another one I thought was interesting "Did God invent Man or did Man invent God?" Brave guy driving that car since I live in a conservative Christian area.

[neuroracer]

I always thought this one was funny - on the back of a car with the rainbow sticker and the upside-down pink triangle sticker and a girl driving:
"Vaginas rule"

i had to laugh...

neuroracer

[J-Bomber]

...just saw this one on my way home from Sacramento today:

Support Cannibalism.
eat me.

[spsboy]

My all time favorite
Anyone from Florida, or that fly's south for the winter can appreciate this one:

"when I grow old, I'm going to move up north and drive slowly."

[dragon0121]

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies

This is just one of those fundamental truths, isn't it?

[sven]

"Save the whales, .... Collect the whole set"

"fat people are harder to kidnap"

"I used to think the older you got the more indecisive you got, but now I'm not so sure"

[sven]

Oops! I forgot this one.

"My daughter is an honor student at the State Correctional Facility"

[SushiGirl]

"Support your local bloodhounds...get lost"

"Don't take life so seriously, it's not permanent"

One my uncle wanted to have made:
"My wife & my money go to Home Depot"

I always see college ones that belong to parents that say things like "I'm an Aggie's Mom" (some of those I've seen upside down). In that same vein, I thought Indiana should have these:
"Hoosier Daddy" and "Hoosier Momma"

[fishymissy]

Seen on a septic truck;

We've been taking crap from our customers for 50 years


:D

[grafxguy]

I'd rather be doing your girlfriend!!

eric

[SBGRAD24]

"My other ride is your girlfriend"

[IrishStout]

Talk about one that SCREAMS pull me over. Is everyone familiar with the D.A.R.E. to keep kids off drugs campaign??

D.A.R.E. To Keep Cops Off Donuts
Donut Abuse Resistance Education

I keep it on the fridge, not on the car:D

[Paul B]

So many cats....
So few recipies

[TheJ]

http://www.stickergiant.com/Merchant2/imgs/b5553.gif

hee hee :D

[pnosko]

TheJ,
I WANT ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Kahuna Tuna]

TheJ-
That's good, I liked the other one too, Sore/Loserman