ATTN: LFS employees

[littlefish72]

Post your favorite story about a "special" customer that we all have delt with at some time or another. I'll start with a few.....

A man walks in and asks if it's ok to boil your gravel. We tell him we don't see why not but why would you want to? He says his tank had all these "bugs" crawling in the gravel and his wife didn't like them because they were creepy. So she siphons out all the gravel and boils it to kill the "bugs" and puts it back in the tank. Then we tell him they are amphipods, copepods, etc and they are beneficial and blah blah blah....

A man walks in and asks how to cure live rock. We tell him how and he says that's not the way the guy at the museum told him how. We ask what's the other way and he says "He told me you have to put it in the microwave." Stunned we ask "So how'd that turn out?" He said "White. It turns it nice and white." Ever since then we make the joke amongst ourselves "So how many minutes per pound do you reccomend while curing your live rock in the microwave?"

Mid afternoon one Saturday we sell a guy a power compact fixture for his 75 gallon that was like 3 or 4 hundred bucks. About five minutes before closing time he walks in with the fixture and says it's not working for some reason. He brings it over to the counter so we can plug it in and check it out. I plug it in and nothing happens so i reach over to the swich and *CLICK* and the fixture lights up the whole room. The guy is clearly embarrassed and says "You've got to be kidding me." He picks up his fixture, walks out of the store, and we never see him again.

I thought I'd share these stories so that maybe it would make somebody laugh and to prove that no matter how clueless you think some lfs employees are, there are customers that are ten times as worse. Please post your "special" stories

[Mishap]

Guy calls in saying his protein skimmer isn't working, and that he read up and they are an absolute must have for aquariums. So I ask what skimmer he has. He says he has the Coralife Super Skimmer 65 on his 29g tank. Next I ask how long he's had it running, knowing they take a few days to break in. He says it's been running for 3 weeks. I ask him how the bubbles look, he says they're rather large but there's tons of them. Now I'm running out of ideas, so I'm really grasping here. So I ask what kind of fish he has in there, maybe it's not a big bioload.

His answer..... "I have 3 oscars, 2 cichlids, and a catfish."

I politely tell him that protein skimmers do not work on freshwater tanks. He asks "Are you serious?" I say yep, dead serious. The next thing I hear is "Click".

[MusMusculus]

20-ish years ago:

An older lady walked into the store and asked where the salt is. I pointed out the stack of Instant Ocean bags and she grabbed one. The next day she was back yelling about how our product killed all her fish though she followed the directions exactly. Turns out that she kept goldfish. Poor things.

[drummereef]

Originally posted by littlefish72
"You've got to be kidding me." He picks up his fixture, walks out of the store, and we never see him again.

That's freakin funny.

[kh6sat]

Geeezzzzz!!!!

[Ryanqk]

wow, those are funny, lol

I have one from a customer perspetive, recently a LFS sold a guy i know a powder brown tang with ick, and told him the "white spots" were part of its colouration! We were able to save it for him in QT with copper, but we had JUST gotten a outbreak under control from the last fish he thoughtlessly bought without researching cuse he is rich and doesnt care. As a result he now has 3 saltwater tanks to house all the fish that dont get along lol!

[hooterhead]

Lady walks in and when I ask her if I can help, she tells me in a very matter of fact way, "I'll take one of these Ocellaris clowns." I oblige and send her on her way. A few hours later she comes back in, freaking out about her clownfish. "It's dying!" she was screaming. So I started asking her about it and she said that about 30 min after she put it in the tank that it started turning white and breathing extra heavy. I asked her about the water quality and about the tank in general... Long story short, she had dumped the clown into a betta bowl with PURE TAP WATER!

I now ask almost every customer I don't know about their tank before I'll sell them a fish.

[littlefish72]

^ I have gotten the question will Nemo get along with tetras and if guppies will live in a bird bath.......and both of these were after i had bagged the fish up and was like no no no no no no no and put the fish back........ever since i have tactfully inquired about their tank and made sure they had a proper setup

[hankthetank]

Woman stands staring at a display tank,points at a Yellow Tang and asks"Is that a salt water fish?"To which I reply "yes".She then points to a Naso Tang in the same tank and asks"Is that a salt water fish too?"Don't ever believe there is no such thing as a stupid question!

[Fishdude1984]

wow! i love stupid people!

[rachelcb80]

Woman stands staring at a display tank,points at a Yellow Tang and asks"Is that a salt water fish?"To which I reply "yes".She then points to a Naso Tang in the same tank and asks"Is that a salt water fish too?"Don't ever believe there is no such thing as a stupid question!

Oh my gosh! Deductive reasoning is totally lost on some people, isn't it!?

[LobsterOfJustice]

For all you non-LFS employees: I know you think LFS employees are bad. I'm sure most of them are. But trust me. There are WAY more idiot customers than idiot employees. Obviously none of the people on these forums are idiot customers, or idiot employees. But next time your in the LFS, hang around close to some other customers, just mosy around for 30 minutes or so, you will be astounded!

[cowboyswife]

These are great stories!! Keep them coming!!

[RichConley]

Whats wrong with putting guppies in a birdbath?

[dc]

Well they'd freeze here. And the birds would eat them.

LOL, so are we going to start a dumb LFS employees thread too?

[easye123]

these r funy.. im not a lfs employee but i thought this was funny. an old man and his wife come in and look around the store a bit. not knowing anything about the hobby i would understand but common. after a while they asked a question... which was is live rock the same as live coral. and the guy kindly explains what live rock is, and there ohhhh ok. then there next question was is there any live coral in here? ( as there standing in a room full of show tanks and lps and sps tanks) i thought it was pretty funny

[Kiel'thalin]

How about this:
At my LFS a guy asked for some frozen fish food. The lady watching the store walks to the back room where the freezer is. She forgot how many he wanted and returns to the main room. Get this, the guy was standing on a ladder with a ziploc bag trying to net out some dwarf gourami. Caught in the act, they guy bolted out of the store.

[TheMcs]

If only I had the time to post all the stories.

"I like those three fish together in that holding tank, will they get along?"

"Can I boil down my w/c waste water to recapture the salt & reuse it?" I spent about 10 minutes explaining both the inefficiency of this and the fact that the 1/2 the purpose of a w/c is to replenish trace elements that would be missing from the "used" salt. Got a look like I just solidified his opinion that all LFS employees are stupid. Glad a guy with 2 months into his 55 know more than me...

About the powder blue in our coral tank, "will that fish eat my corals?"

About the lavender tang clearly labeled as such, "What kind of fish is that?"
me: "A lavender tang"
her: "how am I supposed to know that?"
me: "well, there's the label, and that's also why I asked earlier to let me know if I can help you out with anything"
her: "that's a bad name, this fish isn't very lavender"
me: "I didn't name the fish lady"

I could go on all day.

[gtrestoration]

Originally posted by Mishap
Guy calls in saying his protein skimmer isn't working, and that he read up and they are an absolute must have for aquariums. So I ask what skimmer he has. He says he has the Coralife Super Skimmer 65 on his 29g tank. Next I ask how long he's had it running, knowing they take a few days to break in. He says it's been running for 3 weeks. I ask him how the bubbles look, he says they're rather large but there's tons of them. Now I'm running out of ideas, so I'm really grasping here. So I ask what kind of fish he has in there, maybe it's not a big bioload.

His answer..... "I have 3 oscars, 2 cichlids, and a catfish."

I politely tell him that protein skimmers do not work on freshwater tanks. He asks "Are you serious?" I say yep, dead serious. The next thing I hear is "Click".

http://www.schuran.com/freshwater/abschaeumer_e.html

http://www.aquaticeco.com/index.cfm/.../7897/cid/1993

That's really not true anymore.

SteveU

[gtrestoration]

Friend of mine with a LFS changed out a pump on a service customers tank. Next day they called and told him the new pump "sucked the color right off the fish". They were serious.

SteveU

[reefing102]

A guy came in a while back and picked up a small betta bowl (less than 1 gallon), some gravel, water conditioner, etc, etc anyway after he asked what he needed for a tank - never specified saltwater - he says ok i'll take 2 of those clowns and 1 of those blue fishes (damsel). I say I can't sell you those cause the tank is to small and they are saltwater. So he storms out of the store annoyed.

[puffer21]

someone comes in and he wants a tang.

ME:How big is the tank and how long it has been running.
GUY: its at least a 180 and has been running for 2 weeks.
ME: 2 weeks is way to short of a time to add a tang, why dont you try a clown or something hardy as your first fish.
GUY: this isnt the first fish.
ME: Oh ok what do you have in the tank.
GUY: a clarki, Percula, yellow tang, Naso, 2 types of puffers, 6 different aneomes, oh and a black tang, and some other fish i cant remember.
ME: you added all that in two weeks???? Half thoses fish dont even go together??? What do you have as a filterization, live rock, skimmer??
GUY: Under gravel filter, crushed coral
ME: me basically saying you need sand, skimmer, live rock, and that you need to get those fish out.
Guy: we i dont think i have enough money for that stuff.
ME: Well if you dont all those fish will probly die. And all that money too.
GUY: well i did spend about 4000 on the fish. and everyone has told me that my tank will probly crash but i think it will be fine.
ME: Ok, but i would recommed doing what i said and not adding anymore fish and giving the ones you do away.
GUY: well my wife likes them. But i will change the sand since the right side is sand, left is crushed coral, and the middle is gravel,
ME: thinking to myself OMG those fish are dead and i know he will go somewhere else and get another fish.

[ledford1]

Great thread.

[Ebisan]

^ agree. Funny stories.

[JJ21]

i hate stupid people...i just wanna punch them and yell "GO DO SOME RESEARCH!!!"