Darwin Award Winners

[masson]

Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the
Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least
evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious winners.



1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his
intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach,
California, would-be robber James Elliot did something
that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the
barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it
worked.....

And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in
a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping
around, submitted a claim to his insurance company.
The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine
and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a
space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago
returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken
the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a
Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental
patients he was supposed to be transporting from
Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit
his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop
and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He
then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital,
telling the staff that the patients were very
excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.
The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering
from serious head wounds received from an oncoming
train. When asked how he received the injuries, the
lad told police that he was simply trying to see how
close he could get his head to a moving train before
he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20
bill on the counter , and asked for change. When the
clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and
asked for all the cash in the register, which the
clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from
the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter.
The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15.
(If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is
a crime committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty
badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock
through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and
run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over
his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back
and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him
unconscious. The liquor store window was made of
Plexiglas.
The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience
store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk
called 911 immediately, and the woman was able
to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher.
They put him in the car and drove back to the store.
The thief was then taken out of the car and told to
stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied,
"Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the
purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man
walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at
5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk

turned him down because he said he couldn't open the

cash register without a food order. When the man

ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't
available for breakfast . The man, frustrated,

walked away.

A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a
motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much
more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the
scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a
motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman
said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline
and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's
sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle
declined to press charges, saying that it was the best
laugh he'd ever had.




Dont know if anything was true but its pretty funny

[Gawain1974]

#3 is my favorite, followed by #4.

[Scarlett]

All of them are hilarious, but #4 is my favorite! LMAO

[pnosko]

Obviously you two didn't board that bus.

[Lordhelmet]

I love the darwin awards.

[Scuba_Dave]

I still like the one from the other year...a guy at the beach on a hot day decides he wants to get out of the sun. So he dug a deep hole & put his lounge chair in & laid down on it.
The sand collapsed on top of him, and lying down, he couldn't force his way up. People nearby were unable to dig him out in time.

[chiliaddik]

#3, 4 and 9 - most hilarious!

[MarkS]

I've heard #9 several times in the past few years. Last time, it was a McDonald's.

I do not think the Darwin Awards does much to check the validity of the entered stories.

[pnosko]

Originally posted by MarkS
I do not think the Darwin Awards does much to check the validity of the entered stories.

It's interesting to note that the official? Darwin Awards website has, as the latest, the 2003 awards.

[Gawain1974]

I thought in order to qualify for the Darwin Awards, the recipient must do his/her best to remove himself from the gene pool--i.e. die in a most stupid way? Either way, these stories crack me up.

[Thurge]

Some pretty funny stories but only two Darwin candidates.

[dinoman]

Originally posted by MarkS
I do not think the Darwin Awards does much to check the validity of the entered stories.

Look a few of them up on snopes, a lot of them are just funny stories that someone with an imagination made up.

[64Ivy]

Though this one sounds wonderfully made up, my favorite Darwin story is about a suicide bomber who used a timing device that was made in a country with time zone 1 hour earlier than his own. The results were...heartwarming.

[clavery]

There was another good one a few years back. A hunter out in the woods notices a 10 point buck on a ledge above the hunter. The hunter points his gun above his head and shoots the deer, which promptly fell off the ledge to the ground below, falling on and killing the hunter!!!!!!

Cheryl

[Reefmaniac1]

Number 10!!!