Important information

[Engine 7]

I thaught I would pass this on to you guys. My mother emailed it to me.



1.) If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic ... simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2.) Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3.) Avoid arguments with the better half about lifting the toilet seat, by simply using the sink.

4.) For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. ...("Remember to use a timer!")

5.) A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6.) If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be too afraid to cough.

7.) Have a bad toothache ? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

8.) Chapped lips ? Rub some fresh chicken poop on them. It won't ease the chapping, but it will keep you from licking them.

9.) Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are. You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

10.) Half the people that you meet are below average.


And finally

Just remember, everyone seems normal until you get to know them! Experts say that one out of every four people suffer from some sort of a mental disorder, so if you have three friends and none of them seem to have a problem .....

"well ..... you do the math!."

[GrandeGixxer]

For the mousetrap alarm clock one, make sure to set the mouse trap before going to sleep or it won't work.

[Engine 7]

Originally posted by GrandeGixxer
For the mousetrap alarm clock one, make sure to set the mouse trap before going to sleep or it won't work.

Noted

[DaveBien]

Whew.... I'm just the THIRD person to post here, so I still have a chance !!!!

[Oblivionis]

You still have a chance to what?? What..... why is everyone looking at me?

[adamjr]

number 1, it takes 3 minutes to boil water in my microwave. How about really warm tap water?

[FiberLux]

Originally posted by DaveBien
Whew.... I'm just the THIRD person to post here, so I still have a chance !!!!