Wacko sister-in-law. Legal advice?

AcroSteve · #1 01/04/2008, 08:37 PM

The wife's brother is getting a divorce. The chick is loony. He has the kids, she has the house and gets them 3hrs a day - 3 times a week.

Kids don't really miss her much, and she does feed them negative things about their father. They are about 3 and 1.

Miss loony tunes has a history of mental instability - possibly staged, but partly due to the way she was raised. She HATES my sister, though she only met her on a couple of occasions. And would take it out on my BIL(brother-in-law) in the car in front of the kids after they left my house. Just and example.

He is still making house payments. Transfer of kids used to be that the BIL and a witness would drop off and pick up from the house. Now it takes place at the sheriff's office. This was decided by the BIL and his family doe to some false claims by the mother of the children.

Loony tunes had a probable arson on her home when she was the only one there. She set fire to her own drapes with a staged candle. She has also called the sheriff several times with false complaints about BIL.

Loony female dog has filed complaints about harassments and threats that are false. BIL has a pretty good position at a state pen. These types of accusations will cause problems with his job. Local Sheriff has the paper's to serve BIL in regards to the female dog's complaints. But basically knows when BIL is at work, and comes during this time as to delay the serving of the papers. We feel because they know she is waco and the claim is groundless.

These are civil complaints, not criminal. But some of the actions she is accusing of would be criminal.

The timing of the complaints are highly suspicious as it took place the day after the BIL removed his clothes and some personal belongings from the house.

BIL's lawyer does not seem to be on top of things, but it is a small town and pickins are slim. Besides, BIL is in deep already with the bill.

How can she have so much power? I can see protecting women if they need it, but this just isn't fair.

Sk8r · #2 01/04/2008, 08:59 PM

From a female, here: no, it is grossly not fair and borders on criminal negligence. BIL should talk to lawyer, maybe seek another court hearing, esp. re arson and mental issues. Demand she have a mental evaluation: her lawyer will insist on one for BIL, we assume he will be fine with this. Possibly involve Child Protective Services and judge. You can get a court order re certain things.

Muttling · #3 01/05/2008, 05:33 AM

BIL need to keep a daily diary of everything. Especially any contact with her, things the children tells him, witnesses to any meeting with her (even peaceful meetings), time he spends with the kids, and money he spends on the kids (for any reason or need.)

Check the local conversation recording laws. Some states allow telephone conversations to be recorded so long as one of the involved knows it is being recorded. In other words, some states would allow him to record their phone conversations without telling her.

Last and certainly not least, follow the court's parenting plan to the freaking letter and clearly document every single deviation from it on her part.

That's about the best I can do, pretty much give her enough rope to hang herself with and let her run.

Nina51 · #4 01/05/2008, 08:17 AM

brother should go straight to the courthouse and file a petition for an emergency order of protection (obviously, it can't be done till monday). in some states, it's called a restraining order. he doesn't need a lawyer for this. if he has anyone who can go with him to back up his claims, all the better.

he should ask for supervised visitation. it sounds like she should not be left alone with the kids. if an emergency OP is granted, the court will select a third party to supervise the visits. this can be a relative or a friend.

the emergency OP would be in effect for a couple of weeks until a hearing takes place for what is called a plenary OP. that is the "permanent" OP that usually stays in effect for two years.

the court will not look kindly on the fact that she is blasting him in front of the kids. most parenting agreements that are incorporated into divorce judgments have specific paragraphs that state that sort of thing is not to be done.

Briankook · #5 01/05/2008, 08:25 AM

Simple solution...don't get married

Altpers0na · #6 01/05/2008, 09:45 AM

if your lawyer isnt 'on the ball' you can get a new one...

BigSkyBart · #7 01/05/2008, 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Briankook
Simple solution...don't breed

^^^^^

there, fixed that for ya

The Grim Reefer · #8 01/05/2008, 11:26 AM

Gads, I know someone who went through something like that except his ex was the dispatcher for the Sherriff's office so for about the first year and a half or so they bought everything she said. I think the ultimate resolution was all charges dropped after one of her friends/coworkers snitched her of the the Sheriff. She had planned to call them out when he went to pick up a couch after he had finally move out. The twit heard him pull up and called 911 while he was in the garage getting the couch. Problem was she didn't look. The Sheriff's office had contacted him and sent a deputy with him to get the couch

Oh, they "let" her resign from her position. Sometimes there is justice.

If SIL and the hubby had friends in common it's worth talking with them to see if they are noticing the nutty behavior. Most people will be honest where kids are involved.

AcroSteve · #9 01/05/2008, 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Nina51
brother should go straight to the courthouse and file a petition for an emergency order of protection (obviously, it can't be done till monday). in some states, it's called a restraining order. he doesn't need a lawyer for this. if he has anyone who can go with him to back up his claims, all the better.

I think that is basically what she has done 1st. He does have a court date on Monday.

Nina51 · #10 01/05/2008, 05:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AcroSteve
I think that is basically what she has done 1st. He does have a court date on Monday.

so, is he the respondent/defendant?

if SHE is granted an order of protection, it will be to his advantage as long as he makes darn sure he has access to his children. he needs to make sure she does not include the children as "protected parties". hopefully, he will keep temporary custody.

when there is an order of protection in effect, it not only orders HIM to stay away/not contact HER, it also works in the other direction. even if SHE is granted the OP, if she initiates contact with him in any way, SHE will be in violation of it.

AcroSteve · #11 01/05/2008, 07:30 PM

I don't know the details, but from what I have heard, if she gets the order as she has requested, if she is somewhere and he enters the same place, he has to leave. If he is there 1st and she enters, he still has to leave.

I imagine he would be the respondent at this point.

She does not seem to be fighting very hard for the kids. She wants them kind of like jewelry. Just so she can say she is a mom.

The Grim Reefer · #12 01/05/2008, 10:27 PM

I'd be amazed if a judge would sign an order like that. I guess crazier things happen.

Nina51 · #13 01/05/2008, 10:46 PM

judges enter orders of protection at the drop of a hat because they don't want blood on their hands should things escalate.

steve, i guess OP's work differently in different places. so many times, we have a woman who wants an OP, it's usually on friday afternoon...gets him out of the house so she can turn some tricks and have a party...then come monday morning, she's on the phone begging him to come back home. by then, he's had a belly full of her and he'll call the office wondering what to do. we always advise him to call law enforcement. she violated it, let HER sit in jail.

SexyShrimp82 · #14 01/09/2008, 01:42 AM

If she has a restraining order in him, he can get one on her. It doesn't matter who did it first, and if she violates her existing order in any way... calls, follows him, etc, she can be arrested regardless of who has the order on the other.

TheBimbo · #15 01/09/2008, 07:41 AM

what a mess, I feel bad for the little ones, it sounds as though he is a wonderful dad and the kids are stuck being with her...

are the little ones in any type of counseling? sounds as though it will be needed...

If he's got to talk to her on the phone- tell her that the only way he'll talk to her is if she agrees to the recording of it, other than that they should speak in person in front of witnesses which would be a difficult thing to do I'd imagine... what a mess...

Christy

AcroSteve · #16 01/09/2008, 09:38 PM

He does have the kids, which is a very good thing.

It just seems like the judge/magistrate is dragging their feet. There was an emergency hearing on Monday, but no ruling.

Muttling · #17 01/09/2008, 10:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AcroSteve

It just seems like the judge/magistrate is dragging their feet. There was an emergency hearing on Monday, but no ruling.

Not really. You must understand that the court's FIRST concern is to not do something wrong. Their second objective is to do something right.

Learn the details of the system and how the game is played, THEN plan your responses carefully. If you go on the assumption that the court will FIRST do what is right, then you are setting yourself up for failure.