Nina...

[BigSkyBart]

hugs & good wishes from Montana

[Sk8r]

This is the rough spot, Nina, and you're entitled---you're entitled to melt down, get mad, throw things, clean things up, melt down again and start some crazy project only you understand why. The hurt does get dimmer, but the memory stays...in time focusing itself more and more on days of health and good times. Thank goodness you've got the lollipop kids and a stableful of crazy horses to keep you on schedule and moving in a good direction.

[Ritten]

That's so true Sk8r, when I lost my dad (he was my best friend) I was really having a hard time (this was a few years ago) Nina told me, the pain won't go away, but it will become tolerable. I had people telling me, that's life get over it . . . move on . . . I'm sure they meant well, but Nina's advice really got me through that period in my life. I just put my feet forward each day and looked for that tolerable place and she was right. I still cry like a baby, but I'm okay, thanks to Nina.

[Nina51]

Originally posted by Ritten
Here is a huge hug from Minnesota Neener. It's so cold here, little Jerry is eating poop again. He seems to like it frozen. Rick thinks it's funny, he calls them poop pops. How is little maggie doing?

maggie's doing better, i think. she seems to be coming out of her shell although she still isn't her normal barky self. like me, i think she just needs more time.

orchids, now you have me wondering! do you think gary was putting rebel up to it?? that stinker!

dave, that's sweet of you to say and i do so appreciate it.

i feel gary all around me. it's strange and i can't even put my finger on it but i do feel him. i was re-programming the furnace today so it doesn't get so warm in here (i kept it warm for gary) and while i was punching in the numbers, i could almost hear him giving me instructions.

i just got back from the cemetery. had a little chat with gary, told him how much i love him and how much i miss him and that i am so glad he is at peace and i told him i'd be ok in time. i even sorta told him a little joke...

whenever we would leave the house together, gary always gave the dogs a cookie and said "you stay here, we'll be RIGHT BACK!". when he got too weak to go anywhere and when i would leave, i'd give the dogs a cookie and tell them "you stay here, i'll be RIGHT BACK!", to which gary would always respond "OK!" i retrieved the "husband" ribbon off of the floral arrangement at the head of his grave and when i turned to walk back to my truck, i told gary "you stay here, i'll be RIGHT BACK!" i know he was smiling down on me, that was his kind of humor.

i didn't even cry this time.

kellie, i keep telling myself i'll be ok and i really do look forward to the day i can wake up and the first thing i remember is a happy moment instead of remembering gary's funeral.

[crp]

I'm sending a big hug your way. Wish I could do more.

[Sk8r]

The good memories will come, with more and more frequency. You'll be sitting in a place you shared, and he'll be there, just all of a sudden. You'll be doing something that brings back a funny memory, and it will get more, not less, real, than the brief dark time you went through.

[blface]

I'm sure Gary realized how lucky he was to have such a devoted & loving wife as yourself. All of us hope that if we were faced with the same terrible circumstances we would be blessed with a spouse as devoted as you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

[Orchids]

Originally posted by Nina51

orchids, now you have me wondering! do you think gary was putting rebel up to it?? that stinker!

dave, that's sweet of you to say and i do so appreciate it.

i feel gary all around me. it's strange and i can't even put my finger on it but i do feel him. i was re-programming the furnace today so it doesn't get so warm in here (i kept it warm for gary) and while i was punching in the numbers, i could almost hear him giving me instructions.

No, I think Rebel is just a bad boy

But I do believe his energy and hence Gary is all around you. How can he not be. I am more Eastern in my beliefs about the departed. I think they are with us all the time, they just pick and choose their times to be felt. I am sure Gary will make himself known to you, most likely he is helping you through your transition and giving back to you what you so selflessly gave to him during his final months.

Vinnie

[Nina51]

Originally posted by Orchids
No, I think Rebel is just a bad boy

But I do believe his energy and hence Gary is all around you. How can he not be. I am more Eastern in my beliefs about the departed. I think they are with us all the time, they just pick and choose their times to be felt. I am sure Gary will make himself known to you, most likely he is helping you through your transition and giving back to you what you so selflessly gave to him during his final months.

Vinnie

i KNOW rebel is just a bad boy!

i've never thought of my beliefs as "eastern" but they are very similar to yours. i've had countless signs over the years that my dad was near. i've had a couple from gary already...the blue sequin and the bluebirds appearing the day after his death, when they had not been here for weeks. how else could i possibly take that?!

something else has happened to me since gary's death. i used to be one of those people who got freaked out in the dark. believe me, out here at night when there is no moonlight, it's darker than the inside of a cow. i used to walk down to burn the trash and always took a big flashlight with me. i always imagined boogey men, strange night creatures stalking me. the more i let my mind wander, the worse it got and i would RUN back to the house...

for the past 2 nights, i have been out past 11 p.m. taking a walk. i feel a calmness. i don't care if it's dark and i can't see my hand in front of my face. gary is with me and because of that, nothing can harm me.

gary took care of me for 11 wonderful years and for several months during that time, he did it all when i was recovering from hip surgeries. it was just a given...i would have taken care of him for another 100 years, given the chance.

[The Grim Reefer]

I am at the age where you start losing a lot of family. In the last ten years or so I lost my dad, stepdad, mom, mother in law (a wonderful lady) and only Uncle. Those are the losses you know you will have to deal with at some point in your life so you can sort of be prepaired. During that same time I also lost my brother and a cousin who I was much closer to than my brother. Those are the loses you don't expect. I have been spared the pain of losing a spouse or child but I have seen it first hand a few times now. Everyone deals with it in their own time and their own way.

All I can tell you Nina is it is going to get better. It's going to happen in your time and your way but it will get better, I promise.

Sending you a scarry ol Grim hug
(actually I am a harmless ball of fluff)

[Nina51]

Originally posted by The Grim Reefer
I am at the age where you start losing a lot of family. In the last ten years or so I lost my dad, stepdad, mom, mother in law (a wonderful lady) and only Uncle. Those are the losses you know you will have to deal with at some point in your life so you can sort of be prepaired. During that same time I also lost my brother and a cousin who I was much closer to than my brother. Those are the loses you don't expect. I have been spared the pain of losing a spouse or child but I have seen it first hand a few times now. Everyone deals with it in their own time and their own way.

All I can tell you Nina is it is going to get better. It's going to happen in your time and your way but it will get better, I promise.

Sending you a scarry ol Grim hug
(actually I am a harmless ball of fluff)

sorry for all the losses grim, there have been many.

i, too, have lost close relatives and friends and i thought i had prepared myself for this. after all, i did have 2 whole years but in the end, nothing could have prepared me. there is not a thing in this world that could have made this loss "easy". yes, i'm happy that gary is no longer weary but the sadness i feel is like no other i have ever felt or ever will feel.

dr. mink called me today. i had called monday and left a message for him to let him know of gary's passing. he was so sweet on the phone, gave me his condolences which i know where from his heart and he told me he was glad we got as much time as we did after diagnosis. he said gary was a real fighter and that he lived much longer than dr. expected and that was probably mainly due to his attitude. i thanked him for everything he has done over the past 21 months and i also thanked him for the extra time i had with gary because without dr. mink, i'm sure that time would have been much, much shorter.

on a happier note...maggie and simon have figured out the steps. i have cuddled with lollipop kids for the past couple of nights. i never knew simon snored like a freight train!

[MandM]

Oh, I like those steps! My little sheltie has a hard time gettin up on the end of the bed sometimes.

I'm glad you had a good visit with Gary today. I'm sure soon you will be up to one day at a time.

[The Grim Reefer]

My mom had a set of steps for her Corgie halfbreed. He has really long fur so it makes it even worse but those short legs don't lend themselves to making it into bed. My sister has managed to spoil the dog absolutly rotten, make that more spoiled rottener then my mom did.

Better the dog snores than farts though

[BigSkyBart]

I'm glad that you have the lollipop kids to cuddle with.
I'm sure Gary is watching over all of you

my moose is way too big to share a bed with, but he sleeps right next to my side of the bed
he "snores" from both ends

[Nina51]

Originally posted by The Grim Reefer
My mom had a set of steps for her Corgie halfbreed. He has really long fur so it makes it even worse but those short legs don't lend themselves to making it into bed. My sister has managed to spoil the dog absolutly rotten, make that more spoiled rottener then my mom did.

Better the dog snores than farts though

maggie farts. i'm doomed!

bart, i have no doubt gary is watching over us. he's probably wondering why i cleaned 4" of snow off of both vehicles a little while ago. he would tell me i can only drive one at a time.

you're so mean. that poor dog is BEGGING to get in your bed.

[petoonia]

I love the doggy steps!! I bet my Cosmo would love a set of those. He can barely make it up onto my daughters twin bed!!!

[pnosko]

Originally posted by Nina51
but now momma ain't happy.

Oh oh. If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy...

[Nina51]

look who shows up when the santa hats come out.

hiyas pete!

[TheBimbo]

Originally posted by pnosko
Oh oh. If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy...

Christy...

[Aliie]

Good Morning Nina. Those steps look like they will get lots of use. Just don't let them end up out at the barn. I can just see Rebel standing on Tuffy's back saying "gitty up".

Maggie farts and Simon snores.................sorry that's just funny

[spoiledcats]

Originally posted by Aliie

Maggie farts and Simon snores.................sorry that's just funny

One keeps you awake so you have to keep smelling the other one's farts. Sounds like a conspiracy to me.

[dc]

Originally posted by spoiledcats
One keeps you awake so you have to keep smelling the other one's farts. Sounds like a conspiracy to me.

[crp]

Well, well, well, Simon sure made himself at home now didn't he? Looks like he put on his "winter" weight

Maggies doesn't fart .... she fluffs!

[Nina51]

Originally posted by crp
Well, well, well, Simon sure made himself at home now didn't he? Looks like he put on his "winter" weight

Maggies doesn't fart .... she fluffs!

honey, when she eats chicken, there ain't no fluffin' about it!

i have to tell you guys...i have an e-friend in australia. i met her at a doggy website when i first went online way back when. chrissie lost a son to a drug overdose several years ago. she and i talked on the phone several times after brandon died. we have so many things in common, it's almost as if we can read each other's minds. she has, of course, been keeping up with gary's illness from the beginning.

i had an e-mail from her last saturday, i think it was. i can't really remember, what with the time difference. she sent it just minutes after gary passed away. all it said was "is everything ok???"...i had not e-mailed her back just because i was so busy and consumed with grief. she was one of the people i was dreading giving the news to. i did e-mail her this week and told her everything.

i got an e-mail this morning. chrissie said that last friday, just about the time gary passed away, she walked into her den and said to her husband "i think my dear friend has lost the love of her life." it just sent chills up my spine.

i went outside this morning and after i did chores, i made a snow angel in the back yard. gary and i always did that after the first snowfall. there are actually two out there but only mine is visible.

[BrianD]

So THAT"S what you were doing. I came to visit you and left because I thought you were having a fit.

Oh, and a word of advice. NEVER make a snow angel in yellow snow.