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  #151  
Old 12/05/2007, 01:03 AM
BigSkyBart BigSkyBart is offline
On "The List"
 
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  #152  
Old 12/05/2007, 07:14 AM
Aliie Aliie is offline
Simply Complicated
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Atlanta, GA
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Nina, you have been granted the 500 line rule. This rule is for Nina and her only. Don't you others think you can get away with this!

You share anything you want at the right time, no rush we wont be going anywhere, but you already knew that
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  #153  
Old 12/05/2007, 08:49 AM
drauka99 drauka99 is offline
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Location: Valparaiso Florida
Posts: 263
Nina - I'm sure I speak for most of us when I say that all throughout yesterday and today our thoughts are with you.

Take your time, put your thoughts together, we will be here when you are ready.
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“The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything.” - Friedrich Nietzsche
  #154  
Old 12/05/2007, 09:52 AM
PoukieBear PoukieBear is offline
Take a number
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 1,185
I got a call from Nina last night at about 10:45pm

She said the funeral went really well, everything was perfect, just the way Gary would have liked it. Flowers were EVERYWHERE she said.

She had a smile in her voice when I talked to her. She seemed upbeat and possitive, and strong. She's been surrounded by people who love her and I think that's a major factor on how she's been getting through this.

I was glad to hear from her, and glad to hear a smile, after all that she's been through.

She said that she'd pop in the lounge and read and catch up on everything that's been going on, so you may see her sometime today.
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Michelle

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not wounded or sick - DEAD !
  #155  
Old 12/05/2007, 10:49 AM
Orchids Orchids is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Bordentown, NJ
Posts: 212
Nina,

This poem brought solace to my father-in-law upon the loss of his wife.


When Tomorrow Starts Without Me
When tomorrow starts without me,
and I'm not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes,
all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry,
the way you did today,
while thinking of the many things,
we didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
as much as I love you,
and each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
please try to understand,
that an Angel came and called my name,
and took me by the hand,
and said my place was ready,
in heaven far above,
and that I'd have to leave behind,
all those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
a tear fell from my eye,
for all life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
so much yet to do,
it seemed almost impossible,
that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
the good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
and all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
just even for awhile,
I'd say goodbye and kiss you and maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized,
that this could never be,
for emptiness and memories,
would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
my heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
from His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity, and all I've promised you".
Today for life on earth is past,
but here it starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
but today will always last,
and since each day's the same day,
there's no longing for the past.
But you have been so faithful,
so trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things,
you knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven and now at last you're free.
So won't you take my hand and share my life with me?
So when tomorrow starts without me,
don't think we're far apart,
for every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart.
David M. Romano Author
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Mirror shatters, in formless reflections of matter . . .
  #156  
Old 12/05/2007, 10:50 AM
Nina51 Nina51 is offline
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Location: 5th floor, Illinois
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thanks, poukiemydear. sorry that was such a late call, i was frantic because i couldn't reach that other guy.

i'm alone now. john and melissa just left to go back to the city. john said he'd be back this afternoon to spend the night. i told him that wasn't necessary. i really need some alone time. i hate to break down in front of people and john sat on the bed yesterday when i was melting down. i could not stop crying but it wasn't the sort of "from the toes" crying that i wanted to do. i can't figure out why but i'm told this is normal...i have dealt with gary's death since friday at 8:15 p.m. why, just because i had to put him in the cold ground, did reality hit me so hard yesterday?

oftentimes, throughout the day yesterday, i would hear something funny or see the kids doing something funny or remember something that happened earlier in the day and i would think to myself "ohhh, i gotta remember to tell gary, he'll get SUCH a kick out of that..." and then it hits me, gary isn't here to tell things to.

i can't imagine ever being at peace myself. maybe some day i will be able to think of him and not feel such profound sadness but for now, i am just so damn sad. i still can't believe he's really really gone.

poukie's right, the services were perfect. everything went perfectly, gary would have loved...no, that's not right...gary DID love how it went. i will elaborate more later and tell you a few things that happened, many of which made me smile, but for now i think since i am alone, i'm just gonna go cry.

love to you all, i owe you so much! nina xoxoxo
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of all the things i've lost, i miss my gary the most.
  #157  
Old 12/05/2007, 10:57 AM
Misled Misled is offline
Movin On Up
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: The East Side
Posts: 900
Go ahead and cry. Just to let you know I've been thinking of you today, we got a bit of snow this morning. Hope this makes you giggle a little bit.

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I want to be a bear turd when I grow up. ~ Bart

All butts must be sniffed for identification purposes. ~ Mutt

Tequila makes my clothes fall off ~ crp
  #158  
Old 12/05/2007, 11:00 AM
Conceyted Conceyted is offline
Yep, that's our sailfin!
 
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LMAO now thats what I call talent. I could never do that so perfectly as you did.
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  #159  
Old 12/05/2007, 11:05 AM
dkh0331 dkh0331 is offline
Grampa Extroardinaire
 
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Location: Close to the edge, down by a river
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Quote:
Originally posted by Misled
Go ahead and cry. Just to let you know I've been thinking of you today, we got a bit of snow this morning. Hope this makes you giggle a little bit.

As Frank Zappa sang -

"don't you eat that yellow snow"

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Too young for Medicare

Too old for women to care
  #160  
Old 12/05/2007, 11:10 AM
Nina51 Nina51 is offline
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Location: 5th floor, Illinois
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OMG jesse, i'm laughing through my tears! did you hold it all night so you'd have enough??
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of all the things i've lost, i miss my gary the most.
  #161  
Old 12/05/2007, 11:13 AM
crzy4reefs crzy4reefs is offline
i'm here for you two
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: RI
Posts: 2,199
omg tell me you didn't do that LOL, that's the funniest thing i've seen,


nina go cry let it all out and yes you do need some alone time to collect your thoughts and what ever else you might need to do.

Glad all went well for gary I know he's happy with how things went
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where are we going? and why am i in this handbasket??


A wedding? I love weddings! Drinks all around! "Cap'n jack sparrow"
  #162  
Old 12/05/2007, 11:28 AM
Nina51 Nina51 is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: 5th floor, Illinois
Posts: 138
i have so much to do today and i won't rest till all thank-you notes are written, stamped and ready to mail but for now, i need to straighten things up around here. we're all meeting at nana's when cheri gets home from work later this afternoon and will have an assembly line going.

i'll pop in and out with some thoughts today but i wanted you to know about the "signs" i got from gary...

yesterday on our way to the funeral home to view him, i stopped at the mailbox to pick up the morning paper. as soon as i opened the door of the van, i heard a bluebird singing. this is the 2nd or 3rd time since gary's death that i have either seen or heard a bluebird. i know it was gary giving me a sign.

there were SO many flower sprays left over that we ended up with at least 9 or 10 at nana's house. gary's grave was completely covered with flowers so they brought the rest back to us. cheri and i took some of them apart and made up HUGE vases for people to take home. we still had several sprays left so she and john and i took them back out to the cemetery before it got dark. we put some around gary's grave and the others we put on the graves of cheri's dad and gary's 2 nephews....

while i was cleaning up our kitchen last evening, i was fussing with some of the flowers. remember when i found some sequins on the floor and i accused gary of having a belly dancer in while i was at work a while back? i started to wipe the kitchen counter off and i found a sequin. just one. i tore those flowers apart thinking the florist perhaps used sequins to decorate. i did not find a single other one. just one blue sequin on my kitchen counter. i have no idea where it came from but somehow, gary managed to make it appear. it was a sign from him, i am sure!

how else could you explain those things??

orchids, i will go back and read that when my eyes aren't quite so puffy.

more later....
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of all the things i've lost, i miss my gary the most.
  #163  
Old 12/05/2007, 11:29 AM
PoukieBear PoukieBear is offline
Take a number
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 1,185
I never knew you were so talented Jesse!!
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Michelle

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not wounded or sick - DEAD !
  #164  
Old 12/05/2007, 11:35 AM
crp crp is offline
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Location: Clay, New York
Posts: 1,315
Hang in there Nina. Take care of yourself. I'm only a phone call away.
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-- Carrie --

Oh shut up, and kiss my fairy wrasse. ~Gawain1974~

silly girls make stuff hard ~drauka99~
  #165  
Old 12/05/2007, 11:37 AM
crp crp is offline
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Location: Clay, New York
Posts: 1,315
Oh and It's Me -- CRP/CARRIE
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-- Carrie --

Oh shut up, and kiss my fairy wrasse. ~Gawain1974~

silly girls make stuff hard ~drauka99~
  #166  
Old 12/05/2007, 11:39 AM
Nina51 Nina51 is offline
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Location: 5th floor, Illinois
Posts: 138
ummmm...yeah...ok, carrie.

this is what i did with some of gary's flowers...this is our cowboy coffee pot. he would approve.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

these are just some of the beautiful roses...

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
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of all the things i've lost, i miss my gary the most.
  #167  
Old 12/05/2007, 11:42 AM
Kevomac Kevomac is offline
Ha! I finally hit 500!
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Mesquite, Tx.
Posts: 548
Nina,

I've been away from the lounge for a while, and I cannot belive I missed all of this. Thank you so much for reminding me of how much my wife means to me. You truly are an inspiration to us all. I'm gonna try to send a pm, hope your inbox isn't full.
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"I reject your reality and substitute my own"

Mythbusters
  #168  
Old 12/05/2007, 01:02 PM
blu iz blu iz is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Birmingham AL
Posts: 59
Nina, I am glad everything was perfectyesterday. You know you have a lot of shoulders in here to cry on, so don't hesitate to use them.
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"Living proof of the blonde myth"


Amy
  #169  
Old 12/05/2007, 01:10 PM
Nina51 Nina51 is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: 5th floor, Illinois
Posts: 138
i thought about starting a new thread but i think i will just continue here because i'm sure everybody is checking in here...

last night, i got the guest book out because i wanted to see who all came to gary's visitation and who i might have missed seeing. tucked inside the book was an envelope with a card in it. it was addressed to "charlene/nina" so i knew it had to be from the loungers....

i opened the card to find a heartfelt message from "the 5th floor". i also found a sum of cash that almost made me fall outta my chair. there were no specific names, just the hand written note and the cash.....

i am using this post solely to give thanks to all of you who contributed. since i can't thank each and every one of you personally, i will have to do it here. i called uh_oh last night and i accused him, rightfully so, of giving this envelope to the funeral director with instructions to tuck it away for me to find later. i talked to uh_oh last night and he would neither confirm nor deny my suspicions so that only leads me to believe he is guilty as charged....

under the circumstances, i'll let him off the hook. i do SO wish i could have opened this card in his presence but i'm satisfied that he knew i would have had another meltdown had i done that and he wanted to avoid that.

there is also a notation in the card that a living memorial in the form of a red maple tree will be delivered to me in april to plant in memory of my beloved gary. i will have several months to select just the right spot for gary's tree. i will have it planted where i will be able to see it out my window and i will be able to watch the robins build a nest in it some day. i cannot begin to tell you what a fitting tribute this will be to gary. gary LOVED this land almost as much as he loved me. to have a living tribute to him and to watch it grow and thrive will bring me years and years of enjoyment. you could not have picked a better idea!!!

so, here i am to humbly give my thanks to each and every one of you who thought enough of me and of my sweet gary to honor us and especially him in such a loving way. words simply fail me. "thank you" does not even come close but i don't know what else to say.

i love you all like family and as many times as i tried to tell uh_oh yesterday how much you have helped me through this whole experience, words failed me then as they do now.

charlene
xoxoxoxo
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of all the things i've lost, i miss my gary the most.
  #170  
Old 12/05/2007, 01:41 PM
skippy2 skippy2 is offline
forever newbie
 
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Location: S.W. Michigan
Posts: 2,613
What an absolutely thoughtful tribute from the loungers. I wish I had known so I could have contributed.
I think of you and Gary often Nina. Been there and done that 20 yrs. ago so I do know kinda of what you are going through. 1 day at a time, dear, is all I can suggest. Lean on John, he needs you to
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  #171  
Old 12/05/2007, 01:54 PM
crzy4reefs crzy4reefs is offline
i'm here for you two
 
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I wish I had known about this as well, i would have defiantly contributed. Do hope all is well and i'm still thinking of you, take care
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where are we going? and why am i in this handbasket??


A wedding? I love weddings! Drinks all around! "Cap'n jack sparrow"
  #172  
Old 12/05/2007, 04:47 PM
skeletor121 skeletor121 is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Fredericksburg, VA
Posts: 49
So sorry to hear about your loss. I haven't checked in very much since last Thursday due to a surgery and just started catching up on this post. If I had known anything about this I would also have contributed.
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"You got nothing, you got nothing to say.
There's nothing in your head but your mouth keeps flapping anyway.
You better stop, stop, stop, stop look and listen." -Rollins Band
  #173  
Old 12/05/2007, 05:38 PM
Nina51 Nina51 is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: 5th floor, Illinois
Posts: 138
oh shanna and scott and anybody else...i never intended to leave anybody out! because i didn't have specific names, i felt the only way was to post a blanket-thank-you. RC is such a HUGE community, there is no way everybody could have known everything that was going on or being done.

if you feel you would like to contribute, nothing would please me more than to have you give your donation in gary's name to the kidney cancer association or any other cancer organization you would like to contribute to.

Kidney Cancer Association
1234 Sherman Avenue, Suite 203
Evanston, IL 60202-1375

believe me, NOTHING else other than what has already been done is necessary anyway! just your love and support and prayers for gary is more than enough!!! i am convinced that the prayers of the loungers went a long way in God's plan to let gary pass peacefully.
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of all the things i've lost, i miss my gary the most.

Last edited by Nina51; 12/05/2007 at 05:58 PM.
  #174  
Old 12/05/2007, 09:50 PM
Ritten Ritten is offline
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Posts: 1,205
Hope you are alright tonight Nina. This must be a really difficult night. If you need to talk or cry or anything, just give me a call.
  #175  
Old 12/05/2007, 10:03 PM
Nina51 Nina51 is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: 5th floor, Illinois
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Quote:
Originally posted by Ritten
Hope you are alright tonight Nina. This must be a really difficult night. If you need to talk or cry or anything, just give me a call.
i'm ok kellie. this wasn't such a great day and last night really sucked. i did pretty ok yesterday and i didn't really lose it till the piper started playing "amazing grace" at gary's graveside.

but last night and today, i can't seem to stop crying. i have such a sinus headache from all the snot in my head. i called my mom today and asked her why, all of a sudden, i can't hold myself together. she said it's because the funeral was such a "finality". i guess i have been so busy trying to make sure every little thing was perfect for gary's services, that i didn't have TIME to break down. now that it's over, i am left with an unimaginable empty feeling.

it doesn't do me any good to call anybody because all i do is blubber. me and nana, we blubbered together for hours today. i was trying to be strong for her and she was trying to be strong for me and we both said oh the hell with it and we just let 'er rip. who knew hysteria would be so therapeutic?

i am taking things one hour at a time now. this morning, it was one minute at a time. maybe some day it will be one day at a time but i think that might be a ways off yet.
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of all the things i've lost, i miss my gary the most.
 

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