Dear dogs and cats.........

[chiliaddik]

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print on them are yours, and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note; placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and actually manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered.

I have been using the bathroom for years--canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture .)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's just an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours, and does not speak clearly.

And Remember:

Dogs and cats are better than kids because they: eat less, don't
ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for college.

[TheBimbo]

That's really cute... I've read the last part of that but never the first part... Thanks for the laugh...


TheBimbo

[chiliaddik]

I love the *fur*niture part!

[clavery]

Originally posted by chiliaddik
I love the *fur*niture part!

yeah, i was gonna tell you the same thing. haha. now i don't feel as if i have to vacuum up the hair all the time.

thanks, tanya, i needed a good excuse!!!!!

cheryl

[chiliaddik]

I love the *The live here - YOU DON'T* part too!

[efroggies]

That is so great and so true!

[chiliaddik]

Hi efroggies! You live in Sunbury??? I was just there in late July...course I visit there a lot. Some of my really good friends live there! I love Sunbury because of it's little hometown aura! That guy over at the Whistlestop is so cool!!!

[catdoc]

Great!! I'll copy that out to share with everyone at work. Thanks!

[dogfacepuffer]

That letter is so true!
We have a sign hanging in our house that says "Pets Welcome...Children must be on a leash"

[chiliaddik]

Originally posted by dogfacepuffer
That letter is so true!
We have a sign hanging in our house that says "Pets Welcome...Children must be on a leash"

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I have to get one of those signs!!!

[Instant Karma]

AMENNN to that!