My wife poured teriyaki sauce into my tank

[doomicon]

Originally posted by HBtank
If you do not have kids, cut and run.

Agree. Unless you find this type of immature, self-centered, and disrespectful behavior attractive... run. It's not going to change. Get a bigger tank and give it time, she'll pour a gallon of bleach in it.

good luck.

[doomicon]

Originally posted by snuggle2me
humm .. lets see.. 3 of your options suggest some sort of physical abuse to your spouse. granted what she did was awful but this could be the end result of possible abuse on your part and her final reaction to rebelling against you. she may be the one that was physically abused and the only way she could see it in her eyes is to hurt you by destroying something she felt would hurt you more then what you have done to her.. most of the replies so far have slammed the wife but none of us actually know what is going on in his household. there are some issues that you need to deal with and ignoring your wife at this point is not the route to go. maybe you guys will last or maybe not. its not for us to judge. but this thread really needs to be locked or deleted or something. from the looks of it, its only going to get worse replies. asking a giant community like this what you should do to your wife is wrong. please get some help for you both. and like others have said i really hope no children are at harms way in this relationship.

No we don't know. I am just using the facts provided by the OP. I am not making any assumptions.

[gkarshens]

Originally posted by virginiadiver69
It is actually less than 5%. Maybe your quote was just a typo.

Here is an excerpt from the Census Bureau report, with a link to the full report:

"The National Center for Health Statistics recently released a report which found that 43
percent of first marriages end in separation or divorce within 15 years. The study is based on
the National Survey of Family Growth, a nationally representative sample of women age 15 to
44 in 1995. Bramlett, Matthew and William Mosher. "First marriage dissolution, divorce, and
remariage: United States," Advance Data From Vital and Health Statistics; No.323. Hyattsville
MD: National Center for Health Statistics: 2 1.

"Data in the Census report were collected from both men and women, age 15 and over, and a
different methodology was used than in the NCHS report.

"About 50% of first marriages for men under age 45 may end in
divorce, and between 44 and 52% of women's first marriages
may end in divorce for these age groups. The likelihood of a divorce
is lowest for men and women age 60, for whom 36 % of men
and 32 percent of women may divorce from their first marriage by
the end of their lives. A similar statistical exercise was performed in
1975 using marital history data from the Current Population Survey
(CPS). Projections based on those data implied that about one-third of
married persons who were 25 to 35 years old in 1975 would end their
first marriage in divorce.

"This cohort of people, who in 1996 were about 45 to 55 years old, had
already exceeded these projections as about 40% of men and
women in these ages had divorced from their first marriage. Current
projections now indicate that the proportion could be as high as
50% for persons now in their early forties."
Rose M. Kreider and Jason M. Fields, "Number, Timing, and Duration of
Marriages and Divorces: 1996", U.S. Census Bureau Current Population Reports, February 2002,

[RichConley]

Originally posted by old95er


Divorce is a pathetic suggestion. You made a commitment "until you are parted by death" That should not be taken lightly.

Nor are the vows to love one another. The wife assaulted him. She has already broken the marriage vows.

[cowboyswife]

Wow, I cant believe she did that! Im with the superglue and buttckeeks idea.

[tkeracer619]

Originally posted by HBtank
If you do not have kids, cut and run.

Ditto =] or else one day you might not wake up.....

[raskal311]

If you’re going to start a bigger tank after that then I would just go ahead and have the divorce papers ready as well. It would be obvious that you have other priority…. Fix the tank and take her out to diner.

Or better yet, let the tank go to hell and spend some time with her. I bet you anything that if you do that she’ll feel bad enough o pay for an upgrade.



What do you think the cops are going to do about it? She owns half the tank!!!

[davidryder]

Frick-N-Frags, I read the whole thread... been here from start to finish. I must be missing something. Are you talking about the two statistics: number of divorces a year and number of marriages ending in divorce? If so how are either of those skewed?

Rich - isn't that a little dramatic? You've concluded that she doesn't love her husband anymore because she poured a condiment in his aquarium?

[jman77]

"nail her favorite shoes to the floor
replace birthcontrol with sweettarts if aplicable"

Are you nuts.... do you actually think she will get screwed if she gets pregnant.... I take it you don't know how much child support is ....

[Tang Salad]

Originally posted by davidryder
isn't that a little dramatic?

Did someone say dramatic?

After reading this thread I get the feeling RC is holding World's Biggest Drama Queen auditions.

Does the winner get a Deltec or something?

[Nomadic]

LOL, jman77

[burton14e7]

If we have 100 marriages how do 50% of men get divorced and only 44% women. Something isn't adding up for me. Are we counting some of those crazy Utah folk with multiple wifes in that number? I don't think we had gay marriages in 95 to allow for more men to get divorced than women. But seeing how it takes 2 to get married I would have thought the numbers would be equal.

[davidryder]

Originally posted by burton14e7
If we have 100 marriages how do 50% of men get divorced and only 44% women. Something isn't adding up for me. Are we counting some of those crazy Utah folk with multiple wifes in that number? I don't think we had gay marriages in 95 to allow for more men to get divorced than women. But seeing how it takes 2 to get married I would have thought the numbers would be equal.

The answer to your question is in your first sentence

Crazy Utah folk? All I can say is wow... We should nominate this for the Post of the Month

[Tang Salad]

This thread is sooooooo locked!

[blueseahorse]

I will personally volunteer to be your new, TANK-LOVING WIFE. I make a lot of money, I am crazy about salt-water aquariums and I study marine biology. I took such a great interest in my ex-boyfriend's tank, I even wanted a tank of my own. I spent hours with him asking how it works, what is that plant, what is that aglae, why does that fish not like that other fish...I even drove 40 miles in heavy traffic to get him RO water from his LFS when he was sick, which I could barely carry those big bottles.

I will promise you many gift certificates to your LFS, hours upon hours of "Tank-Gazing" at night and I would never, ever, EVER harm a living creature. I would support you and your hobby no matter what, because it is what you love and it's important to you!

I feel for you and I think we all would really like an update on the tank, but you are probably too busy trying to fix it or are overwhelmed with the responses to this post.

GOOD LUCK, HONEY!!!

[RichConley]

Originally posted by davidryder

Rich - isn't that a little dramatic? You've concluded that she doesn't love her husband anymore because she poured a condiment in his aquarium?

Again, would you be saying the same thing if she stabbed his dog?

She knowingly tried to kill his pets. Shes already broken the marriage vows.

[RichConley]

Originally posted by burton14e7
If we have 100 marriages how do 50% of men get divorced and only 44% women. Something isn't adding up for me. Are we counting some of those crazy Utah folk with multiple wifes in that number? I don't think we had gay marriages in 95 to allow for more men to get divorced than women. But seeing how it takes 2 to get married I would have thought the numbers would be equal.

Because men and women aren't equally as likely to remarry.

Man A and Woman A are both married, both on their first marriage. They get divorced. Man A marries "young sexy 18year old trophy wife"

We now have 100% (1 of 1) first marriage divorce rate in men, 50% first marriage divorce rate in women (1 of 2).

[davidryder]

Originally posted by RichConley
Again, would you be saying the same thing if she stabbed his dog?

She knowingly tried to kill his pets. Shes already broken the marriage vows.

"Oh well she did something to spite me, she broke the vows!!! DIVORCE!!"

Are we comparing fish to a dog? And she didn't stab the fish, she polluted the water. It wasn't bleach or some noxious chemical - it was high fructose corn syrup and spices. LOL this whole thread is a joke!

[RichConley]

Originally posted by davidryder
"Oh well she did something to spite me, she broke the vows!!! DIVORCE!!"

Are we comparing fish to a dog? And she didn't stab the fish, she polluted the water. It wasn't bleach or some noxious chemical - it was high fructose corn syrup and spices. LOL this whole thread is a joke!

Why do you think fish are any differnt than a dog? Theyre both loved pets.

As to Teryaki sauce, this isnt functionally different from intentionally pouring a whole can of flake food in the tank. That'll kill the fish too.


Its a fundamental lack of respect for the other person being shown here. Its spousal abuse, in the most classic way. Would you be telling a woman to work it out if her husband was beating her?

This will only get worse. She'll keep being abusive, and the abuse will keep getting worse.

[r0bin]

If this post in serious which I question, then marriage counseling is in order.

[KurtsReef]

Was the teriyaki sauce next too the rotifers in the fridge...come on this could have been an honest mistake.

Or, she was simply hungry and starting dinner.

[Navyblue]

Or put your rotifier in the teriyaki sauce bottle? If there is a next time.

Kidding aside, she needs to learn to express her emotion in a mature way. And so is your method of venting your frustration. No offence to you or the RC community, but personally I won't seek marriage counsels in a "Reef Discussion" forum.

[pluvialis]

Thanks for all your support. I had no idea you guys would show so much interest in the thread. Its been a rough weekend. I did a 100% water change immediately using NSW. I live in the tropics. I dont know how the animals are doing. I have not been home much and have lost interest in the tank recently. I think the galaxia got the most concentrated dose of teriyaki. I saw it covered in a brown cloud of teriyaki. I have not spoken to my wife since. If you seen pics of my tank or seen it in person this would be a different thread about forensics. I dont care about vows at this point, she broke my heart. I would have preferred her to cut my throat than killing my tank that I spent countless hours and thousands $ . Once this is all over with, Im going to focus on finding a girl that is interested in reefkeeping or maybe just give up women all together. Thanks for the offer blueseahorse!

[ralphie16]

Originally posted by pluvialis
Once this is all over with, Im going to focus on finding a girl that is interested in reefkeeping or maybe just give up women all together.

did not realize sexuality is a choice. all of the people i know who are gay were born that way. but good luck with the dudes. hope you find a cute one that like reefing just like you.

[reefshadow]

Ummmm, lets not go there. Besides, I think he meant being single.

Good luck to you Pluvialis. You know your relationship better than any of us and will do the right thing for YOU.