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#152
11/13/2007, 05:37 PM
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Nina, I have never had to deal with this particular issue in my life and I must admit that I'm having a hard time with this even though I don't know him, so please don't be offended if I don't post something appropriate.
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I drank some fish food but is OK cause it tasted GOOD ~ vr697getta The little men that live behind my eyes and scream into my brain told me to tell you hi. |
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#153
11/13/2007, 06:04 PM
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Nina you're strength is an insperation to all of us. I am finally able to read all of the posts, and trying to hold back tears here at work. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us posted.
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"Living proof of the blonde myth" Amy |
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#154
11/13/2007, 08:03 PM
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I've spent the past few days reading this thread, trying to think of something special to say. I'm not good at verbalizing...even thru a keyboard
I've always thought of the people I "know" here on RC as family My Uncle had cancer, he went on for over 12 years? in his battle So long that in a way I just thought he would keep going. When he finally passed on I was somewhat taken by surprise. I shoudl have known when he didn't make get togethers. It was not talked about much, he had been fighting so long I was unaware of his decline. I think because of this it hit me harder then it did his own family The other side of the big C I saw at work. A contractor who was going to be hired FT went out sick. We found out he had cancer, it seemed he was better & would be coming back to work. The next week we received a phone call to say he was gone...it was a matter of 3 weeks I think I feel like I am losing an Uncle How do I even explain to my wife ? She knows I've been upset, but I haven't told her why I was hoping Nina that Gary would carry on like my Uncle You know that your family is here for you.... God bless you both.... I saw this on a Christmas site & thought of the two of you What are the chances of a car turning around in a driveway & creating this ? 
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#155
11/13/2007, 08:59 PM
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Quote:
Cheryl
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If the shoe fits, buy another pair!!! |
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#159
11/13/2007, 11:33 PM
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Nina, I don't know what to say. I'm so very sorry that you and Gary are going through this. It's so incredibly unfair that your time is being cut short, I'm so very sad for you both. I've been thinking about both of you quite a lot lately, and this is the one post I didn't want to see. I pray that Gary stays pain-free, and that you can continue to be as strong as you have been. After reading so many threads about you guys and your wonderful zoo, I can't stop crying at the thought that someone so wonderful is about to leave us all. God bless you both.
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"The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears, or the sea." - Isak Dinesen |
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#160
11/14/2007, 03:04 AM
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i hope that this is as peacefull and as pain free as posoble
my heart goes out to you and gary
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god created fishing to preoccupy all the real geniuses and make it fair so the idiots can run the world. Jack |
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#161
11/14/2007, 07:51 AM
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Quote:
gary is officially a hospice patient. the hospice people have taken over his care although dr. ansari still sees him and he has the same wonderful nurses taking care of him. we are shooting for friday or saturday to bring him home to nana's, they are all working on the best pain control methods and should have a plan very soon. we have it all planned where we will put his bed, he'll have his own room but he'll be able to see out into the living room and watch the activity. AND...nana told me yesterday that she'll let me bring the lollipop kids in to see him. nana has always thought that a dog's place is OUTside but she's gonna make an exception. she's too funny...when i asked if i could bring them in the house, she gave me "that look" and then just laughed and said of course.  gary is very weak but he was able to take a few sips of water this morning. the hospice nurses talked at length with me and nana yesterday and explained all of the end-of-life goings on we will most likely experience. the last question they asked me was if we had decided on a funeral home. i have had this in the back of my mind for some time but i have not wanted to mention it out loud. i will talk to nana today and we will decide. the only thing i have decided on for sure is that my flowers to him will have that pretty ribbon that says something about "loving husband". even though gary and i have never tied the knot in the traditional sense, he has always told me that we are married in our hearts and that's what matters the most.  dave...that picture!!! how sweet of you to think of us! and speaking of pictures, i have a very special picture to share with you all as soon as i can. i don't know if i'll go home for a bit today but if i don't, i will do it just as soon as i can. for now, i'll keep you in suspense but when you see it, you will see how much this man is loved.  must go, i will check in when i can. love & hugs to you all!! nina
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of all the things i've lost, i miss my gary the most. |
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#162
11/14/2007, 08:15 AM
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take your time Nina we'll be here. Christy
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i look damn good in it too, i'll have you know- Nina... Look at all those forced smiles. They probably all hate each other!- Debi... She can kick all their butts and can write her name in the snow in cursive!- CRP... so...what are you wearing...? panties...? lace panties...? that's what I'm wearing - ScubaDave and the telemarketer... Life can be short, just like me... Live it to the fullest!!! Family is always there for you NO matter what, just like a "true friend" would be... A cheat is a cheat, and are always busted... |
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#164
11/14/2007, 10:10 AM
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Nina, if the world could have what you and Gary have this would be one heck of a place.
We're here when you need us. Give the ol' phone a ringy-dingy and we're all yours for as long as you need us.
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"I'm not closed minded. You're just wrong!" - Bucky Katt "If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy." - Red Green |
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#165
11/14/2007, 10:24 AM
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cute pic for Nina. Perhaps a little smile for her day....
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~~~Emily~~~ In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be semihuman. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog. - Edward Hoagland |
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#166
11/14/2007, 02:19 PM
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TTT
still sending good thoughts your way,
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where are we going? and why am i in this handbasket?? A wedding? I love weddings! Drinks all around! "Cap'n jack sparrow" |
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#167
11/14/2007, 02:58 PM
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Quote:
How can you not smile at that? Look at those big ol' ears! Very cute. Thoughts and prayers winging their way to Marshmallow Acres.
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"I'm not closed minded. You're just wrong!" - Bucky Katt "If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy." - Red Green |
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#168
11/14/2007, 03:28 PM
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For me the true measure of one’s life is at the end when the question is asked “Was he kind, did he do good?”
He loves you, so I think the answer is yes. You two are in my thoughts.
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Of course I could be completely mistaken. Ed: "I hate to tell you this Dr., but there aren't any fish in that river. In fact, there isn't any river." Dr. Lao: "That's ok. Me no use bait." |
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#169
11/14/2007, 03:37 PM
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emily, that's gotta be just about the cutest baby animal i have EVER seen and it did, indeed, make me smile!
we have a plan. gary will be switched over to a dilaudid pump tomorrow morning. they see no reason why it would not control his pain and they will also include liquid morphine for breakthrough pain. gary is unable to take anything by mouth any longer. a few sips of water is all he can manage and even then, i had to cut the straw in half because he doesn't have the strength to suck hard enough to get it up to his mouth through a long straw. he is becoming unresponsive very quickly. about the only time he is "awake" is the 30 minutes before his next shot is due. he becomes a little agitated and will respond to me if i ask for a kiss or if i ask if he wants a shot. the nurses are very good about coming right in with his meds. we are hoping to bring him home friday or saturday. i can't wait to get him into familiar surroundings! i am so hoping he will be aware enough to realize he is HOME but even if he doesn't, it will still be better for us all. the hospice people are wonderful and have assured us that they will be at our beck and call so i am confident we can do this. it's scary but my nana knows the drill. oh yeah, that picture...you know those boards they have on the wall in each hospital room where the nurses write their names when they come on duty? gary's sis-in-law erased gary's board saturday night to give us all a clear slate. this is what we now have on gary's wall...   see? i told you, and this is proof, that he is loved passionately by so many people. it's just too bad the board isn't 10 times the size. we could have easily filled it with more names. these are just the names of the people who came over the past couple of days to see him. and of course, i included the most important people to ME, too. can you see? me, i'm charlene, and you all are right there with me. love & hugs to you all and i promise to answer pm's as soon as i can!
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of all the things i've lost, i miss my gary the most. |
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#170
11/14/2007, 04:17 PM
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awe, that is great.. I spotted the Rc loungers and it brought a smile to my face..
=)
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I'm growing older but not up... A person can solve a lot of problems by FIRST using a QT tank.. QT all new fish. |
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#171
11/14/2007, 04:40 PM
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Nina, you are so sweet to include us on the board. Thank you for that.
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"I wanna know what I've been hiding, in my shadow"-m.j.k. "well here we are, Mr. Pilgrim, trapped in the amber of this moment. There is no why." |
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#172
11/14/2007, 05:09 PM
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Seeing the RC Loungers scribbled on theboard was priceless.
Nina, I hope that you realize that you and Gary have taught us all so so much about living and dying. I am in awe of the both of you. Your charm, grace and bluntness and vulnerability has left a mark on us all. Nancy
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"Having children is like being pecked to death by a duck" |
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#174
11/14/2007, 05:28 PM
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kelliemydear, my life has been changed by you guys as much as your lives have been changed by me and gary. i have been inspired by you all to be strong and willful.
after the last visitor left, i studied the board to find just the right spot to include all of you. you are nestled right there between me and john and melissa. that is right where you fit, among the most important people in my life. i'm leaving to go back to the hospital. nana wants me to stop by and approve the arrangements she has made for gary's bed. oh yeah right, like i'm gonna tell her it's wrong! :O xoxoxoxo i will check in tomorrow morning, if i can. love to you all. nina
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of all the things i've lost, i miss my gary the most. |
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#175
11/14/2007, 07:36 PM
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I recently went through this with my beloved mother. Moving Gary to home and hospice care is the best thing you can do for him and yourself at this point. While in the hospital, the doctors refused to give my mother enough medication to control her pain...they were afraid she'd get "hooked" on morphine....there are no words to describe the level of stupidity that phrase invokes. Having her home allowed me to lay in bed with her, hold her hand, stroke her hair and reminisce of years gone by and happy times. Gary is about to embark on a journey that he must make alone and on his own terms. The best you can do at this point is to let him know that it is okay to lay his burden down, that you love him and you will be okay. Right now you are like the person standing on a pier and watching a ship set sail. It is carrying your loved one on the start of a journey you cannot make yourself. And as you stand watching, you eventually see the ship sail over the horizon and out of sight. That does not mean the ship is no longer there, it just means you can no longer see it. Much like that ship, Gary will not be gone...he will just be out of sight.
When the time came for my mother's passing, I will never forget the look of surprise and joy that crossed her face as the veil between this world and the next lifted, and she crossed over with a sigh as soft as an angels kiss. To be free of these worldly burdens and once again to embrace those who had gone before her...never to be separated again. For the first time today I hit the new button on RC. I was drawn to this post because my name is....Nina. And after reading this thread I had to tell you that I pray you will have a host of angels watching over both of you in the difficult time ahead...on earth they are simply called "FRIENDS!". Bless you... For myself I have made plans with Eternal Reefs...what could be better than to spend eternity at the bottom of the ocean, becoming part of that piece of serenity we always wanted, covered with corals and watching fish play tag...
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Join the fight to stop Puppy Mills...DON'T SHOP....ADOPT!!! |
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