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#1
12/07/2007, 04:54 PM
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When a squirrel looks at you like....
"I am Massa of Kung Fu"
 It's no wonder you can always hear Fatty screaming from the other room. 
__________________
"I and the public know What all schoolchildren learn, Those to whom evil is done Do evil in return." “Those things that nature denied to human sight, she revealed to the eyes of the soul.” |
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#6
12/07/2007, 05:21 PM
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Richardson's Ground Squirrels actually...
And they are two different squirrels  The first one is always mean to the 2nd one, so she's forever screaming and baring her teeth to him.
__________________
"I and the public know What all schoolchildren learn, Those to whom evil is done Do evil in return." “Those things that nature denied to human sight, she revealed to the eyes of the soul.” |
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#7
12/07/2007, 05:22 PM
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__________________
"I and the public know What all schoolchildren learn, Those to whom evil is done Do evil in return." “Those things that nature denied to human sight, she revealed to the eyes of the soul.” |
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#8
12/07/2007, 05:23 PM
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Quote:
Lol, thanks for the name. I never heard of them before. A google search yielded this: "They are sometimes confused with their relatives the prairie dogs. " 
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-Mike- "There either is or there isn't life out there. Both possibilites are frightening." (someone help me out - who said this?) |
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#9
12/07/2007, 05:41 PM
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Fried Squirrel with Mushroom Gravy
Sent in by DC ~ 3 squirrels, cut into serving pieces ~ flour ~ salt and pepper ~ 2 eggs, beaten ~ 3 – 4 pieces bacon, chopped ~ 1 medium onion, chopped ~ 1 can cream of mushroom soup ~ 1 soup can milk Season the flour to taste with salt and pepper. Place in a bowl. Beat the eggs in another bowl. Heat some oil in a large skillet. Dip the squirrel pieces in the egg and then the flour. Repeat if you want. Add to hot oil. Fry until golden brown. Remove and drain fat. Return to skillet. Cover with the bacon and onion. Mix the soup and milk together and pour over meat. Cover, reduce heat and simmer for 2 hours. Serve with mashed potatoes and dinner rolls. Enjoy.
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Less technology , more biology . |
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#10
12/07/2007, 06:01 PM
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Squirrels can not be trusted. This happened to me in 2003.....before I became a cop. I posted this on another forum awhile back....but its pertinant....at least in my warped mind....
12-15-03 Okay.....This is how my day started.... I'm a bartender at a large Concert nightclub here in St louis, (The Pageant). it also has a 3 am liquor license...(which means I'm usually bartending until 4:30 am or so ), and I didnt get any sleep until about 5 am this morning. My girlfriend woke me up @ 10 am, saying that the dog was acting strange. Tyler, (87 lb lab/shepard/chow mix) was running to a specific window, looking up at it, and whining. He wouldnt go outside, just ran straight to the window. I get up, stagger to the window in my boxers, and pull back the blinds to see whats got the dog all riled up. A squirrel is hiding behind the blinds, inside the house. It looks as startled as I was, gave a sqeek, crouched down, baring its teeth in a defensive posture. I let out some early morning mishmash of startled profanity, and dropped the blinds back in place. In the background the talking heads on CNN announce that Saddam Hussein has been captured. I must have missed the find a fugitive meeting.... Heartened by the knowledge that our brave men and women in Iraq had captured their dangerous fugitive, I prepared to assault the window sill, flanked by my ridiculously excited dog, and my even more ridiculously scared girlfriend, (What if that damn tree rat has rabies??!!!). I armed myself w/ an outsized unused fish net, a pair of thick work gloves, (those lil suckers have some wicked sharp looking teeth, at least 3 feet long each. I know, I saw every one of 'em when it bared its teeth at me!) and a large empty 40 gallon rubbermaid trashcan and lid. The plan was to drop the net over the squirrel, scoop the lil terrorist off the window sill, into the the trash can, and then banish him to the great outdoors.....we all know what happens w/ plans right? In Slow motion.....Blinds get pulled back, net drops over surprised squirrel, squirrel freaks, squeals, (God as my witness it squealed), and begins to jump around and claw at the net, the dog lunges forward trying to get a look at the action, girlfriend screams, I go deaf. Scoop squirrel off window sill to put into trash can, squirrel pulls Jedi Knight/ Matrix kung fu move, flips out of the net, does 3 somersaults to land on the edge of the trash can, pirouettes neatly, gives me the finger, and lands gracefully on the floor. In wicked quick time.... Squirrel dashes towards the cracked open basement door, dog barks and thunders off in pursuit, (you'd have thought we had cornered a bear in the house by the noise made by the dog), now hysterical girlfriend passes out, I realize that things arent going according to plan. Squirrel shoulders thru door, dog barrels thru door, I take two steps towards the door, girlfriend hits floor. Squirrel pull yet another jedi knight/ matrix move, vaults onto the hot water heater, and manuevers through the plumbing like a 14 year old russian gymnist on the uneven bars, dog crashes into several boxes en route to the water heater causing a minor avalanche of stored goods, I reach the basement door. Squirrel reaches window which was barely open, (infiltration point) stops long enough to mock us, vow revenge, and escapes.... I'm not saying there is direct connection between Saddam and the demon squirrel. Nor am I speculating against the fact that the squirrel could have been an advance scout looking for a safe haven for Saddam. At this point in time, all leads are being followed up on. All members of the house are on a heightened security alert as a precaution against further squirrel advances. the score: US troops vs Saddam a success, Nick and Tyler vs squirrel a loss. Next time I'm calling for help...  Stay tuned for further bulletins as events warrant, Nick UPDATE loud noises eminating from the vicinity of the basement hallway, have the dog, and the girlfriend on high alert. The girlfriend states that she heard someone stomping up the stairs. She grabbed Tyler by the collar and calls out "Hello???" to anyone who might be hiding yet dumb enough to answer. (We live in a two family flat in St louis. The upstairs apartment is currently vacant while the landlord who is good friend of mine, renevates. The squirrel's original discovery, and the suspicious noises took place/ are coming from a stairwell that allows upstairs tennants access to the basement w/o going outside.) Our apartment is in a safe neighborhood in the city, but I've heard of people breaking in not too far from where we live, so I grab the gun, and the dog, and begin to investigate. Suddenly, my opponent turns the corner, sees me, and races off...but this time, the doors are firmly shut. Escape is impossible for something w/o opposable thumbs. Thinking quickly, I grab the dog, notify the girlfriend that it's back, and put the gun down. Rocio lets out a squeek, and slams the door shut, trapping me with the Satan squirrel. Now, I'm cussing, holding the dog, and trying not step on or kick the gun. The Three Stooges tripping on acid couldnt have come up with this. I get the dog and the gun downstairs, and back in the house w/ Rocio, and grab the net. Properly armed, I advance on my opponent with steely resolve. There's only one way this is gonna end. The squirrel is perched back up on the same window sill it was disovered on, making those "C'mere" kinda moves you see in Kung fu flicks on cable @ 4 am....I'm not frightened, Its Go Time! Slow motion...I make a quick feint w/ my left hand, causing the Squirrel to move right to evade, my net swoops down swiftly from the right, trapping it helplessly. The Rubbermaid beckons.... Lid off, Squirrel scooped in, lid shut.......VICTORY!!! I call out to Rocio to tell her that I've got it, she pops out like a startled Jack-in-the-box, and immediately askes if she can help me........................ "No thanks Honey, I think I can handle it from here"....(I swear this really happened....I couldnt believe it) Vicious beast captured in the trusty rubbermaid, I escorted him outside, across the street, and banished him. The squirrel, realizing that he was defeated, raced off to seek safer, less defended locations for a possible base of operations. Naturally now that the conflict was over, Rocio wanted to celebrate. So we took Tyler to go get pictures w/ Santa @ Petsmart.........sigh.....what a reward.....at least he got a stuffed squirrel chew toy as reward for valour in battle and suffering the indignity of being photographed w/ a fat man in a red polyester suit clinging to him like he was the last jelly doughnut on earth. I swear this has been a surreal day. I'm wondering if someone slipped some ecstacy in my coffee last night. Saddam, squirrels and Santa.....theres an unholy trinity if I've ever seen one. Nick
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A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn, that was fun!" |
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#12
12/07/2007, 07:56 PM
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Prarie dog................that's all I'm saying.
No really now I'm scared of them since I see the teeth they have. You keep your pet prarie dogs, I mean squirrles and I'll stick to the safe pet a fish.
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That's like rubbing a deer with bacon grease and turning it loose in the lion exhibit at the zoo. ~ Doc Joey |
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#14
12/08/2007, 01:17 PM
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I usually just shoot them with the BB gun. A few broken windows from poor shots but what the hey. Tasted good!
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Greater love hath no man than to lay down his life for his brother............. Here's to those before us, those of us, and those after us............ |
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#15
12/08/2007, 09:56 PM
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Oh boy.. that story is ef'n hilarious! Great story telling ability man.. I could actually picture the whole situation.. especially your girlfriend fainting ont he floor.. just typical of this kind of situation. It might have been a touch funnier had the squirrel run over your passed out girlfriend.
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- Danny Go SunDevils...there's always next year! |
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#17
12/09/2007, 12:41 AM
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__________________
Grim tells it like it is. Last year the SEC was the strongest conference but overrated. This year they were just overrated. |
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#18
12/09/2007, 12:50 AM
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great story maxx!!
reminds me of the time a bat made its way into my condo!
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"I wanna know what I've been hiding, in my shadow"-m.j.k. "well here we are, Mr. Pilgrim, trapped in the amber of this moment. There is no why." |
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#19
12/09/2007, 03:58 PM
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SNAKE FOOD !
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"What would you do if your legs got decapitated ?"--PoukieBear I look at her with my head tilted to the side and in a soft voice I just say; You're so pretty ! |
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#20
12/09/2007, 04:27 PM
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I agree... they are very obnoxious creatures (so much more than my rat when I was young), and I will probably never buy another rodent again.
BUT! I made the decision to bring them into my home, and here they will stay (healthy and happily) until they die.
__________________
"I and the public know What all schoolchildren learn, Those to whom evil is done Do evil in return." “Those things that nature denied to human sight, she revealed to the eyes of the soul.” |
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#21
12/10/2007, 08:40 AM
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Quote:
Glad everyone enjoyed my adventure w/ the tree rat. I certainly look at them differently now. They are on the same list as camels....not to be trusted at all. Nick
__________________
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn, that was fun!" |
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#22
12/10/2007, 10:24 AM
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Quote:
This thread has been reported to the FBI as Jokergirl has admitted to harboring known terrorists within her home. Squirrels are the next Al-Queda...the only good squirrel is the one in my crosshairs as I slowly squeeze the trigger.
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Chris ------ "Daddy, tomorrow when I get older & bigger, I'm goin huntin with you and shoot a big buck. Then I'm gonna cut it's legs off and throw it on the grill!" My 4yo son |
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#23
12/10/2007, 11:07 AM
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This is the scary photo for me.... The others actually make the things look cute and cuddly, even though I know better. That one......all business. I notice the teeth on this one are slightly less than 3 feet long. Maybe I was dealing w/ a Sabre Toothed Squirrel? Nick
__________________
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn, that was fun!" |
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#25
12/10/2007, 01:06 PM
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Quote:
Surprisingly, the one (Fatty) that's bearing her teeth IS the cute and cuddly one. She loves nothing more than to lay on her back and get belly rubs. It's the other one (who's name I cannot say on here) that is the wild one, but he's been getting better the more I work with him. That photo was only taken by chance. I was trying to get a photo of her, then she managed to squeak right as my camera went off. Lucky shot, I guess...
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"I and the public know What all schoolchildren learn, Those to whom evil is done Do evil in return." “Those things that nature denied to human sight, she revealed to the eyes of the soul.” |
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I have these in my yard
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