Ahhh!!! Holy Spontaneous Generation - Found An Unknown Fish in My Tank!!! - Page 4

Hemmie · #76 10/30/2002, 04:54 AM

I woke up this morning thinking this was all a bad dream, came to the board, and uh...it's not.

I seriously wonder Angela, have you researched this thing enough to find out what the fish does if the cuke dies? (which he WOULD be in my tank)
If the host dies, do you just end up with that God ugly fish just swimming around looking for a new cuke, or does it die when the host dies? Helluva way to acquire a rare fish. Can you imagine eating that thing like that article says????

I really do like looking at my tank at night too! Really!! I see a lot of crazy stuff, but I ALWAYS approach it s-l-o-w-l-y. I look in sideways at first, and always on my feet so if there's something awful in there I can look away fast and run.

If I look in and something is looking back at me, I throw one of the kids in front of the tank as a sacrifice and back off slowly.

If it looks safe and peaceful, I pull up my chair and sit a while. Thing is...since I got my GV rock, I have so many worms that they liteally COVER my rocks, and it's kind of creepy. Some are SO long, and I have one that just plain makes me shudder. It looks like a wooley caterpillar (maybe it's more than one) and I DON'T think "it's a good thing" as Martha would say.

And, whats the Cnadiru fish? (someone had to ask and I KNOW I'll be sorry)

I now have to approach this board in the same manner I approach my tank at night.

Sideways and ready to run.

Brad Gardner · #77 10/30/2002, 09:01 AM

My god Hemmie you are killing me. I laughed all night long about diapers on your dogs and cats and now your todays threads.

I nominate this thread as "Thread of the Year" and it must have a sticky.

wizardgus® · #78 10/30/2002, 09:21 AM

I agree with Brad, I thought I liked Hemmies posts before!

This is the best yet. A sticky would be nice, but I think either a mod or onr of the regulars should put a location copy in file, and every time there is a newbie question they could post this thread with a check here note. I am sure it would help all us newbies quit worrying so about aiptasia and bristleworms!

We had to cancel our Hawaiian vacation on Sunday, I NEEDED this thread!

A posterior view of Angelas cuke

TurboBrett · #79 10/30/2002, 09:29 AM

Talk about a real nightmare!

"The Candiru fish does have an odd and painful instinctual habit. However, this habit is completely human insinuated. Blood and urine attract the fish to humans (Mike Hagen, World Wide Web), so never swim nude in these Amazonian rivers or urinate in the water. If this is done, while the person is urinating, the Candiru will swim up the person's open urethra, man or women. At first, their is a small tickle felt by the person, almost a sexual tickle (Topping Family Publishers, World Wide Web). After the Candiru is in a comfortable position, it raises its spine, stabbing the inner surface of the urethra and causing outrageous pain (Topping Family Publishers and Mike Hagen, World Wide Web). However, that is only the beginning of the problem. Once the spine is lodged into the urethra, the fish will never leave. Women are more likely to have this event happen to them than men because they have a larger opening. However, more cases of this incident have been reported by men than women. This behavior of the Candiru is a very easily avoided.

Though this incident causes extreme pain, their are ways to make the pain stop. Unfortunately, they are either amputation of the organ or death (Topping Family Publishers, World Wide Web). However, these are not the only options to cure this incident. If the person is able to afford it, the person may have very expensive surgery to take out or kill the fish. The two plants used to do this are the Xaqua plant and the Buitach Apple (Mike Hagen, World Wide Web). These plants are inserted up the urethra and let alone to do the job at hand. The Buitach Apple kills the fish and dissolves it like an effervescent tablet (Mike Hagen, World Wide Web). If the surgery cannot be performed or afforded, their are always the first two options. "

seasquirt · #80 10/30/2002, 09:37 AM

Could you imagine the mayhem if someone released a candiru OR Angela's Gonad-Eating Buttfish into US waters? And we Marylanders got all bent out of shape about the Northern Snakehead!

Cakepro · #81 10/30/2002, 10:40 AM

You suckers...the urethra fish is just an urban legend!! The Candiru fish exists, true, but you can't find one documented case of this happening to a human. *Snicker*

~ Sherri

Cakepro · #82 10/30/2002, 10:42 AM

Forgot the link! http://starbulletin.com/2000/08/14/news/oceanwatch.html

LOL! Pee away!

~ Sherri

WFPetrie · #83 10/30/2002, 10:57 AM

Sherri,

How is it that you know so much about all the different fish that live in urinary and gastro-intestinal tracts of both humans and inverts?

Chad

hiddendragonet · #84 10/30/2002, 11:05 AM

HERE fishy fishy fishy fishy! HERE fishy fishy fishy fishy!

TurboBrett · #85 10/30/2002, 11:07 AM

I dont know....

http://www.straightdope.com/columns/000519.html
http://www.urbanlegends.com/animals/...u_urethra.html

They say it is real.
I'll trick someone into going down there so we will know for sure

-Brett

holeinone1972 · #86 10/30/2002, 11:43 AM

This is the funniest thread ever.

hiddendragonet, do you wanna go out sometime? lmfao!

alde · #87 10/30/2002, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by hiddendragonet
HERE fishy fishy fishy fishy! HERE fishy fishy fishy fishy!

Now, that's funny

.

jck · #88 10/30/2002, 11:56 AM

I hate to pile on, but I'd swear I saw a Discovery Channel special where they showed a crab using a cuke's posterior as a residence.

hiddendragonet · #89 10/30/2002, 12:03 PM

holeinone1972,

Quote:

This is the funniest thread ever.

hiddendragonet, do you wanna go out sometime? lmfao

Name?
Age?
M/F?

holeinone1972 · #90 10/30/2002, 12:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by hiddendragonet
holeinone1972,

Name?
Age?
M/F?

Does it really matter?

Did you ever wonder why they call me Hole in one?

nk57 · #91 10/30/2002, 12:56 PM

Holy Cow... This is the most bizarre thread I have ever read through. So weird that I had to read it twice.. Angela... can we schedule a RC field trip to your tank to see your butt eating fish??

Nancy

ecugman · #92 10/30/2002, 01:18 PM

Hey Angela,

I can only imagine the tricks your dog can do!!!

God or Mother Nature (whichever you prefer) has one weird sense of humor. He/she was sitting around one day, thinking how to improve on his/her creation, when all of a sudden an idea!!!! Lets create a fish that lives inside a sea cucumber, and just for kicks, it enters through the anus and eat gonads!!!

CLASSIC!!!!!!!!

cone9 · #93 10/30/2002, 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by hiddendragonet
HERE fishy fishy fishy fishy! HERE fishy fishy fishy fishy!

Oh, God...that's too funny...you're killing me man!!!!!

I'm in the middle of reading this thread and my 3 year old comes in from the bathroom and says; "Daddy, wipe my butt" --- I've done it a million times, but it was so different this time!!!

"Angela's gonad eating butt fish"
"Angela's gonad eating butt fish"
"Angela's gonad eating butt fish"

This is just too funny!!!!!

ChrisPrusha · #94 10/30/2002, 01:19 PM

I'm away from this board for a few days and I come back to THIS?!?!?!

This is absolutely bizarre! I would have loved to see the look on Angela's face when this fish mysteriously appeared, and again when she found out exactly what it was.

Ahhh, Reef Central. Entertainment like nowhere else!

Chris

Nethos · #95 10/30/2002, 01:48 PM

If you do manage to catch this Buttfish...

PLEASE DO NOT FLUSH IT DOWN THE TOILET!!!!

wayner1 · #96 10/30/2002, 01:58 PM

Hemmee:

You had me laughing so hard (crying), I pulled a muscle in my butt, at least I hope it was a muscle, please! please! Doc, tell me it's just a muscle.

Nek · #97 10/30/2002, 02:21 PM

So a word of advice:

If this happens while you are swimming

:fun1:

just do like the yellow dude is doing and tighten up.

Hemmie · #98 10/30/2002, 02:57 PM

First the fish goes up the urethra. Then they jam a plant up your urethra for a cure. Not THIS urethra. Nuh, uh. They call this a sexual tickle? What sicko calls this a SEXUAL TICKLE?

Is euthanasia an option? I mean for the victim, not the damn fish. THAT picture is of THE fish???????? If this happens to me, please put a gun to my head.

Women have larger WHAT'S??? Amputate WHAT organ?????? The man's penis (oh yeah..I'm actually warm and fuzzy now) but which organ do you amp on the woman? (God...did I really ask that?) Can we get the Angelas Gonad Eating Butt Fish to get the Urethra Fish out? I mean..we all like to do things the "natural way" if possible and it sounds feasable to me.

I not only will never swim again, I will never take another bath. Nor will I ever sit on the toilet. Not at Angelas house anyways.

Actually, I think I'll give up peeing altogether.

Cakepro, I too want to know why you know so much about butt/urethra dwellers.

There isn't a newbie in his right mind who would even START a tank after readibg this lunatic thread.

I prayed for this thread to have been a dream, then I prayed for it to die, then I prayed for God to give me the strength to stay away.

Talk about "unanswered prayers".

Mushroom Boy · #99 10/30/2002, 03:05 PM

Has anybody noticed that Angela hasn't posted to this thread today? I hope the gonad eating butt fish didn't go mud-skipper on her overnight!

Cakepro · #**100** 10/30/2002, 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hemmie
Cakepro, I too want to know why you know so much about butt/urethra dwellers.

I swear, I don't have some sort of sick anal/urethral fetish...I saw it all on the Discovery Channel!! Yep, that's my story and I'm sticking to it!!

~ Sherri

psss...I really DID see it on the Discovery channel!