Some giggles

[dkh0331]

One winter morning a husband and wife in northern Idaho were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer Say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the Snowplows can get through." So the good wife went out and moved her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." The good wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park...." Then the electric power went out. The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?" With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time

________________________________________________________


A farmer got in his truck and drove to a neighboring farm and knocked at the farmhouse door. A young boy, about nine, opened the door.

"Is your Dad home?" the farmer asked.

"Sorry he isn't," the boy replied, "He went into town."

"Well," said the farmer, "Is your mom here?"

"No, sir, she's not here either. She went into town with Dad."

"How about your brother, Greg? Is he here?"

"He went with Mom and Dad."

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to
the other and mumbling to himself.

"Is there anything I can do for ya?" the boy asked politely. "I know where all the tools are if you want to borrow one. Or maybe I could take a message for Dad."

"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Greg getting my daughter pregnant."

The boy considered for a moment. "You'd have to talk to Dad about that," he finally conceded. "If it helps you any, I know that Dad charges $200 for the bull and $150 for the pig, but I really don't know how much he gets for Greg."

[Aliie]

ROTFLMAO repeatedly!

[dkh0331]

And you would be.................. who??????

[Aliie]

Yeah yeah I know. I've been gone for a few days or so but I missed you doesn't that count for something?

[dc]

Very little Aliie, David's on the list...

[dkh0331]

Originally posted by Aliie
Yeah yeah I know. I've been gone for a few days or so but I missed you doesn't that count for something?

Yes.

Yes it does.

Originally posted by dc
Very little Aliie, David's on the list...

The cookie list?

[Aliie]

Originally posted by dc
Very little Aliie, David's on the list...

Ooooo, someone was bad while I was gone!!

[dc]

David is always bad.

[Aliie]

Originally posted by dc
David is always bad.

He's always good at being bad

[dkh0331]

After a night of drinking, Brian crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.

He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe.

"Who are you?" demanded Brian, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?"

The mysterious Man answered, "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St. Peter".

Brian was stunned, "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so much too live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family.... you've got to send me back right away".

St Peter replied, "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen."

Brian was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground.

"This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said, "So you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?"

"It's not so bad," replies Brian, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode".


"You're ovulating," explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never laid an egg before."

"Never," replies Brian.

"Well just relax and let it happen."

And so he did, and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that had happened to him ..ever!!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting,





"Brian, wake up you drunken fool, you're poopin' in the bed!

[Aliie]

OMG, LOL You are bad!!

[kzickovich]

LOL that's great!!!!!!!!!

[Jeffrey Porter]

that third one is a repost!! but the first 2 were great.

[SJGreene]

They're all great!!!

[wizardgus®]

So the woman takes her 6 YO son to the zoo. As they get to the one exhibit he blurts out, "Look Mom, it's a fricken elephant!"

She looks at him startled and says, "What did you say?!"

He replied, "It's a fricken elephant!"

Now a little embarrassed she says, "And where did you get that?"

"Right there on the sign!" he replied.

She looks and sure enough, A F R I C A N Elephant.

[Aliie]

That's cute.