Father kills family that was turned away at shelter because 16 yo boy was in family

[BrianD]

So....I wonder if families with girls over 13 are turned away?


Jackson, Mo. victims denied shelter
ASSOCIATED PRESS
12/06/2007

JACKSON, Mo. -- Katherine Moshiri feared for herself and her children's safety, but was turned away from a shelter because one of her children was too old, a newspaper reported Thursday.

The husband, Mir Shahin Moshiri, 36, shot his wife, their two young children and his stepson on Monday, then turned the gun on himself. He and 4-year-old Madison Moshiri died Monday. The stepson, 16-year-old Michael Jeffers, died Tuesday. Katherine Moshiri and 2-year-old Meghan Moshiri remain in critical condition.

Police have ruled it a murder-suicide.

A friend told the Southeast Missourian newspaper that a shelter turned away Katherine Moshiri and the children "because Michael was too old."

After learning she couldn't stay at the shelter, Moshiri filed for an order of protection against her husband less than two hours before the shooting rampage.

Linda Garner, spokeswoman for the Safe House for Women, said, "It is our policy and the policy of most of the shelters in southeast Missouri not to allow males over the age of 13 to stay here." She declined to say whether Moshiri sought help, citing confidentiality.

If a shelter turns someone away, other options would be discussed, Garner said. Those options would include going to another shelter without such a policy, including one in Columbia; contacting relatives; or staying at a hotel until other arrangements are made.

"In some situations, the woman leaving the area might be the best situation," Garner said.

Garner described the Safe House for Women as a "communal living situation," prompting the need to prohibit boys over the age of 13.

The friend, who asked not to be identified, said Katherine Moshiri, 35, met her husband at a car dealership where he used to work in Las Vegas.

"Katherine was a lady of the world. She was not gullible at all, but he was very, very, very charismatic," she said.

Jackson is in Cape Girardeau County, about 100 miles south of St. Louis.

[BTTRFLYGRL]

OMG!! It was her son! What on earth are mothers with teen sons supposed to do, leave them with the abusive fathers?

[english83]

We just talked about this in my Psych and Law class. Apparently boys over 12 or 13 are not accepted in the shelters at all. There is no answer for this. I guess the boys are supposed to fend for themselves. Our prof, who has a PhD in Psych and is also an attorney, had no answer for this.

[Scuba_Dave]

Well, I guess if the Mother & child live they will be accepted now

Some rules are stupid

[jpfelix]

my grandmother was a social worker in cape. she's retired now but still lives in jackson. she never would talk about work. the bootheel is not a great place to be if you need help.

[TheBimbo]

That has got to be the stupidest thing ever!!! I just can't believe how somebody can honestly think that is o kay- where in the world do they get these rules from?


Christy

[gtrestoration]

I don't think there's room in the shelters that are now in existence to take everyone in that needs the help. So rather than risk it they simply choose to except those that are less likely to cause them problems.
Not saying it's right, but just trying to see it from their viewpoint.
What needs to be done is let the funding agencies or private donors know what's going on.

SteveU

[MandM]

That's incredibly sad that they didn't find help when they needed it. I do understand why the shelter didn't allow a 16 year old boy ( a boy that age coming from an abusive home has the potential to be seen as threatening by many of the sheltered women and young children) but they could have helped find a safe place for them. A hotel sounds like an option but without a Visa card and money, the family would have been turned away there too. Very sad.

[yrema]

that's dumb.

[Sk8r]

Y'know, when I was stranded fundless in Athens, as in Greece, there was one thing that we so appreciated...no matter who it was, the American Express counter, the hotel we were paying off with diminishing funds as we took yet one more step down on the scale---absolutely everybody [except the American Embassy] viewed us as their moral obligation to pass on to another definite party. Each person made a phone call to pass us to the next, gave us a card with the address of somebody who would help us, and that person, in turn, would pass us on to somebody also helpful. We were not in the least Greek---but nobody washed their hands of us and told us to move on. [The American State Department got a scathing letter when we finally got home, and I got a profound apology---for what it was worth by then.]

You'd think that this country that so prides itself on a tradition of charitable behavior would manage that very, very essential little trait. Didn't cost anybody anything but a phone call and an address on a card---that, and a concept of where help was to be had; but they didn't guess---they personally confirmed it, and on that card, in each instance, was a name of a human being who would take care of us.

Why not? Did it cost so much for that organization's representative to do a little phonecall for this family and send them somewhere safe?

[BrianD]

It is sad that the 16 year old boy, instead of being viewed as a victim, was instead viewed as a abuser-in-training. It is sad that it is socially acceptable to stereotype young males in this way.

[Sk8r]

I absolutely agree with you, BrianD. And look what a choice they gave that family: put your 16-year-old-boy on the street for what fate you can only imagine, and go into the shelter with everybody else---or stick together as a conspicuous target. I wonder how many of us would have 'followed policy' and shoved that family out the door with no other destination and no help. If I had to keep them sitting in the lobby sipping cocoa all night, I'd have been on the phone finding them a spot, including calling the police, Child Welfare and the youth judiciary, plus the missions and the other agencies including teen aid...nobody should ever, ever turn the helpless back onto the street with no recourse and none of the expertise you pick up when you deal with The System. That just sucks beyond words.