[Muttling]

Enough morbid crap, let's talk funeral humor..........


TRUE STORY!!!!!!!!!!



When my great uncle died (least I think the ancestory calls him a great uncle), he was the head of household on a 1,000 acre farm in Lynchburg, Virginia. This is RURAL America in the very early 1960's. What the head of the house says GOES, no questions asked.

Like all good tails, he had a death bed confession. For the previous 30 years, he'd been having an affair and he wanted his mistress to ride with family in the limosine to the cemetary then sit on the front row at grave side with the rest of his family (including his wife.)

Asside from being a farmer, he was a retired high school principle and an EXTREMELY popular man in the community. Everyone knew him and most folks went to school under him.

The entire county turned out for his funeral and there were many wondering why his African American farm hand from the 1930's was riding with the family and sitting at the grave side.


This is one of those stories that children aren't told until they're digging through old family photo's and ask "Who's that black woman beside Great Aunt Ruby?"

For the record, Ruby is the only person of her generation that I have memories of. She spoiled my generation and my dad went to great lengths to spoil her. (Dad was her in-law, but he ****ed my mom off frequently by giving her whatever she desired. Often it was a plant or a toaster, but it was occassionally a bottle of whiskey. Dad kept her giggling, even when it ****ed off his wife.) She was everything a child dreams a grandparent should be. Complaining when the least little punishment is administered and giving candy whenever the parents aren't looking. She was more appropriate with previous generations, but her ridiculous desire to please make me wish my son could have known her. I know it would frustrate me, but it would make him glow!!!! Ruby was all about spoiling's finer points. There is an ugly side to spoiling, but we didn't see her enough for it to come to light. Seeing Ruby was a special occassion that happened once or twice a year.