Quote:
Originally posted by Nina51
it seems so unfair to have to go through such a long process. i'm not feeling sorry for myself by any means but, it's bad enough to lose him but to be faced with month after endless month of all the different stages...why can't it just happen all at once and be done? i want so much to get to the "acceptance" part where i can look at pictures of gary without crying and wishing he was still here.
soon, i'm gonna have to make myself go pick out a memorial to be placed on his grave. i have gone so far as to call a few places and pose some questions but i have not yet been able to bring myself to actually go LOOK at them. that's gonna really suck.
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Nina, hon this is just a horrible part of the process and believe me I've been through it years ago when I lost my pap-he was like my bestfriend and I took care of his every need. It took me a very long time to "accept" any part of it, really... It was a bit easier as he'd already taken care of his arrangements with my gram, it was all payed for and just waiting for him. I am grateful for that though, it was hard enough on the little decisions.
Just this morning I thought of him and the weirdest thing, I thought of Gary, it seriously made me smile... My pap was a big duckpin bowler, he did regular 10 pin but his passion was the duckpin ones... he didn't miss a game and when he wasn't able to bowl anymore it broke my heart as I'm sure it broke his.
Nina don't rush things they'll all fall into place when it's the "right" time in your life. I really believe that Gary is trying to do this at the right moments b/c he knows how hard all of this is on you and he'd never in a zillion years ever want to hurt you... it will be okay, I know it's easy for me or anyone else to say this to you, but we only say it because we know it...
Christy