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it seems so unfair to have to go through such a long process. i'm not feeling sorry for myself by any means but, it's bad enough to lose him but to be faced with month after endless month of all the different stages...why can't it just happen all at once and be done? i want so much to get to the "acceptance" part where i can look at pictures of gary without crying and wishing he was still here.
soon, i'm gonna have to make myself go pick out a memorial to be placed on his grave. i have gone so far as to call a few places and pose some questions but i have not yet been able to bring myself to actually go LOOK at them. that's gonna really suck.
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of all the things i've lost, i miss my gary the most.
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