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It's all natural and normal, Nina and you can't control your dreams or force your mind to deal with things it's not ready to.
The unexpected rushes of sorrow can go on a long time, but they start to get less frequent and farther apart as you go on. They sneak up and hit for the darndest triggers at the worst times.
Sometimes I don't even know what the trigger was that started it but find myself sneaking into the restroom in a public place to pull myself together.
It's all part of the healing process and you'll get there. Physically a little cut takes a short time to heal but a big gaping tear takes stitches and a long time. Emotionally, you've experienced the latter so don't rush or be hard on yourself.
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