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If you want to be able to autofocus with non AF-S lenses, then go with the D80. Non AF-S lenses can be used on the D40(x), its just that you have to manually focus the lens. People make such a huge issue over the D40(x) lacking non AF-S lens capability but they don't really know that the most widely used lenses are the 12-24 f4, 17-55 f2.8, and the 70-200mm f2.8, all being AF-S lenses. The only problem about these three lenses is that they cost a pretty penny. A very nice all-around lens would be the 18-200 VR, but that can run you around $700.
The D40(x)'s main advantage is just it's size. My brother who shoots a D200 is looking at getting a D40 just for days when he doesn't want people gawking at his huge D200. In addition the D40(x) is very light, if weight is an issue to you. I got my friend into photography and he started off with a D40, but is starting the feel the need to upgrade to a D70s or D80.
The D80 allows CLS control for speedlights such as the SB-600 and SB-800, meaning you can set up the flash in such a way that it will flash wirelessly. Also you don't really need to constantly use the rear screen in order to change a setting unlike the D40(x). I have played around with my friend's D40, but prefer being able to change settings through the viewfinder or by the top screen.
As for the options listed, it would have to be option 5 as having VR is a really nice feature. I have heard of distortion issues with the 18-135, although I have seen pretty good pictures taken with it.
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