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Although losing a father is nothing like losing a partner, I'll try to relate. I have to say that I have only dreamed about my Dad about 3 times in the 7 years that he's been gone. Because he was so very ill before he died, I too very often wished that his suffering would end. Every single time I dreamt about him, I remember feeling a heck of a lot of anxiety. I knew that because he was alive in my dreams, I would have to start worrying about him again. I felt so very selfish after waking from these dreams. Still do.
Don't force it Nina. When he's ready to visit you in your dreams, he will.
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PC load letter? What the {bleep} does that mean?
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