Man's rules for women
 

Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and NASCAR.

Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

Crying is blackmail.

Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!

We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Check your own oil! Please.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done - not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

I'm in shape. - ROUND is a shape.

So how's that working for ya?

great, thanks for asking! :lol:

:p

JJ you'll never make it past 18 with those rules!

Haha, i like the last one.

these are awesome. print out at least 24092482974 copies and distribute

hahaha thats great

If women refuse so accept something so basic as the below, why do you think they will accept ANY resemblance of reasonable and realistic expectations.


"Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down."

HAHAHA.. thats great, and lotts of it is true too.. lol

You're not married, are you kid? If you ever think marriage is in the future for you, don't get too attached to those, um, ideas.

[QUOTE][i]<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=11496514#post11496514 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by batguano [/i]
[B]You're not married, are you kid? If you ever think marriage is in the future for you, don't get too attached to those, um, ideas. [/B][/QUOTE]


:lol: Yes, men know when to buckle....

[QUOTE][i]<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=11496581#post11496581 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by dc [/i]
[B]:lol: Yes, men know when to buckle.... [/B][/QUOTE]

And when not to.

If it itches, it will be scratched.

My rules for Men
 

If you can have them for women, I can have them for men... these may be bias since My boyfriend does all the work, but here are my rules:

We may love the hobby and even shop and aquascape with you... In my case.... even have OCD moments just like you... but our lives cannot revolve around the fish tank.

Yes I love the fish, but try not to take over the freezer with their food... and don't spill your defrosted food in my fridge.

If you are going to purify your own water, try not to flood the house.

Please try to stick to a 1 to 1 ratio of fish tanks to rooms.

If you must cure rock... do it outside or in the garage...

If your coral stings you because you are too stupid or manly to wear gloves, don't expect my pity.

If you have a reef tank, don't get aggervated when we like a fish that isn't reef safe... Women like pretty things... either squeeze a fish only tank into your 1 to 1 ratio or let us down gently...

If you sell us on the idea that a tank is for me, and that I am going to aquascape and maintain it, aside from water changes..... keep your hands out of my tank.

[QUOTE][i]<a href=showthread.php?s=&postid=11496581#post11496581 target=_blank>Originally posted</a> by dc [/i]
[B]:lol: Yes, men know when to buckle.... [/B][/QUOTE]



We can even break when we have too!!!!

:)

It's unfortunate how such reasonable rules are regarded as silly or idiotic... I totally get why dudes can be gay lol!