squidsqueezer
12/06/2001, 08:14 PM
Hello, dammit.
About two weeks ago, I walked into the local gym and overheard two fellows having a discussion about something that they kept referring to (albeit in hushed and overawed tones) as "Shrimp Louie." It was a relatively short conversation and went something like this:
"Shrimp Louie, man...he FU**ING ROCKS, dude."
"Way, dude."
"Did you see him whack that fish, bro? He slew it, dude. It was E-V-I-L."
"Way, dude."
"And the way he FU**ING looks at you, dude. It's like he knows something you don't...know what I'm saying, bro?"
"Way, dude."
"Dude, he FU**ING CHOPPED TODD IN THE FINGER, DUDE! DID YOU SEE HIS FU**ING FINGER?!?"
"Dude, I saw it. It was tore up, dude."
"The shrimp is evil, dude."
"Way."
Obviously, after listening in to this exchange, my curiousity was peaked.
I walked over, introduced myself, and asked them what in the hell they were talking about. They told me, with a fascinated gleam in their eyes.
To make a painfully long story quite a bit shorter, I'm sitting here in the late afternoon, desperately typing this plea for reassurance, with a six-gallon eclipse (sans shrimp for now) bubbling away on the desk next to me.
Help.
What in the hell am i doing?
I am no aquariast. I may not have even spelled it right.
So far, I'm in for a lot of money, and no one will give me the straight information on what to do. I have read a few web-pages on the mantis shrimp hobby, and there seems to be a good deal of disagrement there, too. Let me throw you a few facts (as I have been introduced to them), and if any of you are willing to help me out, I will be very grateful.
Fish Store Guy #1: Sells me a six gallon tank for $60, Live sand for $3 per pound ($30), Live rock for $5 per pound ($15), Rio 50GPM powerhead for $30, and a shrimp that I haven't even seen yet (it's coming in on Monday) for $20. He tells me that NOTHING can live in the tank with this monstrosity, becasue the shrimp will immediately eviscerate it and I will be out the money. I leave the store feeling slightly shagged, really broke, and not entirely certain that I've done the right thing, so I cruise over to...
Fish Store Guy #2: He tells me that FSG#1 doesn't know what in the hell he's talking about. This thing, he tells me, will crack through my eclipse 6 with a flick of it's tiny claws, leaving me with a ruined rug and the world's most perpetually ****ed off invertebrate lose in the house and hungry for my entrails. He tells me I need a 20gal tank, no rocks, no live sand (because live sand has bristle worms), and a really good air-pump/stone. I say "thanks for the advice" and leave to hunt for more information, which leads me to...
Fish Store Guy #3: This guy tells me that I will need a "bigger setup" to keep the shrimp alive for very long, and that it will probably break out of the tank (as in...smash through it) in the first day. He also says that I will need a starfish or something in the tank in order to help stir it up (?!?), and that live sand is a good idea because bristle worms will clean up the miscelaneous chunks of victim after the shrimp has murdered its dinner.
So, off to...
Fish Store Guy #4: I sincerely suspect that FSG#4 is a refugee from some war-torn country in Asia that only a handful of very old cartographers have ever heard of. He stood about 4'5" tall, 75lbs, and talked with such a heavy accent that I could only understand every seventh word or so. HE, however, ACTUALLY HAD A MANTIS SHRIMP IN HIS STORE!!! So, he may have known wherefrom he spoke. Not a lot of good that did me, however, since I couldn't understand a goddam thing he said.
It probably took at least ten minutes of him shouting "OH YOOWON SLIMP?! EYENAH SLIMP! DEEMEE KAH BOON KAH (I still haven't figured this bit out yet)! CUMSEE CUMSEE SLIMP!" before I understood that he had a shrimp that he wanted to show me somewhere in the store. It took quite a time, and quite an interrogation, for him to actually find out where it was, though. He had to call out his family(?) and question them one by one (all eleven of them) until the very last fellow in the line stepped up and said "EYEGAH POONAH SLIMP, HE COT FEENGAH!! ROOK! ROOK MEYE FEENGAH! SLIMP EEN PUMPNOW! SLIMP EEN PUMP"
With that, the proprietor opened up a door beneath a huge reef-tank, revealing a large aquarium full of peculiar looking blue balls (a filter of some sort?). Since it was dark down there, he deftly procured his cigarette lighter and knelt down on all fours to...find the slimp.
After about another ten minutes of seemingly futile searching and repeatedly burning his fingers, there was a loud THWACK and the proprietor jumped back shouting, "SLIMP, SLIMP!!! YOOSEE SLIMP!!"
In truth, I didn't see the fu**ing slimp. I didn't have the heart to tell him that, however. I couldn't stand the thought of him down there for another half-hour or so, flicking his goddamned bic and mumbling profanities in Micronesian.
So here I sit. Potentially inappropriate tank and a slimp on the way in three days. Help. Please.
Thanks.
-squidsqueezer
red.guard@verizon.net
About two weeks ago, I walked into the local gym and overheard two fellows having a discussion about something that they kept referring to (albeit in hushed and overawed tones) as "Shrimp Louie." It was a relatively short conversation and went something like this:
"Shrimp Louie, man...he FU**ING ROCKS, dude."
"Way, dude."
"Did you see him whack that fish, bro? He slew it, dude. It was E-V-I-L."
"Way, dude."
"And the way he FU**ING looks at you, dude. It's like he knows something you don't...know what I'm saying, bro?"
"Way, dude."
"Dude, he FU**ING CHOPPED TODD IN THE FINGER, DUDE! DID YOU SEE HIS FU**ING FINGER?!?"
"Dude, I saw it. It was tore up, dude."
"The shrimp is evil, dude."
"Way."
Obviously, after listening in to this exchange, my curiousity was peaked.
I walked over, introduced myself, and asked them what in the hell they were talking about. They told me, with a fascinated gleam in their eyes.
To make a painfully long story quite a bit shorter, I'm sitting here in the late afternoon, desperately typing this plea for reassurance, with a six-gallon eclipse (sans shrimp for now) bubbling away on the desk next to me.
Help.
What in the hell am i doing?
I am no aquariast. I may not have even spelled it right.
So far, I'm in for a lot of money, and no one will give me the straight information on what to do. I have read a few web-pages on the mantis shrimp hobby, and there seems to be a good deal of disagrement there, too. Let me throw you a few facts (as I have been introduced to them), and if any of you are willing to help me out, I will be very grateful.
Fish Store Guy #1: Sells me a six gallon tank for $60, Live sand for $3 per pound ($30), Live rock for $5 per pound ($15), Rio 50GPM powerhead for $30, and a shrimp that I haven't even seen yet (it's coming in on Monday) for $20. He tells me that NOTHING can live in the tank with this monstrosity, becasue the shrimp will immediately eviscerate it and I will be out the money. I leave the store feeling slightly shagged, really broke, and not entirely certain that I've done the right thing, so I cruise over to...
Fish Store Guy #2: He tells me that FSG#1 doesn't know what in the hell he's talking about. This thing, he tells me, will crack through my eclipse 6 with a flick of it's tiny claws, leaving me with a ruined rug and the world's most perpetually ****ed off invertebrate lose in the house and hungry for my entrails. He tells me I need a 20gal tank, no rocks, no live sand (because live sand has bristle worms), and a really good air-pump/stone. I say "thanks for the advice" and leave to hunt for more information, which leads me to...
Fish Store Guy #3: This guy tells me that I will need a "bigger setup" to keep the shrimp alive for very long, and that it will probably break out of the tank (as in...smash through it) in the first day. He also says that I will need a starfish or something in the tank in order to help stir it up (?!?), and that live sand is a good idea because bristle worms will clean up the miscelaneous chunks of victim after the shrimp has murdered its dinner.
So, off to...
Fish Store Guy #4: I sincerely suspect that FSG#4 is a refugee from some war-torn country in Asia that only a handful of very old cartographers have ever heard of. He stood about 4'5" tall, 75lbs, and talked with such a heavy accent that I could only understand every seventh word or so. HE, however, ACTUALLY HAD A MANTIS SHRIMP IN HIS STORE!!! So, he may have known wherefrom he spoke. Not a lot of good that did me, however, since I couldn't understand a goddam thing he said.
It probably took at least ten minutes of him shouting "OH YOOWON SLIMP?! EYENAH SLIMP! DEEMEE KAH BOON KAH (I still haven't figured this bit out yet)! CUMSEE CUMSEE SLIMP!" before I understood that he had a shrimp that he wanted to show me somewhere in the store. It took quite a time, and quite an interrogation, for him to actually find out where it was, though. He had to call out his family(?) and question them one by one (all eleven of them) until the very last fellow in the line stepped up and said "EYEGAH POONAH SLIMP, HE COT FEENGAH!! ROOK! ROOK MEYE FEENGAH! SLIMP EEN PUMPNOW! SLIMP EEN PUMP"
With that, the proprietor opened up a door beneath a huge reef-tank, revealing a large aquarium full of peculiar looking blue balls (a filter of some sort?). Since it was dark down there, he deftly procured his cigarette lighter and knelt down on all fours to...find the slimp.
After about another ten minutes of seemingly futile searching and repeatedly burning his fingers, there was a loud THWACK and the proprietor jumped back shouting, "SLIMP, SLIMP!!! YOOSEE SLIMP!!"
In truth, I didn't see the fu**ing slimp. I didn't have the heart to tell him that, however. I couldn't stand the thought of him down there for another half-hour or so, flicking his goddamned bic and mumbling profanities in Micronesian.
So here I sit. Potentially inappropriate tank and a slimp on the way in three days. Help. Please.
Thanks.
-squidsqueezer
red.guard@verizon.net