View Full Version : fish jokes?
Man, this must be my night. You all are probably tired of seeing my initials.
Anyway, I need some fish jokes for upcomming lessons in my classes. The only one I got is:
What did the fish say when it ran into a wall"
"Dam" <groan>
Anybody help me out?
Thanks,
b.
Danny B
02/01/2000, 10:14 PM
this joke works better spoken than read.
what do you call a fish with no eyes?
fsshh
I think you are showing your age-wasn't that the name of an album in the 60's? :D
humbug
02/02/2000, 02:05 AM
hmmm...I used to have some...I'll see if I can find 'em again.
Doug1
02/02/2000, 07:40 AM
Hey Beemer, You can Tuna piano but you cant tuna fish :rolleyes:
------------------
Reef as though your life depended on it, yours does'nt but the sea's does.........Doug ReefCentral/ReefTank moderator
cjdevito
02/02/2000, 02:23 PM
<you asked for it>
Did you hear about the guy who's fiance was a fish?
He married her just for the halibut.
</you asked for it>
billsreef
02/02/2000, 08:52 PM
I'm getting a haddock from these jokes :p
------------------
Bill
If damsels grew as big as sharks, the sharks would run in fear!
My dive photos (http://hometown.aol.com/billsreef/)
ICQ 56222784
[This message has been edited by billsreef (edited 02-02-2000).]
Doug1
02/03/2000, 01:45 AM
Are you thinking of Hot Tuna? I believe its a matter of record I qualify for ancient status
:rolleyes:
------------------
Reef as though your life depended on it, yours does'nt but the sea's does.........Doug ReefCentral/ReefTank moderator
fumanchu
08/22/2000, 06:30 PM
i know this is 6months old and late but i felt like going back in time a little. it's better to have lobsters on your piano than to have crabs on your organs.
KASESQ
08/22/2000, 11:24 PM
And that's the trout, the whole trout, and nothing but the trout, so help me cod.
Doug1
08/22/2000, 11:36 PM
Oh now thats really bad :eek:
hehehehehe :D
------------------
Reef as though your life depended on it, yours might but the sea's does.........Doug ReefTank administrator
visit www.thereeftank.com (http://www.thereeftank.com) userfriendly and flame free
reefcrazed
08/23/2000, 07:29 AM
What do fish smoke?
Seaweed!
nuff2000
08/23/2000, 08:26 AM
you people are sick! Sick I tell you, sick, sick, sick, sick!!!
I love it! lol
david
------------------
Patience is the one commodity that we, as reefers, need the most
of, and the one we
cannot buy!!!!!
Deacon
08/23/2000, 08:42 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Doug1:
You can Tuna piano but you cant tuna fish :rolleyes:
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Late 70's, REO Speedwagon. Can't remember any of the tracks right now however...
These are real bad....I would only use then if you are desperate......(very desperate)
What is dry on the outside, filled with water and blows up buildings ?
A fish tank !
What fish goes up the river at 100mph ?
A motor pike !
Why are dolphins cleverer than humans ?
Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish !
Where do shellfish go to borrow money ?
To the prawn broker !
What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can't refuse ?
The Codfather !
How could the dolphin afford to buy a house ?
He prawned everything !
Which fish can perform operations ?
A Sturgeon !
Why did the whale cross the road ?
To get to the other tide !
Where do little fishes go every morning ?
To plaice school !
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark ?
As far away as possible !
What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much ?
A beer-a-cuda !
Who has eight guns and terrorises the ocean ?
Billy the Squid !
What happened to the cold jellyfish ?
It set !
Where do you find a down-and-out octopus ?
On squid row !
What kind of fish will help you hear better ?
A herring aid !
How do fish go into business ?
They start on a small scale !
What is the best way to communicate with a fish ?
Drop it a line !
Where are most fish found ?
Between the head and the tail !
How does an octopus go to war ?
Well-armed !
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus ?
I wanna hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand,hand, hand !
What do you get if you cross a trout with an
apartment ?
A flat fish !
........this could be my last post ever as I doubt I will be allowed back in after that lot.
Nige
DJREEF
08/23/2000, 10:41 AM
Stop!!! Good GOD, enough already!!!
DJ
Deacon
08/23/2000, 12:24 PM
Ay carumba, its like someone kept pulling the string on a Henny Youngman doll.
dennisV
08/23/2000, 01:49 PM
you want the traut ? You can't handle the traut !
dennisV
08/23/2000, 01:51 PM
my fish jumped out of the tank and fell on the floor. He was alive when i found him, but i had to squash it with my foot. The damn thing was biting at me. BOB BOB BOB
fumanchu
08/23/2000, 03:41 PM
sorry about the last one. glad it's off. i did not think of the young ones.
vBulletin® v3.8.4, Copyright ©2000-2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.